What Psychopaths Teach Us About Influence

Hello there 👋

Recently I finished reading:

The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

Did you know some of the world's most charismatic people might be psychopaths?

What separates a charismatic leader from a manipulative schemer?

To cut to the chase I LOVED the book,

Although, I now start to worry I may be a psychopath myself 😂.

I am the biggest advocate for improving your soft skills to get more of what you deserve.

However, I was surprised to see that those who are psychotic also register high levels of charisma.

In fact one of the key components of a psychopath - glib and superficial charm

So today I wanted to dive into the difference between genuine influence and dark charm.

Danger or Delight?

From data found by the Carnegie Institute, we gravitate to those who are positive, confident, and exude warmth.

Charisma can have both positive and negative effects,

we see con men using charm to swindle people out of their money, but we also see it being used to start a movement.

To answer the question if a person is using charisma in an evil way, you have to look at their intentions.

Do they use it sincerely or just to pull the wool over your eyes!

"Psychopaths are superficially charming, glib, and grandiose. They exude confidence that draws people in like moths to a flame." (The Psychopath Test)

The Fine Line Between Charisma and Manipulation

Psychopaths use persuasion to benefit themselves, however, completely sane people do the same thing.

There is a very fine line between charisma and manipulation,

believe it or not, I have spoken with individuals who wanted to start a cult!

personally I would never work with someone who wanted to inflict evil on the world.

"If you’re skilled enough at charm and manipulation, you can make almost anyone believe almost anything." (The Psychopath Test)

What Separates a Leader from a Schemer?

when ou want to see the difference between a psychopath and a schemer

You have to look at their intentions and values

Do they value:

• Honesty

• Integrity

• Accountability

• Accepting responsibility

• Empathy

True psychopaths cannot comprehend these values

People who score high on the psychopath test, rank incredibly low on empathy and emotional intelligence.

They also refuse to accept responsibility for their actions

This is how they can manipulate people, without caring about their feelings.

"Psychopaths see people as pawns in their game. They use charm not to connect, but to control."

Authentic Charisma

There are some very practical ways you can create authentic charisma.

Active Listening - Psychopaths have a grandiose view of themselves and so find it difficult to listen to someone else. They are the stars of the show, so for you to develop charisma you want to effectively listen to other people, this includes hearing tone, listening to word choice, reading body language.

Open Questions - Getting other people to open up about their experiences, values, and beliefs can help form unbreakable connections. Questions that start with How, What, Why are a great place to start.

Empathy - The most important skill in developing authentic charisma is being able to see situations from the other side. If you want to connect emotionally then being able to understand why someone is sad, why they are happy, or why they are concerned is vital. Leaders need to empathise with their teams to effectively motivate and inspire them.

"True influence doesn’t come from manipulation but from understanding what drives others and aligning with it authentically."

Jon Ronson Ted Talk

If you are not one for reading books, then he has an excellent TED TALK which he has done on the subject of meeting psychopaths:

My partner now laughs at me because I am now on the hunt

To find psychopaths in my everyday life,

I understand this is not a great way to live,

Accusing everyone of being a psychopath,

Perhaps the truth is, I am a psychopath myself ? (Just kidding)

Loved reading this book and would recommend it,

Looking forward to speaking to you again,

Kind regards

Sebastian from Art of Charisma