A question most pairs of people never ask themselves is:
“What does safety look like and feel like to this person I’m paired up with?”
For someone with the Moon in Cancer natally, safety might mean staying close, a quiet hug, and talking it through when they’ve rested and recovered some of their nervous system stress.
For someone with the Moon in Aquarius, safety might be having the space and freedom to think before they’re ready to reconnect.
Put this Cancer Moon and Aquarius Moon together in a couple and you might have one Aquarian-ish individual who comes off cold and dissociative to the gentle Cancer Moon, and the water-y Cancer person may seem too-soft and weak to the analytical Aquarian type. Each Moon type has very VERY different needs for R & R!
Neither person is wrong of course, but if you don’t know this fundamental difference about each other, every conflict can become a test on whether you care, love or are invested in the other person’s happiness.
I see this CONSTANTLY in relationship readings: two people love each other, but they’re stuck in a broken feedback loop, in which one person’s attempt at meeting their own needs feels like abandonment or cruelty to the other. This misunderstanding exists in all kinds of relationships: romantic couples, business couples, and my personal obsession, parent-child pairings. And the misunderstanding is avoidable and very much heal-able.
The astrology chart can show you how the people you love need to be nurtured. All of a sudden behaviors that upset you can look very different, common sensical and quite beautiful. We can discover that some of the conflict we have is coming from a distorted idea of others’ behaviors.
Below is a little about what different Moon signs need. Keep in mind, a person is a complex, intricate dance between SO many expressive needs- the Moon is just one key piece. Your Venus shows what feels like love and how you receive/attract. Your Mars shows how you move towards desire or away from threats. I’ll touch on some of that in weeks to come, as well as in the Q & A sessions (for paid members- there was only ONE person at last week’s Q&A so this lucky paid member got a whole hour to herself! Basically a $395 reading for $11...you’d be wise to join The Eleven ASAP because when I said “I plan to over-give in this community” I meant it. Happily.)
To receive deep 1:1 astrology attention monthly, and breathwork twice per month, consider becoming paid subscriber. I’m offering something that should cost 8x as much. For now, I’d be so happy to grow this community & support you for a cheap & cheerful price. xo
What You Need To Know About Your Special Person’s Moon Sign:
Aries Moon: They need to feel like they won something regularly. Independent play, physical challenges, healthy competition. Their intensity is aliveness & it turns into aggression when it’s pent up, unexpressed, for too long. Let them “run it out.” Honor their warrior nature.
Taurus Moon: Routine, stability, comfort and predictability is what soothes these “peaceful animals.” Expected rhythms in food/sleep/schedules, comfortable environments, and unhurried transitions are how they feel safe enough to open up. Stubbornness and resistance to change is a stress response. Honor their simple, straightforward, natural needs.
Gemini Moon: They process emotions by talking through them, often while they’re still figuring out what they feel. When they interrupt you, they are expressing interest and excitement, not rudeness. Let them be curious, all-over-the-place, mental bounce houses. The conversation is medicine. Distraction is natural to a point with this Moon, but chronic debilitating distraction is a stress response. What they’re after is an open mind filled with interesting data!
Cancer Moon: They absorb the emotional temperature of every room. A very sensitive Moon sign. What looks like a shut-down reaction to you is often just a reaction to too much everything. They need to feel emotionally contained before they can let their guard down. When allowed to quiet down, decompress, and feel nurtured, these Moon types are the world’s best healers and care takers, as well as warm, nurturing leaders.
Leo Moon: They need to feel genuinely seen and heard. Praise is what they think they want, but being truly witnessed and experienced is what really matters to this Moon’s flourishing. When they feel invisible they get LOUD and demanding. “Diva” applies if they are not expressing what’s in their heart for others’ to appreciate. The Leo Moon gift to others IS their heart expression- it’s magical for all, both Leo Moon and the audience receiving the expressive gifts. When they feel truly seen, they are unmatchably warm and giving.
Virgo Moon: They show love through helping and doing. Putting in their ten thousand hours so others can benefit. Honor their contributions, however small. Your feedback matters more than you’d think, so know that criticism lands hard on this Moon type. If these Moons are encouraged to not doubt themselves and validated that their “good enough” is closer to anyone’s perfect, they will become the world’s best teachers and mentors.
