I was set to write an article about gardening, when Substack suggested a post by Jill Winger…again. Before I produce the gardening article, I feel strongly compelled to warn those that choose to remain on social media and follow homesteading influencer pages…
Very nice people. But they’re all wearing “homestead” face. They enjoy the attention more than the actual lifestyle. I’ve met many of them at homestead festivals, conferences, and events. I even found myself being pulled into that world. I chose to exit before I got sucked in.
That same famous homesteading influencer that abandoned homeschooling and cooking from scratch, influencing her swath of loyal followers to quit on their duties as well, also abandoned gardening recently. In her words, “I’m not doing a garden this year for the first time in 20 years.”
As she peddles her “homestead planner”, I wonder what “homesteading” duties she will have left to plan for. What will she talk about now on her Substack, Podcast, and Instagram pages?
So I went back to see what she could possibly be pushing under her “homesteading” brand at this point…
A whole lot of self-care jumble.
She is finally admitting burnout. Not just burnout from homesteading, but from being a homesteading influencer. She says she did it all because she liked the labels…”homesteader” “homemaker” “homeschool mom”. And she is now liberating herself from this lifestyle and identity.
She said it was “becoming a performance”. Good for her for actually recognizing this. Most of these social media influencers are still playing the part. It’s terribly obvious that not one single “homesteading influencer” is really homesteading.
How do I know? Because I do real life homesteading on a micro-scale and don’t have a single extra minute to get my phone out, film it, edit recordings, answer follower messages, engage in the algorithm game, etc. When I did post videos for my business page a few years back, it would take up at least 2 extra hours of my day. That was on a micro-scale as well.
These influencers do not have time to keep a home, tend a garden, teach their children, make soaps and cheese or whatever, and have a social media presence. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.
Grace
I have grace for Jill Winger. I could see what was happening from the trees. Back in 2024, I saw her on the cover of Homestead Living magazine. I truly didn’t recognize her. She didn’t look like the woman I’d seen back when I was following her on social media. It wasn’t just that she looked decades older, or had gain an obvious amount of weight, but her face was pale and her eyes looked dull. I was angry for her and thought to myself, “Some man at that magazine chose that unflattering photo, surely.” Men, sheesh.
However, when I stumbled across her Substack page a few months ago, she sounded disgruntled. Like she was fed up with everything and everyone. Through a series of posts, she admitted she had stopped homeschooling her children, that she decided not to produce a food garden this year, and she no longer desired to cook meals from scratch. Instead of handing out the typical sunny homesteading advice, she started talking about feelings, frustrations, complaints, and that led into self-care TED talk-style posts.
Sadly, it was no surprise that she just announced she is divorcing her husband. She talks a whole lot about herself and all the many things she is going through. Using her social media as a means to work through her problems, while simultaneously influencing a whole load of easily influenceable women to follow her path. Repeating phrases like leaving the “traditional church” and being lost in “the wilderness”.
It is terribly obvious she is lost. Going through what some would deem a mid-life crisis. It’s also clear to me how she easily got to this place of wandering at 40 years old. How most women get to this peak.
I am also soon to turn 40. I’m oddly excited about this birthday. I’ve never been one to care about celebrating myself, but this feels too important not to. Like Jill, I hear many of my peers feeling similar as I, in the sense that it feels like a “shift”. Jill has made it clear her shift is “wandering in the wilderness”. Finding herself. Looking. Lost.
The shift I feel, though distinct as well, is entirely different. I feel grounded. Solid. Strong. Like a dang pillar. My body, although dying like any other, is healthier than it has ever been, and my soul grows wiser each day. I am confident in my identity. I know who I am and who’s I am. I feel settled in my roles and abilities. I have become disciplined in my duties. I do not fear the descent like most, instead I look forward to the journey that leads to the valley.
The Problem with 40
Biologically, a women’s hormones begin to change dramatically around this age. It is called Peri-menopause, which is the time before menopause when a woman’s body is getting ready to stop having periods. I’ve been warned by older women of this horrifying change. Not only does your body change, sometimes losing minerals and slowing down metabolism, but also something happens to your spirit. I’ve been warned that as your estrogen depletes, so does your patience and sweetness. As though you are no longer “yourself.”
This often leads to problems in families and marriages. I witnessed this myself with my parents. My mother was often angry, even violent at times. As a child, I had no understanding of the changes happening as being biological. I just knew I was terrified of her and to stay out of the way.
There is no telling what chaos this is causing in Jill’s home. But she ought to get a handle on it soon before she loses it all. Including herself.
Preparing for The Transition…
Put God first
Pray this transition is minor and he keeps my body, mind and spirit healthy and strong
Lean on Him through the storm, when some days or moments are tougher than others
Keep loving my husband
And serving him…
I hear a lot of women stop caring for their husbands around this age. I pray the Lord give me more love and energy for my husband.
Communication
Be transparent when I’m having a hard day, what I need from him, pause when I feel an overwhelming emotion
Grace
Repent when I fall short, apologize immediately, ask for his grace and patience
Keep training my children
Education
When my boys were younger, I would tell them that women need a little extra rest once a month. Now that they are getting a little older, I have started letting them know that women have what is called a period, that it is something that causes our bodies to be a little tired and our emotions delicate for a few days each month. In a few more years, I will let them know how it all works, so they can understand it better.
I refuse to behave the way my mother did towards her children. I will be transparent when I am struggling, I will apologize, and I will be disciplined with my emotions. Children should always be reminded that a parent’s lack of self-regulation is never their fault.
Support my hormones
Exercise and eat real food
Supplements and herbs
Community
Lean on an in-person community of Godly women. Women who know what I’m going through. Women who root for my husband and our marriage. Women who pray with and for me.
The Syndrome & Solution
Jill is sick. She ought to pause everything. Work on her health. Work on her marriage before the papers are signed. Get stronger and fight for her family. Seek God. Not “the divine” as she has vaguely referred to The One Almighty God. Find a healthy church. Surround herself with Godly women. Get off social media all together. Go be an average human being like the rest of us. Find pride in her God designed abilities. Be a mother. Be a wife. Be a friend. Be a Christian. These are all labels to be proud of. And will ultimately bring true joy and lasting peace.
For you sister, still hanging on to social media, stop being influenced. The best way to get your own mind, thoughts, and ideas back…
Delete the apps.
You’re welcome.
~Casey
What do you think about Jill Winger’s pivot away from the “old-fashioned” traditional lifestyle
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