Being gentle, taking space, and releasing expectations — BEAU SOCIETY issue #094

Lately, I’ve observed that so many people around me — both readers of this letter and close friends — are very keen on working on themselves. I’ve always found personal growth super inspiring, and maybe it’s the new mom in me, but I’ve never been more eager to set a good example of what taking space, exploring behavioral patterns, setting boundaries, and standing up for yourself looks like.

This week, I observed a friend set a beautiful and healthy boundary for herself. Before what will be a very emotional milestone in her life, she took the time to set up the specific circumstances she will need to feel supported and loved. I found her foresight and self-awareness incredibly admirable.

She inspired me to ask all of you to write in about a recent emotional situation and how you got through it. I’ve always wanted BS to be a safe space where we all share, respond, learn, and grow together through our experiences. Here’s what some of you have learned recently…

In the following stories, we’ve used first initials to maintain anonymity.

D learned how to be gentle when anxiety creeps in:

“A few weeks ago, I traveled from Mexico City to my grandmother’s hometown to help take care of her while she attended medical appointments and received treatment. Before the trip, I had been exercising regularly and eating healthier, so I felt really good about the progress I was making. Once I got here, though, being away from my normal routine made me anxious about food. My grandmother loves cooking traditional homemade meals, and I found myself constantly thinking about calories and worrying that I was undoing all of my progress. I became so overwhelmed that I cried and even panicked over the idea of gaining weight.”

I opened up to my friends and family about how I was feeling, and their support really helped. They reminded me that my weight will naturally fluctuate throughout my life, but the time I get to spend with my grandmother is something | can’t get back. That made me realize I didn’t want anxiety about food to take away from such a meaningful experience. I’ve been trying to enjoy the meals she lovingly prepares and appreciate the time we’re sharing together. Shifting my focus from calories to making memories has helped me feel much calmer and more present. Looking back, I realized that most of those fears were coming from my anxiety rather than from reality.”

K learned how to make space to reconnect:

I am a teacher, and after school was out, I felt myself getting annoyed with my husband who works from home. I felt myself getting angry with him but couldn’t really express what I was feeling because I knew he would stress about annoying me. It just kept building.

I traveled to see my sister. She helped put things into perspective, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. I felt at ease when I got back and loved that we instantly connected when I got home.”

A learned to let go of other people’s expectations:

“I’ve been planning my wedding, and I recently realized I was letting everyone else’s opinions influence my decisions instead of choosing what my fiancé and I actually wanted. The biggest disagreement was over our wedding cake because we chose a close family friend who has made all of my fiancé’s birthday cakes for years and also creates beautiful wedding cakes. Some of my family strongly preferred a more well-known bakery and were upset when I stood by our decision. It was stressful because I wanted everyone to be happy, but I realized this was an important moment to prioritize what felt right for us instead of trying to please everyone else.”

I talked it through with my fiancé, and he reminded me that our wedding is about celebrating our relationship, not meeting everyone else’s expectations. Taking a step back helped me realize that the people who truly care about us will remember the love and joy of the day, not where the cake came from. That conversation gave me the confidence to trust our decisions and focus on what feels meaningful to us.”

Thank you all for sharing these stories! I loved reading them and learning how you’ve handled recent challenges — so often with grace, compassion, and mindfulness. I’d love to share more of these stories with you in upcoming issues.

TO READ: “My mom was a 90s mom with four kids… and she napped every afternoon”

TO SHOP: Everything you need for any dressy summer occasion.

TO LISTEN TO: How to find your purpose and live a meaningful life.

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “Changing your mind is the best way to change your life.” -Yung Pueblo

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Danielle’s response to A complete summer dinner party menu.

“Currently dying of heat and would destroy the heck out of those dishes! They sound refreshing right about now! 🤤 Thanks for the inspiration!” -Danielle (MBS)