Tending the Soil — Lesson 3

Hi everyone,

I can’t believe we’re already at our final lesson. Over the last two weeks, we’ve looked at what anxiety does to our writing habits, and how to tell a hard story without forcing ourselves to face the worst parts all at once.

Today, we’re looking at the last piece of the puzzle: how to close the notebook without carrying the weight of your words into the rest of your day.

The other day I was looking back at my old journals, and I realized how many times I used writing as a way to punish myself. I would sit down, tear open a heavy thought, and bleed all over the page until I felt sick. Then I’d just snap the book closed and immediately try to force myself to be a normal human being who makes dinner, talks to family, and folds the laundry.

But it never worked. I would walk around my kitchen feeling completely raw, irritable, and dizzy, wondering why my chest still felt so tight if I had just “vented” everything out.

I was giving myself a massive emotional hangover.

We think that just because we closed the cover, our bodies know the heavy stuff is over. But your body doesn’t know the difference between the memory you just wrote about and the room you are currently standing in. If you don’t take a second to tell yourself that you are safe and done writing, you end up walking into your afternoon carrying all that shaky, frantic energy with you.

The whole point of putting it in a notebook is so you don’t have to carry it anymore. The book can hold it. You just need to learn how to put the weight down and leave it there.

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