Libra Moon: They will tie themselves in knots trying to keep everyone happy. A decent amount of stress can be the result of too much me give-you need- you give-me nee… so much mental back-and-forth can exhaust these people-pleasing Moon types. One of the kindest things you can do is make it safe for them to say what they actually want, without worrying about disappointing you. And supporting their deep spiritual need for beauty all around them.
Scorpio Moon: They sense when something’s off before anyone else senses it. (Great lie detectors too.) What they need most is honesty and no-frills direct truth, otherwise they’ll spend a lot of their energy suspicious and digging for it. Building trust is everything to them, and once it’s been broken it takes real time to rebuild. These Moon types are the world’s best detectives and psychologists- in this way their is deep healing sensitivity to be honored in this person.
Sagittarius Moon: They need to have big, wide experiences. Quests. They believe life is going somewhere, and preferably the “destination” is an endless horizon of possibility. Boredom and stagnation hit them harder than most. Keep pointing toward the horizon toward the unfamiliar: the next trip, the next adventure, the next thing to study deeply, the next big idea… These Moon types inspire us all with their enthusiasm, energy and optimism.
Capricorn Moon: These are the wise old soul elder types. Even as children. When stressed they go quiet, stoic, ever-capable. They can look distant and cold, but it’s actually them holding everything together, themselves together. They need permission to not be okay sometimes, and they need some high-quality alone time. Because they’re so enduring and determined, these Moon types need something big to be up against- it’s extremely fulfilling for them to play a long game.
Aquarius Moon: They need to feel interesting and unique to you, not just loved. Engage in their wacky ideas. Encourage their out-of-the-box genius. Take their unconventional thinking seriously. They see the future before we do- they are the innovators who look strange at first to the normal people, but it turns out they saw the tides turning. Being understood matters, and being understood means honoring their freedom-seeking and weirdness.
Pisces Moon: They feel everything, often without knowing where it came from. They don’t need you to fix it or explain it away, but they might be helped to know some of their feelings are coming from other people and sources. They are intuitive antennas and if you can you to stay present while they find their way back to themselves, they’ll feel very anchored by you. These are the artists and the dreamers and the shape-shifters who show us what compassion looks like in action in the world.
I would love if you shared this post with someone you think might like this Moon topic! 🌝
When you know your partner’s natal astrology, you can stop taking their necessary processing so personally. It’s liberating and a real gift for each person in any partnership!
If you’re in a relationship that feels harder than it should be, start here: what does your Moon need when you’re stressed? What does theirs need when they are stressed? BTW, in case you’re curious about my depth of knowledge or commitment to understanding partnership, I teach “Relationship Astrology” to aspiring professional astrologers- it truly is one of my primary passions.
This next month, I’m focusing on helping parents start to understand their kids’ charts through free 15-minute readings, but if you want to explore relationship dynamics in any context, either reply to this email or book a free call here to chat with me.
xAubrey
Important Dates:
Breakthrough Breathwork:
March 28th : 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
April 18th: 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
May 2nd: 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
May 16th: 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
Ask Aubrey: Q&A
(Bring your natal chart — or make one here.)
April 9th: 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
May 7th: 5 PM EST / 2 PM PST
**ZOOM LINKS POSTED IN THE SUBSTACK CHAT FOR PAID MEMBERS THE DAY BEFORE THE EVENT.
If You're Curious About More:
Free Parent-Child Mini Reading: Curious what your child’s chart reveals? I’m offering free mini-readings for parents right now. Book here.
Natal Chart Readings: New to evolutionary astrology? A full reading is where it all begins. Book here.
Follow-Up Readings: If we’ve worked together before and you’re ready to look at what’s current, I’d love to support you with wherever you are now. Book here.
Free Discovery Call: If longer-term coaching feels like it might be the right fit, come have a conversation first. No pressure, just a casual chat. Book here.
If this newsletter is something you enjoy, sharing it with one person you think would appreciate it means the world. This community grows best by word of mouth, and I’m genuinely trying to build something worth belonging to.
And if you’ve been on the fence about joining The Eleven, it’s $11 a month. Breathwork 2x month, personal astrology Q&A, weekly guidance, a whole community is what we’re growing here. I wanted it to be a real yes for people, not a financial stretch. Feedback welcome! xo
Nothing but love and gratitude for you. 🩵
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.