Reading · Bob Galen's Caregiving Journey

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This is the fourth and final post in my series on “The Caregivers’ Dilemma.” It’s that moment in time when you are confronted with whether to continue as the sole or primary caregiver for your loved one, or that you’ve run your race and you need either another primary caregiver, full-time help in your home (if you can afford it), or you need to place your loved one in a senior care facility.

It’s a dilemma that’s fraught with self-doubt, questioning, and guilt. It’s also one that many put off, sacrificing themselves for their loved ones.

In this series, I’m exploring aspects of it because I’m living it at the moment…

I read this LinkedIn post from Courtney Hogenson that I’ve pasted below in its entirety.

I’ve worked with families where one person quietly carries most of the caregiving.

They manage the appointments. The medications. The communication with doctors. The day-to-day decisions.

And rarely does anyone stop to ask a simple but critical question:
What happens if they can’t do it anymore?

This NPR article highlights something I see often in practice. Caregiving plans are usually built around the person receiving care, but not around the caregiver themselves.
https://www.npr.org/2026/03/28/nx-s1-5764324/family-caregiver-future-planning-help

Until something changes.

An illness. Burnout. A work conflict. Or simply the reality that caregiving isn’t sustainable at the same intensity forever.

When there’s no backup plan, families are left scrambling in already stressful moments.

Planning ahead doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does require honest conversations:

Who can step in?
What does the care actually involve?
Are expectations clear across the family?

Because caregiving isn’t just about today. It’s about what happens next.

Curious how others are seeing this.
Are families starting to plan for the “what if,” or are these conversations still happening too late?

I spoke about this in my two-part Where is the Backup series.

1. https://bgalen.substack.com/p/wheres-my-backup

2. https://bgalen.substack.com/p/wheres-my-backup-008

But I really feel that Courtney’s point, while valid, is underinvested.

Caregivers (care partners) are often hidden or invisible. Given that, it’s incredibly easy to forget about them. Both from the outside world and the care partner themselves.

I believe every good care plan needs an action plan for what happens if the care partner isn’t there, whether temporarily or permanently.

Answering questions like—

Who specifically (one person or facility) will replace them?
Do they understand the level of challenge/difficulty of the role? Have they already “signed up” for it?
Do they have the requisite medical and financial Powers of Attorney in place?
Do they have the contact, password, financial, medical, etc., information they need to operate as the primary care partner on day one?
Do they have the time, energy, and commitment for it?

Far too often, there are no answers to the above when the care partner is no longer there.

Are you and your care partners in this situation, folks?

If so, what are you going to do about it?

Take care of yourselves,

Bob.

What if the Caregiver is gone?

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