Cheatsheet image example A man from Eastern Europe trying to think aloud and reassess his life. Staying clean from former delusional leisures. Welcome, s...
Vlad messaged me on Instagram. Eight(!) years I didn't force myself to write because first I sent him away because of something. And then I lived being sure I didn't have the right to ask for peace. Yet he messaged me on his own... We quickly changed numbers and started talking, it took summarily three hours. He was drinking vodka while talking to me. Maybe this spirit was what pushed him to break…
The kitten is growing up quickly and brings much joy to my parents. I am glad they smile and laugh. That's a valuable gift I missed for a long time. I pretend to be an adult man, but while alone I read other people's stories on Reddit and Threads trying to get their experience and learn something new. I feel lost because now I don't know what exactly I want unlike in my 15. The interpeter's…
It happened. The very reason I had started the blog became the fact. I'm 30 by now. I didn't make any present for myself but bought several necessary items for everyday life. I organised a day off and wandered around the city thinking about everything I guess. Much to my relief I don't give a heck about the expectations the society gives to younger people. Sorry, I'm an old fart (jokes obviously),…
My 30 is coming the next week. I feel empty and desensitised. I listen to old songs from my 2009-2012 era, when life started feeling angstily different. Oh boi(!), how wrongly I imagined my adulthood. I hoped I'd have overcome my indifference towards romantics, find a gf and start a family 'like all people'. This refrain keeps boggling my mind. Who are those 'all people'? And though the world is…
We got a she-kitten. It's cute with enormous blue eyes (like most kittens), brown stripes all over the body, and a tiny tail. I am relatively calm about the animal, but I can't deny something empathetic awakes within myself. I do know this is a cognitive error and oversimplification, but kittens feel pure, unlike humans. Animals can't hide their intentions, whether they're good or bad. Dogs roar…
My 30th birthday, it's getting closer. We finally gathered to celebrate the same occasion for my cousin. I presented her my booklet with stickers I had spent so much time on. Initially she just thanked me and put the present in her bag. I felt disappointed she wouldn't have tried to learn the contents right there at the café. Thinking I was rushing things I waited. Closer to the end of the…
The day started with the second mail from Instagram that I had been banned for 'unusual activity'. It had happened before but I managed to restore the access. Today, at 6AM, I received the same beep on my phone. I don't know why was I given this flag but still I gave up on using Meta so I deleted the account for good. I don't want to stay on alert for nothing. I had real photos, including those…
I couldn't say I waited for that day, but March 14th was Vlad's birthday. For the first time in eight years since I had sent him away because of several reasons I did have the technical opportunity to message him. I considered to type something simple like 'Happy birthday' but then I asked myself what kind of message was I trying to deliver to him? Did I want to say I remembered the date? Why if I…
I was convinced to install Threads. That was surprising how different the people who broadcast pretentious success on Instagram were real and raw there. I mean, guys, are those media from the same developer? I can't believe to read authenticity on something from Meta. Well, I confess I wasted several hours trying to check on people's opinions on things that matter to me. The time is almost up.…
I could spend this evening talking to AI. Or roleplaying. Or generating videos with my favourite fictional characters. I could spend my time watching someone talking nonsense on Youtube only to forget all motivational stuff they said the moment I turn off my computer. So I could watch another series with the plot composed of epicness, clihé twists and decomposed in its non-originality. I could…