They do say that the family that plays together, stays together. So here’s a game for the whole family. Do it thoroughly enough, and your kids will never really stop playing!
The object of the game is to control the stories the family tells about itself. Gameplay is broken up into Narratives. Each Narrative has a Viewpoint Character (VC), whose opinions are to be treated as fact for the entire Narrative. Note that two VCs can share a Narrative if they agree on all significant points.
The same real-world event (e.g. a holiday dinner) can be the subject of different Narratives from different VCs. Advanced players (like families with grown children) can play with different VCs at the same time for extra realtime conflict, but beginners should probably start with one Narrative per event. That’s all most VCs will allow, anyway.
Before the game starts, the VC will assign everyone (including themselves) a Role. These Roles will define their personalities and constrain their actions in the Narrative. Note that neither the Roles nor the events of the Narrative have to map to objective reality. Very experienced VCs can create a seamless Narrative that not only bears no resemblance to actual events, but supplants them in everyone’s memory.
Characters, including Viewpoint Characters, are defined in terms of six traits: a Role, three Attributes, a Tape tagline (in the VC’s voice), and a Destiny. The three attributes are Consistency (people who are “always” or “never” something have high consistency), Capability (is this person good at things?), and Charm. All of these are defined from the perspective of the VC and do not necessarily reflect reality.
Here are four characters for a family dinner, just to give you the feel of things:
Role: Mom the Martyr (VC)
Consistency: high (she’s reliable when everyone else lets her down)
Capability: high (she’s the only one who can do things right)
Charm: high (the VC always has high charm)
Tapes tagline: It’s a good thing I’m here or everything would be a disaster.
Destiny: Never to be appreciated for her hard work.
Role: Goofy Dad
Consistency: low (you never know whether he’ll get anything right)
Capability: low (totally impractical at every household task)
Charm: high (somehow he’s always talking his way out of things)
Tapes tagline: Oh, darling, what have you done this time?
Destiny: To bumble on forever
Role: The Loveable Screwup
Consistency: high (always getting into trouble!)
Capability: high (that’s what’s so frustrating!)
Charm: high (he can talk his way out of anything, just like his father)
Tapes tagline: You’re capable of so much more! I don’t know why you’re throwing your potential away.
Destiny: One day the consequences will catch up with him. (alternative: he’ll never amount to anything)
Role: The Smart One
Consistency: high (she always does so well at school!)
Capability: high (so bright)
Charm: low (it’s a shame she doesn’t have any friends)
Tapes tagline: She’s sure to succeed if she just puts her mind to it.
Destiny: To always succeed at everything and never get credit for it (alternative: to fail at something, and be blamed extra-hard for wasting her potential).
The object of the game is to prevent other people from becoming VCs, choosing their own Roles, or creating their own Narratives.
(Note that this is better done without outsiders. They never know their Roles, contradict the VC, question the Narrative, and generally mess things up.)
This is part of the sequence of Dysfunctional Families discussions. We have a few special rules, specific to the needs and nature of the conversations we have here.
- If you want to participate but don’t want your posts linked to your contributions to the rest of Making Light, feel free to choose a pseudonym. But please keep it consistent within these threads, because people do care. You can create a separate (view all by) history for your pseudonym by changing your email address. And if you blow it and cross identities, give me a shout and I’ll come along and tidy it up.
- On a related note, please respect the people’s choice to use a pseudonym, unless they make it clear that they are willing to let the identities bleed over in people’s minds.
- If you’re not from a dysfunctional background, be aware that your realities and base expectations are not the default in this conversation. In particular, please don’t do the “they’re the only family you have” thing. Black is white, up is down, and your addressee’s mother may very well be their nemesis.
- Be even more careful, charitable, and gentle than you would elsewhere on Making Light. Try to avoid “helpiness”/”hlepiness” (those comments which look helpful, but don’t take account of the addressee’s situation and agency). Apologize readily and sincerely if you tread on toes, even unintentionally. This kind of conversation only works because people have their defenses down.
- Never underestimate the value of a good witness. If you want to be supportive but don’t have anything specific to say, people do value knowing that they are heard.
