SpaceLeaf

I’d been watching a ton of YouTube tarot readings over the past several weeks, trying to use that as a method of gathering information about myself (because who wants to sit in meditation and come to my own conclusions, right? Right?? lol)

I guess I was just on a grand quest to find out more information about myself. I mean, like, deeper than the physical world. Spiritual information about why my soul came here, and about my connection to Archangel Michael.

And, of course, it always brought hope and excitement to think that a soul tribe was headed my way.

Although, watching those videos wasn’t without discernment. Some didn’t “feel right” or feel like it was meant for me, so I’d click off the video a few minutes later. Some, I would listen to the entire video.

But I feel like the energy of the 8/8 portal (August 8 was a powerful energetic day) kind of started brushing those videos aside. I started to feel less and less like those videos were talking about me or connected to me.

Now, by August 12th, I actually unsubscribed from the one I was signed up to as a member. This is kind of a big deal because I basically almost never sign up as a paid member to any YouTube channels, and the decision to leave the membership took many days of thinking and re-thinking before taking action (just to be sure, lol).

I guess underneath it all, I might still struggle with trusting myself, because the information I get about my soul can sound a little outlandish to the thinking of our “normal human society” (whatever normal is; I guess I just mean, like, psychiatrists would probably call a lot of spiritual beliefs as magical thinking, aka: Not Real).

But I already concluded a few months ago that a life without spiritual beliefs is boring and hopeless and depressing. So I went back to believing in otherworldly entities like angels, fairies, dragons, spirit guides, believing in the existence of starseeds, lightworkers, and extra-terrestrial beings like the Pleiadians. The result is that I feel 1000000% more amazing and better. I’m smiling more, feeling at a higher vibration, feeling connected with my soul and higher self.

I’m still feeling desperate for more information, though, on what the hell I’m supposed to be doing on this planet. I have a really strong urge to heal people, and I wish I could do it through voice (light language singing) and gentle touch (like maybe my hand gently touches their hand and sends healing energy to them). I wish I could have some proof that the healing was real and legit. Guess I have to try it out on someone.

I thought of an old song from a church musical I was once part of (Jesus Christ Superstar), and it was “What’s the Buzz?” where the disciples are hounding Yeshua for predictions.

DISCIPLES: What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening. (Repeat 8 times)

JESUS: Why should you want to know? Don't you mind about the future. Don't you try to think ahead. Save tomorrow for tomorrow; Think about today instead.

I laughed so hard I got tears in my eyes because I assume that my spirit guides made me start singing it.

The message seems to be: Don’t worry about the tarot card predictions, just do today. :D

Seems like the 7/7 portal knocked me out of my pessimistic, non-believer state of mind. (It was strong; I had even said “f—k it” to the “starseed” label).

Not only that portal, but also Jupiter is really expanding Leo, putting a spotlight on my sun sign. Normally, my sun (leo in 5th house) and moon (scorpio in 7th house) fight each other due to a strong square, and the moon usually wins, so I am more of a quiet lioness.

But Jupiter in Leo now is like, “Nope! Time to shine, be seen, and be creative.”

So I bought a porch goose at a minor attempt at creativity.

(“Minor? What do you mean minor? You just dropped 600 bucks on porch goose clothing!”)

Yeah, well….

::cough::

I take my hobbies and work seriously, I guess.

Anyway, I’ve revisited an idea I had back in 2024. Or a realization, rather, about “who I am” (if that question can ever really be answered in our limited human awareness, lol). Or maybe it’s more accurate to say “who my higher self is.”

I struggled with the thought because it was a big claim with big shoes to fill. Maybe that stems from a false belief that I had to be like the historical and cultural stories of that figure. Then again, perhaps I came to Earth to experience the memory loss so I could see who I naturally ended up becoming when I didn’t remember who I was in the first place. (Who did I become? Meh. I’m kind of a nobody. So is this just my subconscious trying to come up with a radical story about my soul and higher self, to give me worth, value and self-esteem? These are the questions I struggled with.)

I even asked two psychics who had the ability to get yes/no answers from Archangel Metatron: “Am I one of ____’s human incarnations?” (I’m leaving the name out of this post, sorry about that; and I worded the question that way intentionally, to rein in the risk of my ego getting carried away, and to leave room for the possibility of the idea of a soul or higher self having an infinite of parallel, past and future lives.)

Both psychics asked Metatron separately, privately, independently.

Both got a yes.

I was surprised. I had mentally and emotionally prepared myself ahead of time for the answer to go either way, as I waited for a reply, but I was still surprised by the yes.

