Fear makes bargains with God

Hello friend!

“Have you ever asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins?”

I stumbled over the discussion question while reading the storybook Bible to my girls a few years ago. My heart started pounding in my ears.

This could be it, I thought. This could be the big moment one of my children gets saved.

I wanted to be ready to lead them in prayer, but what if I said the wrong thing? What if I Ieft something out? Or worse, what if THEY felt pressured to pray simply because they’re trying to please me?? 😱

So much fear.

I felt the pressure of discipling my children just right, so I didn’t alienate them from God or the church. I was still parenting as if their eternal salvation depended on me. Fear makes us hustle, trying to control the outcome by doing more. This applies not only to parenting but also to marriages, jobs, and even our churches.

Fear makes bargains with God.

Sometimes it looks like whispering, “God, if I bring my family to church every Sunday, pray before meals, and do all the right Christian things... then You'll keep them close to You, right?”

For you, maybe it sounds like:

“If I have my quiet time...”

“If I work out enough...”

“If I don’t mess up...”

“Then surely God owes me the outcome I want.”

Sadly, I know many mothers whose sons and daughters have wandered from the faith. I’ve cried with some of you at conferences. I’ve prayed over your prodigals.1

The fear is real.

But God’s love is stronger still. And perfect love casts out fear.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment.”
—1 John 4:18

Out of desperation one day, I cried out to the Lord: “God, I don't know what else to do. I'm out of ideas for how to love these children and lead them to You.”

In His tenderness, He whispered to my heart: “Do you know I love your children?”

I do.

“Do you believe I love them even more than you do?”

I do.

“Before you ever knew these children, I knew them, and I loved them with an everlasting love. I love them still—even more than you do.”

🥹

“Now rest in My love.”

I can’t produce faith in my children, but I can faithfully point them to Jesus. I can entrust them into His tender care, knowing His goodness and mercy will follow them all the days of their lives. The Good Shepherd will keep pursuing them long after they leave our home.

If you’ve come here hoping for parenting formulas or motherhood guarantees, I’m sorry. I don’t have any.

But I can offer you something better: trusting in the steadfast love of God, the One who loves you and your family more than you ever could. His love extended toward His people, Israel, even in their rebellion, and He continued pursuing them and drawing them back to His heart:

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
—Jeremiah 31:3

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but friend, hold on to this truth: the perfect love of Jesus will never let go, even when your loved one is out of your reach. If you need some extra reassurance today, take time to read Jeremiah 31, and mark in your Bible what you learn about the heart of God.

As for me, in this season of mothering 8-12-year-olds, I’ll continue loving them, praying for them, and celebrating every little milestone of their walk with Jesus.

No matter how twisty their path may one day be, He’s the One who will lead them all the way home.

Their story was never mine to write.

It was always His.

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Each month, we’ll share a resource to grow your friendship with Jesus—plus a sweet giveaway and a simple idea to enjoy His Word.2

If you’ve made it this far, you might be thinking, “So... do I just stop discipling my kids.” 😊

Definitely not.

We can’t change our children’s hearts—but we can faithfully place God’s Word before them and trust the Holy Spirit to do what only He can do.

We trust God with the outcome... and because we trust Him, we faithfully keep sowing His Word.

One resource that’s helped our family is the Tiny Theologians Bible. Instead of simply telling Bible stories, it helps children begin discovering Scripture for themselves.

The Tiny Theologians Bible helps kids ages 6–10 build Bible literacy through Scripture and features written at a third grade reading level.

In this month’s video, I’ll walk through the simple Bible study method we’ve used with our own kids, demonstrate it in a passage of Scripture, share ideas for preschoolers through teens, and even talk about what to do when your child just isn’t interested.

If you’re looking for a simple way to build a lifelong love for God’s Word in your home, I think you’ll love this Bible.

🎁 Win a Copy!

Before opening your Bible this week, place your palms face down and surrender every fear you're carrying for someone you love. Then turn your palms upward and receive God's promise: "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Read Jeremiah 31 slowly, asking, What does this passage show me about the heart of Jesus?

Here are a few little joys we’ve been thanking God for lately. We’d love to hear one of yours in the comments, too.

• One of the highlights of our summer has been watching our children serve in our local church. Our oldest daughter volunteered with the first-graders at VBS, and our younger two invited several neighborhood friends to come along. We’ve also watched them volunteer at our local food pantry and begin serving on the student ministry worship team.

  More than anything, I’ve found myself wondering, Who are these kids who genuinely love their church and want to give back? It’s one of those quiet answers to prayer that catches you by surprise. 🥰 - Asheritah

• My brother and his wife had their first baby last month, and it’s safe to say there’s nothing like the joy of holding a long-awaited newborn. Aunt Life is 100% for me and I will spoil her for all her days. :) - Kaitlyn

• These brown butter sourdough chocolate chip cookies have become our family’s favorite. I’ve baked them for new moms, packed them for writing retreats, and the kids even sold them at their neighborhood lemonade stand. I usually double the batch and keep cookie dough balls in the freezer so we can have warm, fresh cookies whenever the craving strikes. (Which is both wonderful… and a bit dangerous. 😉) - Asheritah

• We went to a Cleveland Guardians baseball game this week and I literally teared up when I walked into the stadium. I love attending sporting events and being part of a large group all excited about the same thing! - Hannah

• My daughter has been a huge fan of the Tiny Theologians Podcast for a long time, and we’ve loved using their discipleship resources during our Morning Basket devotional time. So when I heard about the Tiny Theologians Bible (this month’s featured resource!), I couldn’t wait to get a copy for her. We gave it to her for her birthday last month as her first “big kid” Bible, and we are enjoying reading and exploring it together! - Kathryn

One of the reminders I’ve been returning to lately is this: we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. We can bring them honestly to Jesus in prayer.

That’s why we’re beginning something new on YouTube.

We’re taking some of the most-loved prayers from Prayers of REST and bringing them to life as guided prayer videos you can listen to anytime you need a few quiet moments with Jesus. Because of today’s letter, I especially wanted to share two that have been on my heart:

🤍 A Prayer for Healing from Church Hurt — for anyone carrying disappointment, betrayal, or wounds from the people of God.

🤍 A Prayer for Neighbors — a simple prayer asking God to help us love the people He’s placed around us with His compassion.

Whether you’re taking a morning walk, sitting with your Bible, or simply need a few minutes to breathe and pray, I hope these prayers help you rest in the love of Jesus.

▶️ Watch the new Prayers of REST videos here: YouTube Playlist 💛

Is there someone the Lord brought to mind while you were reading today's letter? Maybe a weary mom, a friend who has stepped away from church, or a neighbor you've been wanting to know better. Consider sending them one of these prayer videos as a simple encouragement. ✨

With much joy,

Asheritah & Team

P.S. Who are you trusting God with today? Hit reply (or leave a comment below) with just their first name. We’d be honored to join you in praying for them this week. ❤️ And if you think it would encourage them, send them one of the prayer videos above so they know they're not carrying their burden alone.

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