Today, I was speaking to a client about rejection
It was a pretty powerful session
Enough for me to create this email, because I feel like others can get value from this.
Let’s be honest.
Rejection sucks.
For most of my life, it was something I actively avoided.
I always admired those people who would say:
”I don’t care what people think.”
To me, this was a superpower.
Total battle armour 💪
If you have zero fear of rejection, then you could do anything
Apply for THAT job
Ask THAT person out
Invite THOSE friends to your party
Unfortunately, I overcame rejection through a baptism of fire.
I got a job in sales, where I was getting rejected every single day
It was like going 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.
Here is what I learned from getting rejected every day.
Rejection vs Redirection
It was easy to put every bad interaction down to a rejection
But what this was actually doing was redirecting me.
It was pointing me in a different direction
Encouraging me to try a new technique.
With each setback, I had to figure out what this was guiding me towards.
For example, a job I really wanted denied my application.
It’s a sucker punch in the moment, but a redirection.
I now look back and think, thank god I never got that job because I would not be where I am today.
But reading that email felt like hammering nails into my eyelids.
Rejection can be painful and personal, but we need to see it as a redirection.
How We See Ourselves
Rejection often comes from how we see ourselves
People I speak to feel like they are
Not ‘good enough.’
Worried about saying something wrong
Feeling like they are being judged
If you find yourself struggling to move past rejection, consider whether any of these patterns sound familiar:
Personalization: “If they didn’t choose me, I must not be good enough.”
All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I didn’t get this opportunity, I’ll never succeed.”
Overgeneralization: “One bad experience means I’ll always be rejected.”
Rumination: Replaying the rejection over and over, searching for what you did wrong.
While these thoughts are natural, they aren’t helpful.
They reinforce the idea that rejection is about you, rather than about the many external factors at play.
Think of a relationship as a team sport.
It takes 2 to Tango
Even while getting rejected, there is another ‘player’ who is impacting the game.
Which you have no control over.
In most cases, there are external factors that impact the reasons for your rejection.
Understand this and accept it.
Look For Quick Wins
When I was experiencing rejection, I would look for challenges.
Something monumental that I could tackle
While having this ability is good.
I would inevitably fail.
For example, after going up and speaking to someone at the dealership who would dismiss me, I would set a challenge to make them LOVE me.
Or
I would look for the most difficult customer and try to sell to them.
Both would inevitably fail.
In business, social settings, and politics, you cannot underestimate the power of quick wins.
The reason why I would fail at my big challenges would be that. They could ‘smell the fear’
I was nervous, anxious, worried, and no matter how much I tried to hide it.
They could just tell.
The better approach is get 5 quick wins under your belt, start feeling good.
Because that energy will be noticeable and contagious.
Rejection is inevitable
If you walked into a room of 20 people, is it realistic to think all 20 people will:
Fall in love with you
Think you are funny
Buy your product
No, it is not realistic; rejection is inevitable in life.
You cannot escape it; you can just manage it.
If you would like help handling rejection and building unbreakable charisma, then book your free charisma coaching discovery call with me:
BOOK MY CHARISMA COACHING DISCOVERY CALL
I hoped this email helped you,
It’s a slightly different approach this week, but do not worry.
Next week I’ll be back to wacky 🤪
Until then
Kind regards
Sebastian from Art of Charisma
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