Navigating the space "in between"

There are times in our lives when it feels as if the world is spinning, yet we are standing still. That space between closing old chapters and beginning a new. The darkness that comes before the light, the quiet before the noise. Many refer to this space as the “in between” space, the stillness that happens before ignition into new beginnings. Similar to when a seed is planted in the soil, right before it burst open and sprouts; or when a baby begins to position themselves in their mother’s womb, waiting for her to push.

When talking about seeds, this “in between” space is called a state/period of dormancy before germination. Britannica defines germination as, “the sprouting of a seed, spore, or other reproductive body, usually after a period of dormancy. The absorption of water, the passage of time, chilling, warming, oxygen availability, and light exposure may all operate in initiating the process.” Said more directly, germination is the process by which a seed initiates growth, but before it can start to show signs of external growth it must go through a state of dormancy or in other words experience the space “in between” being a seed and becoming a seedling.

We aren’t much different than seeds. We too must enter this “in between” space or a state or dormancy before we sprout into something new. This “in between” space can also be called a transition, recalibration, reassessment, preparing for the next steps. But for some reason, “in between” feels like the best way to describe it to me. Being “in between” leaving an old job and starting a new one. “in between” closing an old relationship to fully enter into a new one. “in between”. This space that can feel like being in a void, uncertain of what may happen, but certain that something new must be tried. It’s quite ethereal and spiritual if you think about it.

Navigating between worlds is similar to being born, exiting the womb to enter a brand new world that is unfamiliar but full of promise. A world that you’re uncertain about, but curious about all at the same time. But back to the “in between”, this space is sacred, a space that many of us occupy, but are unsure of how to navigate. It is a space that isn’t in popular culture because it isn’t a space that many feel like bragging about. It can be lonely, confusing, painful. It can feel as if you are being guided by this invisible force, holding your hand while you continue to walk the path of the unknown. Sometimes it feels like the force has let your hand go, and you begin to feel alone. It is a space that is illogical, yet, a space is absolutely necessary to enter into the next phase. The “in between” is a state of dormancy, where we are encouraged to get quiet, be still, and to listen. Listen to what, I’m not exactly sure, but what I have experienced is that if you get real still and real quiet, then maybe, just maybe you’ll hear that inner voice encouraging you to trust the process.

Right now, I feel that I am navigating the “in between” space.

“in between” a career switch, slowly exiting the nonprofit realm to enter into the outdoor industry. “in between” letting go of unhealthy relationships and sinking into healthy ones. “in between” accepting what is given to me and demanding what I rightfully deserve. “in between” over-giving into receiving abundantly. A space of transition, “in between” shrinking when I walk into a room, to allowing my energy to speak for itself. In a state of dormancy by staying at home and not being the truth-teller and activist that I used to be, finding a new role in the revolution that fits my capacity and still supports community. “in between” being the leader and allowing others to lead. Sending gratitude to who I once was and affirming my newly evolved-self.

This process is not easy, but it is a process that I’m learning to cherish…even when painful, even when I feel lonely. What I’ve found most important about navigating this space is to find a routine (I prefer the word ritual, but to each’s own) that allows us to find roots during our spiritual experience in the “ in between”. A ritual that I’ve found helpful recently is this:

8:40am—Alarm goes off and I hit snooze

8:55am—Alarm goes off and I do my morning meditation on the Insight Timer app

9:10am—Get out of bed, get dressed, take liquid iron, drink water, brush teeth

9:30am—Leave house and logon to the Finch app and send my Pear baby on their daily adventure

9:40am—Walk nature trail for 15-20 minutes

This daily morning ritual has been my saving grace during this “in between” time. Having one piece of my day that I can not only control, but rely on has been more than significant. It grants me the opportunity for consistency because even when I don’t want to do it, I make the commitment to myself to get up and go walk. Simple, but not always easy. This morning ritual has granted me the opportunity to watch the seasons change, it has allowed me to see tree’s leaves change from brown to green; it has allowed me to see leaves burst from tree trunks as the weather warms; it has allowed me to watch young leaves mature; it has allowed me to see flowers bloom from one day to the next; it has allowed me to see that I am not alone in this growing process. As the plants grow, so do I. As they lose their young leaves to make room for more mature leaves, I also lose old habits for new ones to grow. As the flowers go from being closed to open, I too go from being shy to speaking up more at work. As the insects come out of hibernation, I too find ways to express myself that were once lost to me. Together, we emerge from the “in between” space into a new evolved self.

There are times when we feel that we are alone. Research says that despite being more connected because of the internet, loneliness is at an all time high causing a major mental health crisis. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s an adaptive survival tactic, but a lot of times when we are navigating issues that aren’t overtly positive, we tend to hold onto our stories and not share. Maybe it’s time for us—I speak to you as I speak to myself—share when things aren’t good. What if my mother had shared with me stories of when she had to navigate the “in between” spaces in her life or my father, I wonder if that could have prepared me to enter into that space more openly. I’m not sure what the answer is, but what I know is that I share my story with you because I want you to know that you aren’t alone, which means I’m not alone. I will caveat and say, I not advocating for you to put your pain on the internet with the hopes that someone will validate your story, that can be dangerous, what I am saying is do what feels right to you, even if it feels challenging. Whether that’s calling a friend and letting them in on what you’re experiencing, writing a Substack story to share with like-minded people, or if it’s your style, making a public post on the internet about it, find what best works for you because we must protect what little privacy we have left.

Remember when we talked about the definition of germination? Well part of the “in between” or what Britannica called the state of dormancy also requires “the absorption of water, the passage of time, chilling, warming, oxygen availability, and light exposure” in order for a seed to germinate aka sprout. While it may feel that the “in between” space is standing still, I want to remind you that there are very important steps taking place! The passage of time, water, warming, chilling, oxygen, receiving light—these are all parts of the dormancy. And just like the seed, we are also experiencing these things. The water we drink for our health, the exercise we do to warm up our bodies, the resting we do to pass time, the extra effort we put forth to hang with friends even when we don’t feel like, the crying that happens, the questioning of “what is the point”; whatever else you may experience, these are all equally important and absolutely necessary in order for us to germinate, sprout, and ultimately bloom.

I used to not like when people told me this, but I’m learning to love this phrase as well, it’s all a part of the process. And as we navigate this process of the “in between”, I encourage you to water yourself with kindness and grace, remember my dear seed, it’s your first time as this age and it’s okay if things don’t go exactly to plan. With your persistence, kindness, and patience, we will all get our chance to burst through the soil and exit the “in between” to start a new journey. I’ll leave you with these affirmations and sending much love!

Affirmations:

• I am capable of so much

• I am ready to start fresh

• I embrace the unknown with curiosity and wonder

• I am constantly growing and evolving

• I am evolving every single day even if I can’t see it

• I am worthy of great things

• I choose myself

• I love myself exactly how I am

signed,

Lavender the Herbal Fairy 🧚🏾‍♀️💟✨

P.S. I hope you enjoy the free digital art collages I shared above. If you download them and post online please tag me @arkansawblk 🌱