Denying Some Luxuries During Childhood Has Provided Our Kids Much Laughter In Adulthood

Some people might have called us cheap. I prefer the term frugal. We weren’t poor during our child-rearing years, but as a one-income household for most of them, we were prudent and conservative with our spending. That meant our kids sometimes went without some of the luxuries their friends had or missed out on some of the things they experienced. While they might have been disgruntled at the time, those “lack of luxury” moments as children now provide them with limitless moments of laughter as adults.

My husband and I grew up in homes where clipping coupons from the Sunday paper was a ritual, and paying full price for our clothes was unthinkable. Most of our childhood “vacations” involved piling into a station wagon, complete with a cooler full of sandwiches and sodas so we didn’t need to stop at restaurants, and setting off to visit relatives in another state. Our own parents were frugal out of necessity, so I guess we naturally erred on the side of restraint when it came time for us to raise children.

Before anyone accuses us of selfishly withholding things and opportunities from our children when we were perfectly capable of providing them, let me set the record straight. My husband and I were high school sweethearts and married right after my college graduation. The plan was always for me to stay home and raise our children once we were blessed with them. So, even though we both worked in those first few years of marriage, we tried never to get used to living on two incomes. That meant forming habits of prudence when it came to spending money.

On our first date, I unashamedly offered a coupon I had for the pizza restaurant we went to, and coupons remained a fixture in our lives for years to come. After we were married, we frequented Mexican restaurants on date nights to take advantage of the free chips and salsa. Once our first son was born, I religiously collected the “points” from the diapers we used to buy toys and other items I would not normally splurge on.

After our second child was born, I became a full-time stay-at-home mom, and those thrifty spending habits intensified. Though my husband had a good job, he was just starting out, and his industry was experiencing some instability at the time (he is a pilot, and it was 2001). There was always the lingering concern in our minds of possible furloughs and strikes. While those concerns didn’t consume us, they did make us vigilant about our savings-to-spending ratio. By the time our third and fourth children were born, frugality was just our way of life.

Thrifty living wasn’t so bad when our kids were little. They didn’t know they were missing out on anything (I’m not convinced they were the ones who “missed out”) when we spent days exploring parks, splashing in puddles, and visiting the neighborhood playgrounds. It only became a challenge when they started school and compared their experiences with those of their peers. My husband and I (mostly) held our ground, but there were times when it wasn’t easy. The unintended consequence of our steadfast commitment to frugality and prudence is a lot of laughter as we reminisce about it today.

Our kids are in their twenties now, and we are fortunate that they have remained in the same city and all four live relatively close by. That means we have frequent opportunities for casual gatherings and drop-ins at our house. These are almost always met with uproarious laughter and stories from their childhood, and they very often touch on how frugal we were.

My oldest remembers bringing Ziploc baggies of popcorn to the movies because we weren’t paying movie theater prices for snacks. I’m almost certain we only took them to movies on the “discount days,” and I vividly remember letting them pick out one box of candy from the store before we went. I suppose that wasn’t very ethical, but neither were the prices that movie theaters charged for their concessions.

We did have a zoo membership while our kids were little, so we went there often, but they knew we’d be packing our lunches and snacks rather than buying them there. Inevitably, on our way out of the zoo, our kids would want to stop in the gift shop. We agreed, but reminded them that we weren’t buying anything. That generally ended in tears and a grumpy ending to an otherwise wonderful day.

Every summer, our public library offered passes to local museums, historic sites, and parks if children read a certain number of books. Our kids knew the first week or two of summer meant reading a lot of books to earn the passes. Those passes meant “field trips” throughout the summer while not stretching the budget.

The one “field trip” that stands out was to Clifty Falls, a well-known waterfall about an hour from where we live. I was eager for everyone to see it after hearing so many amazing things from friends. My children’s eagerness was a bit lacking, but we loaded up the car on a very hot, humid summer day in the middle of a drought and drove to see “Big Clifty” anyhow. It turns out that visiting waterfalls during droughts is not ideal. There was not a drop of water to be seen, but plenty of complaining could be heard. At least it was free.

In another attempt to provide cheap entertainment for our children, this time during spring break, my husband and I planned inexpensive “staycation” activities. One day, we took them to an indoor arcade and bowling alley. After playing the various games for a few hours, they all got hungry for lunch. After looking over the concession prices, my husband decided to go down the street to the local Sam’s Club to buy a pizza for a fraction of the cost, and we ate in the back of our minivan before returning to the arcade games.

It wasn’t just entertainment and food where our frugality came into play. Once our kids started playing sports, they knew they wouldn’t be getting the $150 soccer cleats, $50 athletic shorts, or the $300 swimsuits their friends wore. We assured them that when their athletic performance reached the elite levels where those things matter, we would look into them. All of our kids were decent athletes. None were going pro or headed to the Olympics. The gear and attire from the sale racks would suffice.

I could go on reminiscing about the cheap basketballs from Five Below that didn’t last two weeks, the Walmart creek boots that got handed down year after year as feet grew, the “special” trips to McDonald’s to order one item off the dollar menu, or the standing, unspoken rule that water was the drink of choice at restaurants except on very special occasions. The list is long and likely not as funny to those of you who didn’t experience it firsthand. I promise you, our home was full of laughter more often than not.

As our kids got older and our financial situation stabilized, we did take them on amazing vacations that I never would have dreamed of going on as a kid. Our kids never lacked the necessities of a full and happy childhood, and they learned to appreciate the things they were given much more. More importantly, they have memories like the ones I shared here and hundreds more to incite raucous laughter and remind them that fun and happiness don’t have to cost a lot of money. In fact, money can sometimes rob you of the most fun and happy times you’ll have.