A never ending Summer

In the summer holidays time stands still. We’re in the third month of ‘making it work’ now and its safe to say that IT and I are not working. Newsletters remain unwritten, Instagram content is suspended in time in a notes app entry called ‘ideas.’ Any work I’ve completed this month was done in the week I spent in Scotland with my parents and the week I spent in Mallorca without the kids.

I have come to understand that I cannot work when the kids are in the house, and I cannot play when I am thinking about work. I am all or nothing. In or out. In the liminal spaces I’m paralysed.

I have noticed that I feel much less troubled by my children interrupting me when I’m reading than when I’m on my phone so I’ve powered up my wretched kindle. I much prefer to turn a page. I read Sarah Wynn Williams’s brilliant book about the years she worked at Facebook (now Meta) and its made me even more adamant about cutting down my screen time. Now, before I go anywhere, I ask myself ‘do you need your phone for this?’ The answer is almost always no. My phone has become a security blanket and a crutch. I carry it around the house from room to room like a hideous pet. I clutch it in my sweaty paw on dog walks. I wait for its seductive buzz to pull me out of whatever game I’ve committed to playing with my children. I now deliberately leave it in another room.