Previous posts (note that comments are closed on them to keep the conversation in one place):
- Have a Dysfunctional Families Day
- Dysfunctional Families Day: Inversion Experience
- Dysfunctional Families Day: No Expectations
- Dysfunctional Families Day: Tangled Emotions
- Dysfunctional Families: You Must Be This Unhappy To Ride
- Dysfunctional Families: Circled Strangers
- Dysfunctional Families: Fish Hooks
- Dysfunctional Families: Everybody lined up for the parade?
- Dysfunctional Families: Sitting and Rising
- Dysfunctional Families: Surviving and Thriving
- Dysfunctional Families: Shooting and Shouting
- Dysfunctional Families: Hope
- Dysfunctional Families: Forgiveness
- Dysfunctional Families: Books on Tape
- Dysfunctional Families: Toolbox
985 responses to “Dysfunctional Families, the Role-Playing Game”
Role: The Star (like The Smart One but with Leadership™)
Consistency: high (he masters everything he tries!)
Capability: high (so bright)
Charm: high (everyone wants to be like/near him)
Tapes tagline: If he didn’t succeed, it’s because the rules were wrong.
Destiny: To always succeed at everything, often on reputation alone. (Alternative: to fail at something, but get credit anyway: “But he’s The Star! If he did it, it must be a win!”)
Role: The Lost Child
Consistency: low (it’s kind of sad, really)
Capability: low (constantly needs to be supervised/instructed)
Charm: low (really, what would she have to offer?)
Tapes tagline: If she wasn’t supervised, she’d never accomplish anything.
Destiny: To stay out of the way and not trouble anyone.
Something a little more general– it seems to me that dysfunctional families with a story (belief?) that they’re happy screw children up surprisingly more than I’d expect. I mean, it just seems like a little piece of nonsense which I wouldn’t expect to change very much, but maybe (if it’s firmly enforced) it adds a huge amount of illusion.
My family had some serious emotional problems, but didn’t have a belief that we were happy, or unhappy for that matter. We were us, and the question of comparing our happiness level to other people’s just never came up.
My family’s (really my mother’s) attitude was that happiness was only allowed as a reward for toeing the line. Happiness outside of that context was crushed, repeatedly.
I think the mental aspect is the worst part of abuse, mainly because as a child you don’t know who the crazy one is, the psychos fucking with you are your main role models. And if it’s complex enough, the damage done is for life. 20 years after escaping those manipulative psychos, I realize I will never be happy. It’s been squeezed out of me. I’ve been programmed not to be.
Characters, including Viewpoint Characters, are defined in terms of five traits:
I see either four or six traits here, depending on whether the Attributes are ONE! or THREE! 😉 Is this a sneak demonstration on rewriting reality?
The scary thing is this is nearly playable, perhaps on the level of a storytelling game such as Machine of Death.
Role: The Wrong/Broken Child
Consistency: medium (But she could be doing so much better if she’d just put her mind to it!)
Capability: low (Why can’t she just Do Right?)
Charm: low (Why is she so sulky all the time?)
Tapes tagline: If YOU’D just change, everything would be perfect.
Destiny: To constantly have people trying to fix her.
(I’m not totally happy with my descriptions for Consistency and Capability, but that’s as close as I can get right now. I may repost later if I come up with better ones.)
I’d kickstart it. Most of my close friends were only minimally or moderately screwed up by our families, but enough that we’d all recognize the macabre humor.
See also, card game Gloom.
Role: The Dumb Dog
Consistency: high (Can always be counted on to be too chatty, too loud, too shy, or just inconveniently there.)
Capability: low (How can somebody who gets such good grades be so retarded everywhere else?)
Charm: low (Here she comes, get ready to wince and roll your eyes.)
Tapes tagline: How can you not get this? It’s so simple! Nobody else reacts to these situations the way you do. Freak.
Destiny: To constantly walk a razor’s edge between gut-churning social anxiety and soul-crushing loneliness.
Rereading the Player’s Handbook, I should rewrite the Destiny of the Dumb Dog to read: How should I know or care? I wish she would just go away. (Except when I need somebody to feel more put together than.)
Dave Harmon @5:
Point. I’ll fix it; when I started, Role Name wasn’t nearly so communicative as it ended up being.