It's Not a 90s Summer

In the spirit of summer, I hereby declare a Just a Splash Summer Sale! Now through August 11th (my birthday 😉), paid subscriptions are 25% off. TYIA for the greatest gift! xx

A few weeks ago, I wrote about trying to have a low-effort summer and it was my highest performing Substack newsletter yet:

And I don’t think it’s because it was some grand think piece or the best writing I’ve ever put out there (it wasn’t). I think it was because it struck a nerve with many of us, and particularly those of us with kids: summer, for all its promise of feeling low-key and like you’re living in a movie, can actually feel like a lot of pressure.

For those of us who live in seasonal climates especially, we’ve spent a good half of the year stuck in cold weather and severely lacking in Vitamin D. We build up summer in our minds as our light at the end of the tunnel, our saving grace.

And in many cases it is! But also it isn’t. Because life is still life-ing and we still have work to do, except now we’re out of a routine, and our childcare is altered and choppy (or nonexistent). So we end up feeling frustrated and like we’ve let ourselves, our families, down. Instead of feeling easy breezy and light like we thought we would, in actuality we’re overwhelmed and overstimulated and touched out and that makes us snap and then MY GOD IF THE CYCLE DOESN’T START ALL OVER AGAIN.

My internal monologue lately has been going something like this:

Why am I not having fun! Why am I overwhelmed! What is this parasite! Did I wash those vegetables enough? What are these new ticks! Did I check my kid’s hair for the new microscopic tick? What is this heatwave and what are these wildfires - isn’t this the time when I’m supposed to be able to be outside?!

I personally find the day-to-day of summer harder to manage than the school year. My routine is gone as each week brings a new schedule of childcare (or lack thereof). We’re rotating between camps with different drop-off times and different pack-a-lunch policies and somehow none of them line up with a typical work schedule. Not to mention my kid has zero interest in going to said camp.

And then there’s vacation, which, with kids, I’ll say it: is not really a vacation. You’re away from childcare, you took time off work, your kids are out of their element and everyone’s sleeping in one room, and aren’t you supposed to be enjoying every minute of this?! Why aren’t you enjoying this!

Don’t get me wrong: obviously summer is amazing. We love it! I don’t think that’s the issue. The issue is the expectation. The pressure we put on ourselves.

If we treated summer like we did a Tuesday in March, we’d be blown away every. single. day. But we don’t. We treat it like the single time all year we can have any fun and enjoy ourselves. How could we not be let down?

I’ve been seeing a lot of rhetoric on the Internet around having a “90s summer.” The gist is that, in the 90s, life wasn’t so full and demanding. It’s this idea that we’re doing too much now, we’re overcomplicating things for ourselves.

And yes, that’s true. I grew up in the 90s — I loved it and I too am nostalgic for it. I appreciate and agree with the general sentiment that we can, nay should!, allow ourselves to do less. Let’s make things simpler on ourselves and pare things back when we can or when we feel like it!

But at the same time, it’s not the 90s anymore. Just like it wasn’t the 60s for our parents in the 90s. Things have changed. You can’t live in the 90s when you live in 2026 (unless you’re living in caro claire burke’s Yesteryear, I guess).

Having a “90s summer” feels like just another thing to add to my to do list, only to be let down. Another expectation to build up in my head, only to be disappointed when I cannot meet it. Another way to feel guilty about how I am or am not parenting.

I don’t need advice on how to have a “90s summer” when I’m currently living in 2026. It’s not feasible, and it’s missing the point, which again is to do less, to not overthink. To make it low-effort!

(And by the way, you know what we didn’t do in the 90s? Produce and then film everything.)

So if you don’t have it in you to go to the pool tonight, or do a craft, or bake muffins, or build a fort, it’s okay to use the 2026 tools at your disposal. I guarantee you our 90s parents would have. Let your toddler watch Ms. Rachel on YouTube. Let your big kid play the PBS Kids Games app. Serve dinner in the stroller. It all counts.

At this point, we’re halfway through summer, so if you haven’t had the “time of your life” yet, allow me to encourage you to officially retire that expectation.

Summer doesn’t need to look like a movie or feel like 1994. It just needs to be yours. Which means you’re already doing a better job at it than you think.

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