I Tested 3 Charisma Tricks on Strangers… One Backfired

Last week, I wanted to challenge myself

I talk the talk enough.

I wanted to walk the walk.

I tested 3 of my Charisma Techniques on complete strangers.

2 worked, 1 backfired.

Here’s what happened

Recently, I have moved to the Czech Republic, and I am trying to meet new people

I attended an Expats meet-up event and tried out some of my techniques

Technique #1: The Cold Read

The cold read is a perfect way to initiate a conversation

This is when you take a guess about someone based on the information you can see and the context of the environment.

For example, if you see a man dressed in a suit at 8:30 on a Monday morning on the metro, you can assume he is on his way to work.

At the event, I saw someone by themselves, who was in professional attire, and I went up and said:

“Hey, have you just finished work? What do you do for a living?”

BOOM!

Now we were in an engaging conversation.

We talked about work, goals, career aspirations.

Eventually we discussed my very painful relationship to Manchester United. But the conversation started well.

Technique #2: Warmth

The books overcomplicate warmth.

This is just mastering the art of looking like you are having a good time.

Its 100x easier when you are actually having a good time so just focus on that.

People gravitate to those who are positive and fun.

On this occasion, I was not at my 100%

I had just moved apartments and was tired and sore from carrying a sofa up a flight of stairs.

I knew, however, if I stared into my phone, have a gloomy expression on my face, no one would want to talk to me.

I put on a smile and focused on enjoying myself

After an 1hr, I had people gathering around me laughing

It worked a treat.

Technique #3 (Backfired): Mistimed Jokes

I love cracking a joke

I do not take myself too seriously

On this occasion, it flopped

As I am from the UK and new to the Czech Republic, I see lots of differences that I find funny.

For example, the Czechs love pickles and are in fact obsessed with stockpiling jars and jars of the stuff.

Honestly, come to my apartment sometime, you will find jars of Pickles, kimchi, and sardines (at least that’s what I hope they are)

As a Brit, this is funny to me because it appears they are preparing for an alien invasion and need to have enough jars of pickles to last a lifetime.

I said this at the event.

No laughs, no smiles, nothing

Most people’s worst nightmare

As the blank expressions started back at me, I realised I am not as cool as I think.

Someone later highlighted to me that most of the people at the event were Slavic and love fermenting pickles, and so this didn’t appear funny, as it was a natural part of their lives.

Woops

You live and learn

But, nothing bad happened, I wasn’t shunned from the group, cast out, or rejected on the spot.

Everyone just moved on and forgot about it.

Charisma techniques don’t fail because they’re wrong.

They fail because they’re:

• Poorly timed

• Poorly calibrated

• Or used without emotional awareness

Charisma without calibration = social risk.

I want you to take more risks, and with Charisma Coaching, you can take risks during charisma coaching because there is a safe environment to practise these techniques.

1-2-1 charisma coaching means you can experiment with a coach where there is nothing at stake.

Build up your confidence using the techniques and become a master

When you are in the real world, it will be effortless

Book your FREE Charisma Coaching discovery call with me where you can better understand you strengths and weaknesses. Book below:

FREE CHARISMA COACHING DICOVERY CALL

If you want to:

• Build deep connections with others

• Develop charisma with authenticity

• Speak with presence

• Influence without manipulation

Then get in touch

Until then I’ll speak to you next week 👋

Kind regards

Sebastian from Art of Charisma