For most of my life, I lived in a country with perhaps a not uncommon distribution of wealth, some very wealthy, some on the breadline, and everything in between.
I lived in a part of the country that was the richest mile of the continent. There was no shortage of highly pricey motor cars owned by people whose salaries did not always justify the expense of owning such a vehicle.
Some years ago, when entertaining a business associate from abroad, she remarked, “What with all these cars [she named the mid- to -high end make]. I was at a loss to answer her in any intelligent way, but I often thought about her remark and wondered what indeed is with all these cars, this display of affluence that was disproportionate to the kind of money the owner actually had.
On a different note, I recall various celebrations done in the grandest style. That one particular event might have been the only ‘big’ event in that person’s social calendar for the year intrigued me. So much time, energy, effort and expense went into planning and executing that event. It was, nevertheless, just lovely, and an event that so many people who were not even directly involved so enjoyed being a part of.
For me, on my annual birthday and for the birthdays of less than a handful of others, I went to town. Everything was celebrated in the grandest style. And it was awesome, and special, and there was never any question that the event would be executed in any other way. Grand style. Memorable.
From time to time, though, I recall wondering about how we place so much emphasis on just one thing or spend so much money on just one thing, e.g., a high-end vehicle, the large house, the expensive furniture. Were we compensating for the lack of something in other areas of our lives – in the case of living in a particular country: freedom in the sense of lack of safety; far fewer opportunities for socializing than one minds in many other countries, and so on.
Having emigrated some years ago to this beautiful country that offers me everything I could ever wish for, by virtue of just being here when I celebrate, the fulfilment of the “grand style” comes from living in this beautiful country.
I guess I am saying that there comes a time and stage in one’s life where the bells and whistles are not what we thought they were. The bells and whistles in a different form come from an environment or even a relationship, which more or less eliminates the need for other types of bells and whistles.
In my view, if one finds fulfilment living in a particular country or in a particular relationship – not happiness that is momentary; fulfilment that is longer-lasting, the need for extraneous bells and whistles really diminishes.
This is not to say that bells and whistles are no longer desired, no longer part of one’s journey through life. It just means that the nature of those bells and whistles changes.
Thanks for reading.
XMBP 23.7.2026
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