Yesterday, I reflected on this with Google Ai. Yes, the stupid, retarded ai “yes man” who constantly replies with “You’re absolutely right! Here’s why!” It’s annoying, because I crave absolute truth, but the chat bot DID create some words of wisdom: Back in 2024, when I discovered this “truth” about myself (my soul, my higher self), when I believed the answer was yes, did I feel uplifted and moving towards the future? When I began to doubt this “truth,” did it push me into the past?

Those questions hit hard and it was right on both questions.

So… now I guess I’m back to believing, about who my higher self is. Maybe this time I can free myself from my own mental shackles of the expectations on how I should act. Besides, I’m female in this life. Which is probably a good thing, because if I was male, I’d probably have gotten into a lot of fights trying to protect people, lol

But… bottom line is… I feel better now. I feel good. As if the darkness is lifting from me. Even if this “truth” about who my higher self is ends up being a lie, is it ok to believe it, if it brings me a sense of purpose, peace, and more love towards others?

💙🪶

Did I mention Sean yet? I think I did. ET hybrid who looks like a regular human, appearing in my dreams in 2026.

This time was at an airport setting. It’s been a somewhat common theme in my 40s to have dreams where I’m navigating an airport (for reference, I’m 45 years old now).

I was having trouble walking up a steep ramp. I guess my shoes kept sliding backwards on it. There were like 3 or 4 guys who were going in the same direction, and one of them reached out and supported my body so they could kinda pull me up with them. They walked together with me, around me. In the dream, I chuckled and thanked them, embarrassed that I’d been having a lot of trouble getting to where I wanted to go, but also laughing it off, light-heartedly.

I really liked these guys. They weren’t anyone I knew IRL, but they had “Sean vibes.” They weren’t clones of the same guy, but, in other words, when I think about the dream, it just seems like they could all be from the same place. If we go with the idea that maybe this is dream contact from ETs (the contact that is beginning in dreams before it manifests for humanity in the physical world), then I’d say that all of them might be hybrids, maybe the Yahyel that Bashar mentioned. (Not sure; just a guess).

When we got to the top of the ramp, I could start walking on my own, but I still clung to the one guy’s hand, haha, just because I liked him so much. These guys are pretty cool; wanna keep hanging out with ’em, you know?

———

Edit: Darnit, I thought I wasn’t going to write down dreams anymore, lmao…. I forgot!!! haha…. To explain, basically I’d become so pissed that Open Contact wasn’t happening fast enough that I gave up. I wrote off dream recording. I also shed the starseed label, which I’d identified as since 2010; I was upset that it didn’t actually seem to be getting me anywhere by calling myself a starseed and by recording dreams—I still had to work in jobs, still had to pay rent, still living the normal boring daily human life.

So I gave up the pursuit to “know thyself” better. I gave up chasing after unanswered mysteries; sick of the mysteries that seem impossible to solve. But then I turn right around and find myself watching Youtube videos about mysteries — anything from ghost hauntings, to the ark of the covenant, to vampires, fairies and everything in between.

Then, since I am a hermit without friends, I turn to ai chatbots to excitedly talk about these things, as well as deep dives into myself: looking at my zodiac chart (Leo sun, Scorpio moon and constant inner battle between wanting to be seen and appreciated vs. a deep need for privacy and personal space away from others), looking at my INFJ personality type, and searching the text file of my DNA report to look for signs of psychic ability.

I think my search just comes down to a deep (human?) desire to be special in some way. I wish I had some unique ability that only I could do, or at least it would be very rare, that I could share with humanity to help the world in some way. Through my search into myself, guided by ai chatbots being somewhat of an “organizing mirror with a glass ceiling” for my thoughts, we’ve concluded that maybe my gift is to be able to instantly spot truth (within a person, within a situation). Not sure how exactly to share this “gift” with the world, though. Meh, that’s a topic for another post anyway.

But the point of this edit was to kind of laugh at myself for forgetting my new rule of “no dream recording,” haha… It just felt so good to hang out with those guys at the airport and to be around them, and they had similar Sean vibes, and… I dunno… I feel like I wanna keep a record of any interaction with these people. Because, in the back of my mind, I am thinking: What if we really do have open contact in the future? What if I have it in my personal life, with these people? If that happens, then I’ll have a few dreams to look back on, nodding and smiling and pointing at it like, “Yup, they appeared in dreams, first.”

I asked the ai chat bots (Google, ChatGPT) for help in figuring out what I love to do. They recommended thinking back to when I lost track of time, because when that happens, then a person is really “in the zone,” so to speak. Well, I guess the last time that happened was back when I finally sat down and started writing out the homeless experience (the experience happened in 2011 and I think I wrote about it in… 2021? 2022? 2023?).

