I want to go for a swim.

I don’t want to write today.

But I’m doing what I said I was going to because it feels better to do that than to not write.

I wonder how to see the blind spots.

Are they blind spots if I can see them?

And do they ever end?

If all of this all of this observation, experimentation, reflection is meant so that I better understand myself and how I situate myself within the world… how I come to know my own personal truth rather than the “truths” I’ve been told… where does it stop?

Is any of it even necessary or important?

Would it be a better more pleasurable use of my time to just not think at all?

To not create at all?

Yes I fulfill my potential by seeing what I can do.

But what if I too can fulfill my potential by seeing what I don’t do.

What I can say no to.

Choose for myself.

I really just want to be.

I don’t need to create.

I don’t need to make a difference.

I don’t need to shift the world into a higher more loving dimension through my effort.

What if I can do that by rejecting it all.

I feel a lump in my throat and an opening in my heart that also feels like fear.

I feel a bit high too but I’m not.

I feel I feel I feel.

I think I think I think.

Who fucking cares.

I want to go for a swim, I think.

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