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The question hits me like a slap in the face.

How was your summer?

Such an innocent inquiry, polite even. One that invites cheerful recaps of pool days, camping, u-pick berry farms, possibly even—for the extra blessed—trips to Portugal.

You have two options in this moment: 1) lie, or 2) tell the truth. You can smile and say that your summer was great (this is a lie). You can even half-smile and say that your summer was fine (this is also a lie). Or, you can blink a few times and then play a twisted game of language limbo where you attempt to explain to other parents on the school blacktop that actually, this summer was pretty shitty. That actually, inside the walls of your home, you are referring to it as “The Summer of Loss.” That actually, over the course of 40 years, this has been the worst summer of your life.

(I don’t condone lying, but you can see why I’d be tempted to avoid the truth in this scenario, yes?)

At book club a few weeks ago, my friend Elise shared a startling epiphany. She always considered herself an introvert, but now realizes she is likely “an extrovert who hates small talk.”

Right there at the table, my head exploded all over our shared plates of bruschetta.

It got me thinking. Small talk in normal life is painful. Small talk when you’re grieving is a particular kind of torture.1

I still don’t know how to tell people, in a surface-level conversation, about the tragedy we’ve endured this summer. I don’t know how to tell people what it was like to stand in that humid cemetery under an offensively blue sky. How the cicadas buzzed while my mother sobbed. How final it was, and is, and will continue to be.

In the early days after The Phone Call, my friend Sarah affirmed this loss as a “complicated grief.” She is no stranger to loss, having lost her own mother many years ago. But that was, in her own words, a “simple” grief. Her mom got sick … and did not get better. This is obviously heartbreaking. Devastating in every way. Of course it is. Complicated grief is not harder or worse than any other grief. It is only that: complicated.

Maybe that’s the answer to the question I keep dodging. The one that will give me permission to tell the truth in one word, without needing to expand on the details, without needing to tell anyone how many times I’ve cried this summer, how many nightmares I’ve had, how miraculously loved and carried I’ve felt in spite of everything.

How was your summer?

Thanks for asking. It was … complicated.

Zinnia update, or: stubborn hope in progress.

MY BEST FRIEND WROTE A BOOK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. This collection of essays will make you laugh, cry, feel every feeling under the sun, and then stare at the wall, astonished, recapping every measure of grace in your own life. It’s beautiful. It’s honest. It’s raw. It’s already my favorite book of 2026. If you take ONE book rec from me this year, let this be the one.

Speaking of books, I was so pleased/honored/humbled to see this new review of You’re In Good Company in The Banner. “As these pages show over and over, our attempts to connect are often messy and imperfect, but perfection was never the point.” The price has dropped almost 50% on Amazon so this is a great time to snag a copy if you haven’t already.

Speaking of books part two: I cannot even begin to tell you how much I loved How To Read A Book (Amazon / Bookshop). Featuring a book club set in a women’s prison, this novel is basically one part ode to reading, one part ode to second chances. An enthusiastic five stars.

Speaking of books part three, ICYMI: Create Anyway is going out of print. If you want to own a copy, now’s the time to grab one.

I very rarely (maybe never?) listen to the same podcast episode twice, but upon finishing this conversation on AI, I immediately wanted to listen to it again.

We’re at the point in summer where “what’s for dinner?” is a triggering question for me. Reporting back that this Mexican Street Corn Pasta is delicious. And after a long break, we just re-upped our Hello Fresh subscription (get your first box free!) to temporarily minimize decision fatigue while we transition the kids back to school. Our favorite meals: any of the tacos / bowls / and always the firecracker meatballs.

Emily is a new-to-me writer that I want everyone to read. Go subscribe and be blessed.

Speaking of introverts and extroverts, this made me lol.

I have A Lot Of Feelings about therapy speak (and specifically how it's affecting family relationships in the year of our Lord 2026). This was an excellent read.

Wearing on repeat: 1) my friend Katie sent me this AMEN hat and I have already worn it 30 times. 2) In case I haven't mentioned this lately, I am having a renewed love affair with Gap. (I cannot even type that sentence without hearing Ryan Gosling yell, "BE BETTER THAN THE GAP!") Nevertheless, Zac Posen is nailing it, and I am officially dubbing these the Pants of the Summer. I have worn them, no joke, every single week, always with a breezy white top for a monochromatic (albeit grandma coastal) vibe.

Proof of how often I am wearing these pants. I even wore them for new headshots.

I recently did the math and realized I’ve been on 10 flights in the past six weeks (🤯). As much as I love to travel, I am so, so, so sick of airports.2 Travel MVPs worth sharing, though: this toiletry bag, this pill box (tell me you’re 40 without telling me you’re 40), this water bottle, and these electrolytes (I also never travel without emergen-C!).

Collabs I never knew I needed: Anne Lamott + Amy Poehler (!) and Maggie Smith + Mike Birbiglia (!).

I’ve been hunting for-ev-er for a new pair of (low, comfortable) heels and after trying them on in store, I snagged these at the Nordstrom anniversary sale. (Opted for brown suede, but I love the nude ones, too.). Also grabbed this dress, and this lace-trimmed henley.

Semi-related: I’m working on a “What to Wear for Fall Family Photos” round-up (every year I get asked about this from friends and photography clients alike)—will keep adding recs here.

I loved this piece about creativity being embarrassing, and now I kind of want to host my own Cringe open mic night (any takers?).

Dime is a new-to-me brand, and while their night moisturizer has been a rich treat for my parched skin this summer, what I really want you to know is that I am obsessed with their perfume.

Lastly, it’s officially back-to-school season (hallelujah!). Sending love to all the moms (and dads) out there who are filling out paperwork / scrambling to buy everyone new sneakers / inputting 400 dates into the family calendar, etc. Some BTS posts from the archives you might love: Back to School Supply List for Moms, We Forgot to Pick Up Our Daughter On the 11th Day of School (and other things that would horrify my new-mom self), The Word of the Day is Available, and a piece I wrote for People Magazine earlier this year: The Mom with the Good Snacks.

That’s all I’ve got. What are you reading? Wearing? Cooking? Watching? Fun fact: I’ve been re-watching The OC (so terrible, so good) and nothing makes me feel older than realizing my 16-year-old self was obsessed with Seth Cohen, but my 40-year-old self is like, wow, Sandy Cohen is such a babe. 😬

Grieving in August & the Question I Keep Dodging

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