Talkin' Tour

Tour time is about adapting. Abandoning plans you made ahead of time that seemed incredibly reasonable (smart even!). Letting go.

This is my perspective as the “rock wife with young daughter” who goes on the road to spend time with my husband while he bops around on stage most nights for a month.

There I am in my bunk.

I had these foolish ideas in my head that because this wasn’t a Lou Barlow solo or Sebadoh or Folk Implosion tour, there would be time every day (every day lolololol) for a touristy “outing”. Dinosaur Jr tour time in my (clearly fuzzy) memory meant lots of downtime where we would be free to catch ubers to fun museums and touristy spots.

I’m going to take Izzy somewhere new and exciting in every city every day!

Folks. Friends. This is utterly ridiculous thinking. Dumb dumb. Not possible. Super silly. The realities became quite clear on day one as I started the tour on a major sleep deficit. Izzy and I had an early morning (6am) flight at the Hartford Airport. Which means we were still frantically overpacking the night before, taking late night showers so we would be “clean” the next day and collapsing in bed around midnight. Waking up at 3am because a certain 10 year old insisted (and was correct) that she would need a bowl of Special K and lots of time to get ready as she would be very sleepy and slow moving at such an hour.

I was beyond groggy and yes, getting Izzy her Special K realizing I still needed to get my super heavy, totally bursting (literally) at the zippers suitcases down the stairs, out of the house, hoisted up into the back of our minivan all while thinking about my newly discovered arthritis between the 5th and 6th vertebrae of my spine that has been contributing to my hands going totally numb and a super fun ache all over my upper back, hoping/praying that these actions won’t further damage my damage. Drive an hour to Connecticut hoping/praying a deer doesn’t leap in front of the minivan while fumbling with Apple carplay to make sure Taylor is locked and loaded keeping Izzy happy and singing the whole way. Roll into our favorite long term parking, wait for the shuttle, get the shuttle sandwiched with other groggy folks and finally deposit at Delta. Two flights with a 3 hour layover in Atlanta and FINALLY! Izzy and I arrived in Asheville to join the Dinosaur Jr/Band of Horses tour on Lou’s actual 60th birthday.

I took a shower at the venue when we arrived and promptly covered my entire body in black fuzz as I dried myself off. The venue was new and so were the towels (which is cool-except) they were not pre-washed and my newly clean body was comically covered in towel lint. I tried to use paper towels to wipe off all the lint as best I could while feeling worried that I was hogging a bathroom for too long. I worry about so many things! I was worried I’d used too many of the paper towels to wipe myself off (would there be enough for everyone else tonight??).

Remember when I started this post I was talking about adapting and letting go? The real nitty gritty of touring quickly becomes reality even when you travel on a bus. If you want to survive you have to adapt. That means you (and the 10 year old) stay up late every night and sleep in late. In the hours between waking and soundcheck/dinner/show, the idea of going somewhere besides the backstage or just hanging on the bus feels completely undoable. You are tired, you most likely haven’t pooped in a day or two (you can’t poop on the bus folks!), you are hungry, wondering what the situation is for food that day, will the backstage have a shower (will that shower be nasty or nice?), are we in a neighborhood with a coffee shop or are we on the outskirts of town in a big parking lot? Etc Etc. You become primarily concerned with those basics.

I also realized Izzy was perfectly happy to just stay in the bubble. I worried that she would be bored and needing something “interesting” to keep her happy on the road. My pre-tour planning quickly melted away and I allowed myself to just enjoy being together. We spent time hanging out with our friends in Band of Horses, playing lots of bananagrams, roaming around the venues, snacking on dried mango from the tour rider, cuddling BOH tour dog Hoss, sketching (Izzy), mending a sweater (me), and taking it all one day at a time.

I talk about the tour on our most recent podcast episode, click that picture, it’s a link!

Here is another link to listen..

We were out with Lou and company for 10 days. 8 show days and 2 days off. We got our tourist itch scratched on the days off! Worked out perfectly and it felt completely sufficient. Our dear friend Bobby Bare Jr took us to the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville (where his daddy Bobby Bare is inducted!) and then we had a day in Jackson, Michigan where Lou spent his childhood.

I feel really fortunate for our 10 days together. It was a beautiful mix of worry, fatigue, constipation, beauty, joy and lots of laughter. If that’s my life, I’ll take it. Again and again..

with love,

Adelle