I can still remember the first time I heard his laugh thirteen years ago. Booming, pure, effortless joy! It’s quite a thing! It spills into the corners of any room, and then somehow makes its way into the corners of my heart.
Since our first unlikely and quite epic meeting (I’ve posted about it in Notes previously), we’ve made a lot together. Feature films, short films, even a music video. We’ve walked through family loss and triumph. Through career curveballs. Through red carpets and hard conversations. Through the highest of highs. And every time, David Oyelowo has shown up with his full heart.
When he speaks, I listen. When I speak, he listens. When we disagree — and we have — it’s always with respect, with care, with love. We never stop rooting for each other. Ever.
To me, David is both a rock and a soft place to land. A rare combination. A true brother.
Give a listen to his answer to the OFF BOOK question. Perhaps it will inspire you to think about your own.
Onward!
Ava
Hi everybody. So Ava asked me to communicate what I am OFF BOOK about. I am now finally off book about the fact that relinquishing control of the things that you cannot control is where freedom lies, especially as an artist.
When I was younger, I held on too tight. I wanted to be able to control my circumstances, my future, my creative endeavors, my creative relationships.
But what I now realize is you do the work. The difference, in my opinion, between good and great is hard work. You do the work. You do everything you can. You try to be the best artist you can.
But at some point, you've just got to let go and recognize that no, when you get that no, it doesn't necessarily always mean no. Sometimes it means not yet. And that not yet can be a blessing because the no's tend to create the path towards your yes.
Not everyone is going to get the same yes. Not everyone needs the same yes. Not everyone's destiny is the same yes. So comparing yourself to other people is another pitfall I think we fall into. And that again is to do with control.
So I am finally, 25 odd years into my career, very clear on the fact that relinquishing control when you've done everything you can, is where freedom lives.
-David
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