Understanding School Refusal

In this episode, I’m addressing a topic that’s come up again in my work with families: school refusal. If your child is pushing back on going to school, it’s rarely about laziness or manipulation; it usually points to something missing. I break down five key needs that, when unmet, often show up as school refusal:

1. Felt sense of safety — not just being told they’re safe, but their body actually feeling it

2. A sense of control — having some say instead of everything being decided for them

3. Positive relationships — a trusted adult who genuinely connects with them

4. Something to look forward to — a bright spot that keeps them going through the day

5. Social connection — friends and peers who make school worth showing up for

This is the first episode in a series. I’ll be breaking down one practical, research-based skill per episode so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.

🔔 Subscribe now so you don’t miss the upcoming episodes, where I’ll walk through specific DBT and mindfulness skills you can use to support a child struggling with school refusal with practical tools you can start using right away.