It’s July 29, 2026, and a new dispatch is in hand, and hopefully, a public reckoning for the evil Dr. Fauci.
BREAKING: FAUCI PLEADS THE FIFTH, DESPITE PARDON
"Wait! Someone had a fifth and didn’t share?” asked Kamala Harris
Dr. Fauci Faces Sen. Rand Paul and Hopefully the Music
Dr. Anthony Fauci, or as we now call him Dr. Diary, since Dr. Death is already taken, is supposed to be testifying today on Capitol Hill in front of Senator and Doctor Rand Paul’s Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.
Sen. Rand Paul will be grilling him like a Nathan’s weiner.
Fauci is such a snake he’ll be testifying from the reptile exhibit at the National Zoo.
He’s expected to claim the diary entries are actually Russian disinformation, put in after Putin hacked HHS.
What happens if Fauci just leans back and says, “Yeah. All True. And not a damn thing you can do about it, Curly”?
”What do you have to say to the families of those whose loved ones died alone because of your BS policies?” “Barbra Streisand is nicer in person than you think.”
Serious question: How is what Fauci did not a crime against humanity? Like Creedence Clearwater Revival never having a number one hit.
Fauci boasted that someone said he was sexier than supermodel Tyra Banks. Well, if you have a fetish for megalomaniacal trolls.
Fauci loved himself so much he could take a stalking order out on his shadow.
Fauci talks about accidentally butt dialing both Barbra Streisand and Jane Fonda. Does anybody actually think those calls were accidental? Sure. And Streisand will be the opening act at the next Turning Point conference.
Will any of the celebrities and media types who fawned over Fauci admit they blew it? That he makes them look like idiots now? Shouldn’t they be angry? Shouldn’t Fonda want to borrow one of those Chinese tanks from her Hanoi Jane days and run the little sucker over?
One Thing to Keep in Mind: These Were Not “Private Diaries.” As HHS Secretary Robert Kennedy Jr., Noted, “These were not personal journals. They were government records created on a government computer by a federal employee during one of the most consequential public health emergencies in history.”
And somehow the “greatest scientist” on earth didn’t know they’d be public records?
Fauci shouldn’t be in a mask. He should be in a dunce cap.
Media is Pretty Much Ignoring the Revelations in Fauci’s Diaries
As Rand Paul said: “The same mainstream media that demanded we all trust the science can’t bring themselves to report what their favorite scientist wrote in his own diary. I wonder why.”
Wait. I think I know this one.
The 2020 Fix. In Fauci’s Diaries We Find Indications, and Certainly a Desire, That Fauci Wanted His Big Pharma Pals to Delay Announcing They’d Come Up With a Vaccination to Hurt Trump’s Chances of Re-Election
And let’s be real: Had it been announced before the election, rather than a few days after, Trump likely would have won 2020, cheating and all. And who benefitted? The guy who ended up issuing Fauci a blanket pardon.
No doubt a coincidence. Like Hunter Biden itching to be Ambassador to Colombia.
Speaking of Biden … The Audio Tapes Biden From the Robert Hur Investigation Fought to Keep From the American People Have Been Made Public
They show Biden truly was such a vegetable his Secret Service code name should have been Green Giant.
Sen. Jon Ossof Spent More on Makeup Than AOC and Rashida Thalib
According to federal campaign records, Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff has spent more this year on makeup services than anyone in Congress, including AOC and Rashida Thalib.
However, Thalib spent far more on saving cream and razors.
However, Mitch McConnell has spent more on embalming fluid.
Trump Met With Volodymyr Zelenskyy at White House Tuesday
Trump says the meeting “went well.” Of course, anything better than Zelenskyy being tossed out on his butt qualifies as “went well.”
Mamdani Announces His City-Run Grocery Stores Will Offer 30% Discounts on Food Staples
We saw how that works in the Soviet Union. Soon New York’s slogan will be “The City That Never Eats.” Well, unless you’re part of the communist elite.
Cracker Barrel CEO Stops Down After Epic Failure to Rebrand
I don’t want to say Julie Felss Masinos attempt to rebrand was a failure, but the company is thinking of changing its name to Bud Light.
You know who’s feeling good? The guy who a few decades ago said, “Hey, let’s change the formula for Coke!”
Masinos tried to remove all the homey charm from Cracker Barrel. You might as well remove chicken from KFC.
Where can I get a job where I’m paid a fortune for a couple years, can screw up the place, and walk away rich?
And that’s that for today.
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