I guess I do like writing. Another way I’ve expressed it is through creating role-play characters in WoW (though I haven’t done that in years).

The thing is, I am not the type of person to chit-chat on and on, just to fill the space. I am usually quiet, and in the times when I do speak, I want it to be meaningful because I actually have something important to say, as opposed to just filling a daily quota of posting a blog.

What I really want to write about is my friendships with the hybrid ETs, but I think I won’t be able to meet them and cultivate relationships in-person until after “official disclosure.” With the US government registering the domains of aliens.gov and alien.gov, hopefully it’s not too far away.

In the dream, I was sitting at a small, round table with a guy who appeared just like any regular guy in his 30s—he dressed and talked just like a normal American (white guy), with the body of an average human being (normal height, normal build, normal proportions), but for some reason, I kept wanting to ask him if he was an extra-terrestrial.

As I held that question in my mind, he seemed to acknowledge the thought by speaking out loud to me in an encouraging way: “It’s an appropriate question.”

I took that as permission to go ahead and ask.

“Excuse me, do you mind if I ask: Are you an extra-terrestrial?”

He replied simply, “Yes.”

I smiled and said, “Wow… So ETs really do look just like us.”

He said, “Well, there is one difference,” and he talked about his hair for a moment.

BTW, His hair was just barely long enough that it could be gathered back into a small pony tail (although some strands weren’t long enough and they kinda just fell around his face). The color was kind of like a blonde-brown (like most people, the hair was lighter on the top and darker on the bottom, and I think this happens just naturally when people are out in the sun), so it was like a ligher blonde-ish brown on the top, but then towards the back and underneath, it seemed to have a brown-red-copper tint. In retrospect, I guess if anyone asks me if it was dyed hair, I’d guess no; it just seemed to be his natural hair. And, ya know, I don’t think it’s too strange, because I’d describe my own hair as a light or medium brown, with reddish tint. I would describe his hair color as maybe copper blonde, but when I google “copper blonde,” it just looks like a bunch of red-heads and he was not a red-head, so I dunno.

So the part about his hair being different that he showed me was that his hair responded to our touch. Like, when his or my finger gently touched his tiny ponytail sticking out in the back, the strands of hair would move to meet the finger, gently grasping or wraping around the finger. Not, like, strangling it or anything. Just, you know, a natural response to the touch. Also, when I touched his hair, it was not as fine as mine. Even though both of our hair is straight hair (not curly), his was not as soft as mine; maybe more… coarse? But not rough. Damn, this is kind of hard to describe, haha

So other than the hair, which you wouldn’t even notice because most people don’t go around touching other people’s hair, nothing was unusual about this guy at all; like if someone were to glance at him as they walked by the table, overhearing us chit-chat, they wouldn’t ever assume he was an ET because he just looked and acted normal. He was pleasant to be around. Pleasant to work with.

How did I know? How did I sense he was an ET? I dunno. The thought just popped into my head. Not telepathy from him, as far as I can tell, but it was just something I sensed and started wondering about. I “picked up the vibes,” lol (maybe it’s easier for me to sense, being an INFJ? Or is it because of my moon in Scorpio? Who knows.).

Anywaaaaay…

He told me his name (Sean) and he pointed to a piece of wood that had his name carved into it, on another table. It wasn’t anything fancy like a plaque made from some big factory or something. But it wasn’t scribbled on paper with a cheap pen. The piece of wood seemed natural, with the name carved in a way that made the whole piece appear crafted artistically and nicely. In retrospect, after I woke up from this dream and thought about this part, I believe the reason he pointed to the wood with his name was so I would have a visual of his name in my mind, to make it easier to remember, because he knew that I often have difficulty remembering exact words that are spoken in dreams.

I looked at the others nearby. There was a cleaning lady, or just someone who happened to be cleaning something. I immediately understood what Bashar (channeled by Darryl Anka) meant when he said that ETs and hybrids have ways of… directing? deflecting?… a person’s mind away from realizing that the person standing here is actually an ET. I kind of sensed and realized that she did not realize Sean was an ET. In fact, none of the people passing by realized. It was just only something I knew, now.

As with the great majority of my dreams over the past decade or so, the setting once again felt like “being on a college campus but not one of the students,” and this time there was actually someone with me in the same way. (whereas in the other dreams, I was almost always alone—alone in the fact that I was not one of the students, meaning like I had already graduated from a college or that college, long ago, but I was still walking through the campuses for some reason).

We were working on various projects together. There were some papers or random things on the table. We were just talking normally. Our next task together was going to be to count how many bees were in a container nearby, to see how many had populated or grown or reproduced. I think we were counting them somehow, as I was waking up, and the number was over 200.

