I’ve gained more weight, again

Hello my dear gorgeous friend,

Before I dive into this story I want to acknowledge that I’ve not been around as much as I like to be. Listen, perimenopause is kicking my butt! I am myself 20/30 days. Those remaining 10/30 days are full of emergy draining frustration. This is why I have gone back to TikTok (more.than.a.belly - it has become, once again, easier to just do a quick video when inspired so the ideas are not festering inside for too long, which also exhausts me. Anyhow, don’t give up on me (lol) as I am really trying not to give up on all this that feeds my soul and hopefully feeds or inspires yours too.

In March I posted Am I preaching body positivity but losing weight myself? where I shared that I had lost some weight. Well, here I am, 9 months later to say that I’ve gained it all back and probably more.

Am I sad? No.

Am I disappointed? No.

Am I ashamed? No.

Why am I even sharing this with you? That is a good question! Probably because, just like in the original story I am once again feeling like a hypocrite.

Iin my last post I’ve gone all out talking about eating when hungry and stopping when full, selling myself and you on the idea because I know it works. It did work, but also, life had different plans. I started experiencing symptoms of perimenopause, school started and kids need help with reading, there were a few huge projects back to back at work, and we spent a month traveling. Basically, life has taken over and the routine I had around eating when hungry and stopping when full has died a quick death. Of course it has -.my new way of thinking about eating and food has not been around long enough to become a default that cannot be shaken by life. Am I going to sit here thinking how great it would have been if I did things differently? In the past I would have romanticised and ruminensed and felt regret and guilt, but now I know better. This time I am not beating myself up. It didn’t work. O well,.life happens and things don’t work out.

To be honest this is new and strange to me - I am used to carrying a wip around and making sure I do what I say I’ll do, and do it darn well or die trying. But, I’ve noticed that is not working out so well for me, so I am changing my strategy. Instead, I am learning to take things slow. One at a time. I have no clue what will happen next - no answer, and definitely no right answer, and that in itself is something I am learning to live with.