Leading with destruction & letting go

Winter is when the world grows brittle and the things we’ve been dragging along finally give way and let go.

This is a great time for pruning weak branches and creating controlled burns to clear space. As the weather turns colder, our energy sinks low. We turn inward, we get quieter, and get better at identifying what’s not working anymore.

I used to think that my garden compost heap stopped in winter time through the deep freeze. There’s no visible change to a compost bin in New England winters. But it turns out that freeze wasn’t my compost halting - the deep freeze expands the cell walls of our carrot scraps and yard weeds until they burst. While there wasn’t much going on at the surface, the harsh freeze and late winter thaw actually sped up our compost material far more than the worm farm we kept inside.

So I look at my winter cycle as a time for the cell walls to burst. In the cold light of the season, it’s easier to see what I’ve been dragging along now that everything is bare. It’s a time to not just let things die - but to kill, mercifully or brutally. It’s a time to bundle up and accept that some scary things cannot be undone - and then to do them anyway.

In the Winter Incubator, we use the deep freeze to our advantage with reflections

This is a reflection, not a commitment. You don’t have to get a divorce, quit your job, or stop showing up to your weekly demonstration. We’re just talking about possibilities.

• Name one initiative, relationship, or practice that you’ve been pumping energy into for little to no return.

• What would it take to drop it, end it, or destroy it?

• What could you redirect your time, attention, or resources toward if you no longer had to keep it going?

While the goal of Raising Luminaries is has abolitionist goals, our methods feel closer to reform.

For folks new to the concepts of reform and abolition.

• Reform: Tweaking and reconfiguring systems, but maintaining the same goal

• Abolition: Clearing space to rebuild something with new objective

My goal with Raising Luminaries has been to smash the kyriarchy by igniting the next generation of leaders. Teaching caregivers how to raise kids who recognize, understand, and dismantle oppressive structures.

I’ve been spending the Winter Incubator thinking about whether what I provide is actually helping our collaborators work toward liberation. Am I actually helping folks push into their discomfort so they can take small steps toward more courageous action? Or am I just heaping overworked parents with tool kits and busywork? Am I equipping you, or just keeping you distracted?

Winter is a good time to make hard decisions about what needs to burst and dissolve so we have space for what folks really need in this moment.

Share your thoughts - is there a way we can educate our kids, and ourselves, in a way that isn’t just adding more homework to a caregiver’s to-do list?

with you,

Ashia

As we look toward this shaky, uncertain future – we’re raising the leaders we will need to navigate it. As heady as all this sounds, it’s easier to define our values with some helpful books to start conversations about the way roles our kids can take toward collective action.

Together with your kids, recognize that there are diverse ways to lead and work together.

6 Types of Leadership