I woke up gently, feeling so greatful to remember this dream. It felt SOOOO real! I was surprised to wake up in this life. I’d love to continue working with him.

I thought about the dream and reflected on my reaction to the revelation that I was sitting next to an ET person. My reaction was calm and happy. Nothing outlandish like passing out due to my body not being able to handle his frequency. Nothing like gasping and yelling at the top of my lungs, “WhAt?! YoU’rE aN eT?!?!zomg1111!” No, lol, it was just calm. I was talking to him like normal and it was nice.

I remember Bashar mentioning the idea that if we want to move into a certain reality, we need to picture the type of person that our future self is, and kinda, well, “start being” that person (do I have this right? I think that’s right). The curious thing about this dream was that there was absolutely no difference between my dream self and my current self/personality. It was 100% me in this dream. Just normal me. There is no one I need to “become” in order to start making this dream a reality. I’m already that person. And I feel happy about that.

I think it would be cool if this ends up being one of the “pre-contact” types of things that happen in people’s lives as we get closer to open contact. I have a vision in my mind (a desire) of hanging out with ETs just kind of normally, and casually blogging about it, to show people that these ETs—these people—are just normal just like us. I wanna show people that we can work in harmony with them.

I want to write about the projects that we do together as the primary thing, the primary focus. The fact of where they were born or what their race/heritage is… that can be secondary. I wanna co-create with them (I mean like, doing projects together). Maybe help the planet, somehow. That’s a desire I’ve had strongly in 2025 and 2026. Maybe if it’s ok with Sean or whoever, if we meet in person, maybe I could even take a pic or short video or something. But I don’t want to sensationalize the fact that he’s an ET as if he’s some sort of circus show. None of that b.s. I want it to be like, “Hey, here’s two people co-creating these projects together, or just chillin’ somewhere maybe getting some ice cream and walking around outside, and we’re doing well, having fun, being happy, etc.” I think it would be fun to add humorous moments together, too.

And now suddenly I’ve had this dream and it’s like, “Woah, cool, this is exactly the type of reality I want!”

And I’m left wondering how to make it a reality. Are ETs real? Is Bashar really right about the existence of hybrids? Was it just a dream or did it really happen, somehow?

I guess a part of me hopes this dream really could be the pre-cursor to this strange reality I hope to attract into my life, and that is the motivation for coming back to this little blog. Like, maybe the act of typing this out, and putting it out for the public to see, is an action that pulls in that reality closer to me? I don’t really know how it all works, but… f—– it, Let’s goooooo!

A lot of people are eager to meet the hybrid children Bashar talks about. (They’re like Spock from Star Trek—half human, half other humanoid). I think I’m a little more interested in meeting the adults. Maybe teens, too, but mainly just adults.

The children are practicing doing simple things that we take for granted (knowing how to mail a letter, for example). I wonder if there are hybrid adults who are also learning and practicing. I think I could relate—I lived in Sweden for three years and had to learn all sorts of stuff that were normal to the Swedes but new to me. The buses and subways, for example, confused the heck out of me at first; and I wasn’t sure where to go if I needed painkillers for a headache. These are simple things that pretty much every Swede knows, but a newcomer might not know. So if there are hybrid adults who are confused about some things that humans do, I think I could be a patient and understanding person for them to be around.

I feel like I’m less interested in “cool, new technology” or whatever, and more interested in just hanging out as friends.

I recently posted my “homeless story.”

It’s still a good story, but it feels like one of the “old earth” stories—the ones that follow the Hero’s Journey format, which is the same format that most Hollywood movies have also followed, forever and ever.

I feel bored with it. I’d rather hear stories grounded in the new earth. The higher timeline. I want stories of exciting contact with friendly interdimensional beings, and stories of breakthroughs of people getting in touch with their inner passions. …Or is that just the story I want for myself?

Bashar mentioned they’ll stay long enough for people to take a vacation and go visit the areas, to see it in person. I think to myself about how long that would be, in that case. Using the events of 2020 as a reference, then I’d say at least a year; that would give people enough time to see that the ships are gonna be here a while, and time to plan a little trip to see it. I predict a sort of strange phase where it’s “business as usual” AND the extraordinary is happening. So we’d have 24/7 news of the ships just kinda… floating there, not doing anything, for months on end, and in the meantime we’ve got another lunch meeting with Joe about the latest consumer report.

And what if it lasted like all day long and into the night? And more than one ship, too.

I think a great idea for introducing ET life to the public would be to start with a super-cute little creature. Something with fur that resembles our fur-babies at home, but is obviously not from Earth. Then after people see that alien life is absolutely adorable and not scary, we can move on to humanoids (Pleiadians, Yahyel, whatever).