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Bert’s Substack · Jul 29, 2023

Magic 8 Ball 🎱

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Bert Chintez · Bert’s Substack

Title: **"Magic 8 Ball: Shakin' Up Destiny"**

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FADE IN:

INT. A RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

We see MAGIC 8 BALL, an anthropomorphic 8 ball with a tough exterior but a heart of gold. He speaks in AAVE, reflecting his roots and culture. He's just returned from a long day of being shaken for answers.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(sighs)

Man, these folks always wantin' answers. Ain't nobody askin' what I want.

---

Suddenly, his little sister, LITTLE CUE BALL, rolls into the room. She's innocent and looks up to her big brother.

---

LITTLE CUE BALL

(excited)

Big Bro, tell me a story!

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(smiles)

Alright, lil' sis. Once upon a time...

---

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

The classroom is in chaos. Students are frantically searching for something.

---

LUCY

(panicked)

Where's Magic 8 Ball? We need him for the probability presentation!

---

TYLER

(confused)

He's always here. Where could he be?

---

CUT BACK TO:

INT. RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball finishes his story. Little Cue Ball is fast asleep. He looks at her lovingly and then at a picture of their parents.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(to himself)

I gotta make things better for us.

---

FAST FORWARD TO:

INT. COLLEGE ADMISSIONS OFFICE - DAY

Magic 8 Ball is now in front of the stern-looking ADMISSIONS OFFICER. He's nervous but determined.

---

ADMISSIONS OFFICER

(raised eyebrow)

Why should we admit an... 8 ball?

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(resolute)

'Cause I ain't just any 8 ball, ma'am. I'm a symbol of chance, of destiny. But I'm here to show that we ain't just what the world sees us as. We got dreams, we got voices. Affirmative action ain't just about lettin' us in. It's about hearin' us out.

---

The Admissions Officer looks taken aback. Magic 8 Ball leaves the office, leaving a trail of stunned silence.

---

FADE IN:

INT. RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball is pacing around the room, his mind racing. He's been disrespected one too many times and he's had enough.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(angry)

Enough is enough. It's time to shake things up.

---

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball is seen causing chaos in the city. He's defacing billboards, disrupting traffic, and causing a general ruckus. His actions are bold, reckless, and unhinged.

---

CUT TO:

INT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO - DAY

A NEWS ANCHOR is reporting on the chaos caused by Magic 8 Ball. His face is plastered on the screen with the headline "CITY IN CHAOS: MAGIC 8 BALL ON THE LOOSE."

---

NEWS ANCHOR

(shocked)

The city is in a state of panic as the Magic 8 Ball continues his reign of terror. Authorities are on high alert...

---

CUT TO:

INT. RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball returns home, his face a mix of triumph and guilt. Little Cue Ball is awake, her eyes wide with fear and confusion.

---

LITTLE CUE BALL

(scared)

Big Bro, why are they saying you're a bad guy?

---

Magic 8 Ball looks at his sister, his heart breaking. He's become an outlaw, but at what cost?

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(teary-eyed)

I... I just wanted to make things right, lil' sis.

---

FADE IN:

EXT. RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

A fleet of National Guard vehicles surround the apartment. PRESIDENT OBAMA JR., a charismatic leader with a stern expression, is overseeing the operation.

---

PRESIDENT OBAMA JR.

(resolute)

We need to end this chaos. Capture the Magic 8 Ball.

---

INT. RUN-DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball and Little Cue Ball are huddled together. The sound of boots approaching grows louder.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(scared)

Stay behind me, lil' sis.

---

Suddenly, the door bursts open. A massive shootout ensues. Magic 8 Ball manages to escape through a back window, but Little Cue Ball is not so lucky. She's captured.

---

EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball, now on the run, looks back at his home one last time. His heart is filled with anger and guilt.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(furious)

Obama Jr., you're gonna pay for this.

---

FADE IN:

INT. SECRET HIDEOUT - NIGHT

Magic 8 Ball has President Obama Jr. tied up, hanging over a large, bubbling pot. The atmosphere is tense.

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(evil laugh)

You thought you could take away my lil' sis and get away with it, huh?

---

PRESIDENT OBAMA JR.

(defiant)

You won't get away with this, Magic 8 Ball!

---

MAGIC 8 BALL

(smiling)

Oh, I think I will.

---

Magic 8 Ball slowly lowers Obama Jr. into the pot. The room fills with the aroma of a delicious stew.

---

CUT TO:

INT. OBAMA III'S DINING ROOM - DAY

Obama III, a young and naive boy, is sitting at the dining table. A WAITER serves him a bowl of stew.

---

WAITER

(sly smile)

Compliments of the chef, sir.

---

Obama III takes a spoonful of the stew, oblivious to its origin. Magic 8 Ball, disguised as a waiter, watches from a distance, a satisfied smile on his face.

---

FADE OUT:

TO BE CONTINUED...

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