To Meat Or Not

Sometime ago the question of my child eating meat came up with a few friends. I chose to stay silent then, as I usually do. Like Derek Sivers, I am a slow thinker. I often do not know how to justify my stance till I write it down. Or for that matter even know what my position is unless I have chewed on it for a few days, in this case, months. This is an attempt at thinking through my attitudes towards vegetarianism.

If you would like a tl;dr version of what I am going to say, it is this: my position on this subject can be explained by three things - mater, ethical obligations, and ownership of cultural heirlooms.

I was born in a family that’s vegetarian. We never ate meat, and in school I don’t ever recall anyone bringing meat. As a child it never occurred me to question this state of affairs. During my early teens, as I rebelled against my family values, vegetarianism, God, and rituals were first to fall. I tasted meat for the first time in college. I didn’t like it. I tasted it a few times after that. One time, it was at Iftar at the end of Ramadan in Fraser Town, Bangalore. This was on Mosque Road, famous for its kababs. I only remember the rubbery feeling in my mouth now but I believe I could have eventually acquired the taste for it, as it has so been with alcohol. That’s not where I ended up though. An important reason was while the rejection of God and rituals did not bother my mother too much, eating the meat of animals most certainly would have. I did not want to cause her much pain. I was always very close to her, and I did not have it in me to push all her buttons. Was that a cop out? After all these years it’s hard for me to tell.

What did eventually happen was I started to think hard about ethical considerations. What moral obligations do I have towards other humans? Why should I not extend it to other species? I do not want to unnecessarily hurt others or visit undue violence upon them. Do animals feel pain? Many undoubtedly do. That conveniently ruled out meat. What about insects such as mosquitoes? As you can see, this soon becomes a slippery slope. A reasonable line seemed to me that my survival doesn't depend on consuming meat, most of which today comes from factories with animals in miserable conditions. This I decided was a foundational virtue and I had to stick with it. A commitment to something, anything, was worth pursuing, an anchor for the self in a meaningless world. So I told myself. I did not make any attempt to aggressively police my friends and evangelize this position. Everyone should workout for themselves the sort of life they want to lead. Also, why be more disagreeable than necessary?

Over the past few years, another reason for vegetarianism slowly emerged. It seemed to me that my family’s particular way of being was constantly under attack, in media, literature, pop culture, academia. The word Brahmanism has been made a shibboleth, a marker of the worst qualities a Hindu could possess, as something that liberal modernity must oppose. So being one or partaking in the old religion means one is a fascist, oppressor, a supporter of patriarchy and such. I found this highly objectionable, considering the examples I have before me - my parents, my mother in particular, and the women in my family in general. They are all devout Hindus, and engaged in rituals. They are also modern in their own way. My mother was a scientist with ISRO. My aunt, a banker. Another aunt a lecturer of English literature. All very capably fused their modernity with ancient obligations. I have never heard them utter anything distasteful about other jatis or religions. They are engaged only in carrying out what they perceive as their religious obligations, many of which are tied to their subcaste. Why should this bother anyone at all? My mother provided for the education of all our maid’s children. I do not know what the maid’s caste is, and neither does my mother. My mother’s closest friend is a Muslim. I cannot reconcile her attitude and religious outlook with the aspersions cast on Tamil Brahmins in current zeitgeist - that they are close-minded, power hungry, hypocritical etc. Some no doubt are, but that accusation is also true for a large portion of mankind. As a matter of fact, central to modernity is the rejection of the idea that folks are responsible for the alleged crimes of their forebears.

I now felt obliged to defend the faith of my ancestors. It bothered me that I had been rejecting a way of life without deeply engaging with it, a way that I know many people have found meaning in. This chain of unbroken association with a particular cultural episteme, I did not want to end with me. Every generation negotiates their particular culture with modernity, or these days, postmodernity. My parents’ did, knowingly or not. I have to as well, without resorting to the default, which is abandoning it. Part of this process is a renewed commitment to vegetarianism, but also some way of accommodating the traditional rituals whilst in the busyness of the New World, far away from the homeland.

I think of vegetarianism, and associated cultural practices as heirlooms. My friend has a heirloom as well, her grandmother’s saree. She could have sold it, ignored it or given it away. She chose to keep it, but not wear it. It has been beautifully framed and occupies the pride of place in her hallway. Similarly, I have no intention of abandoning my heritage. I may modify it to suit my current circumstances, but I am going to keep it and pass it on to my children. The way to frame cultural values is by living them. At least a thousand years it has stood, and I feel a moral duty to practice it.

Children will eventually do as they like. I know I did. Parents can have a large impact on children's outcomes however. Some of it is genetic. A large fraction is cultural osmosis. Belief in hard work, karma, duties towards the eminent dead, responsibilities for one's actions, accepting differences and still having productive relationships, these are all values that can be taught. I must create an environment where the default behavior is living these values. Our ambitions and attitudes change with our social circle, whether it be friends, work places, or families. Old married couples become very much like each other in their actions and attitudes. Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger got to a point where one would grunt and the other would understand exactly what was being said. Children of musicians become musicians at a rate higher than those not from that background. The same can be observed of athletes, actors, dancers, and knowledge professionals. We are the approximation of the people we surround ourselves with. What I can do is focus on creating a network for my kids composed of people with similar values to mine. Surround them with books. This is hard work, but one hopes for the best.