As of today, I have completed my 51st revolution around the sun. I am, by I think most societal standards worldwide, officially considered to be “old” (or at least “elder middle-aged”) or something like that. Some days I feel it, some days I don’t. I consider this birthday to be my official entry into “middle age” because I’m planning to live to be 100, mostly out of pure spite for those who say that I can’t make it that far (be it the government, fascists, haters, players, or anyone else like that C.S. prof that I had who told me that “I’d never get a job in computer science”). I’m planning to outlive all those techbros and billionaires while they suffocate in their post-apocalyptic bunkers.
Whew, that took a dark turn, dinnit? Sorry about that. Let’s reset: Hey y’all, it’s my birthday! I’m still here, and I’m better than ever!
As this new solar revolution begins, I have just started a new software job as a Principal Engineer the previous Monday. It was a whirlwind affair, going from I’ve never heard of this company to the state of I’m now working for this company in the space of less than 2 weeks. The first week has been a firehose of trying to assimilate a new culture, job description, and product and lemme tell ya, that kind of activity hits different in one’s 50s than it does in their 30s (or even early 40s). I think I’m really going to enjoy this job and this company, once they turn that fershlugginer firehose off and just let me get to the bidness of doin’ mah bidness!
So it’s been a whirlwind week of “newness” after a 2-year hiatus from the corpo world, and I gotta tell ya, I’m just tired and am glad for the break. Plus, the new corpo gives me the day off for my birthday, so I got a vacation day my very first week there! Can’t beat that with a stick!
As one of my CortexImplant chooms put it, I’m glad to be part of the “50% Club” and am looking forward to receiving the patch for my vest so that I can be a true curmudgeon with impunity and nobody can call me on it. Hey, I’m already a member of AARP!
Big Plans Then, Choom?
People always ask this, and I think that it’s just a way of making small talk and thinking that they need to show more interest than a simple “Hey, happy birthday!” response would seem to indicate. But honestly, the older I get, the more I hate this question because at some point — and I think it’s different points for different people — birthdays just seem to mean less and less as time goes on, with perhaps the notable exception of those “new decade” birthdays. I wish people would stop asking this question. If I have big plans for a celebration, rest assured that I will tell you without you asking, omae.
But I’ve never been one who likes to plan their own celebrations, especially on my own birthday. I’ve always thought that should be the province of other people as a celebration of the fact that they’re glad that the celebratee has been part of their lives for however long. And as a result of my own life choices over the years as well as the vagaries and vicissitudes of life, I don’t really have that many close social relationships anymore of people that would think to do this for me. Over the last few months, I’ve come to realize that I’m a relatively solitary individual who has a fair amount of acquaintances and moderately close friendships, but I don’t really have an intimate “best friend” with whom I spend a majority of my time (which is probably a whole self-analytical-in-search-of-catharsis essay in and of itself for another time).
Turns out that a majority of my relationships are more para-social than social.
Suffice it to say that I don’t have anyone in my life to plan a celebration for me, and I dislike planning (outside of work contexts) and much prefer spontaneity, so my answer to that question is usually “No” which kind of leaves both parties feeling awkward because nobody really knows where to go from that answer in polite conversation. (Kinda makes me want to say, “Bet you kinda feel stupid for asking that question now, don’tcha choom?“)
Look, I’ve been on my own for a long, long time. I’ve been fortunate enough to luck into a good financial situation over the years. I’ve also had the good fortune to have gotten 2 years to myself to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and to learn a lot about myself and what I’ve become. As my extended family dwindles, friends move away, and I just get older and have lived more life, holidays and special occasions become less and less interesting because most of those things are really meant for others around you than for you. I’ve always found it kinda weirdly selfish to plan one’s own birthday party, for some reason.
Kinda analogous to that whole “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?” situation in my view of the world.
So What Are Your Plans, Gloomy Gus?
Honestly? Not much. Having to go from “unemployed;no schedule” to “we need you to do these 5,000 things by the end of the week” was a lot more tiring than I have experienced before and my cortex implant was having trouble keeping up, so now I’m just tired and honestly a bit shell-shocked.
I already kind of have everything I want/need, because I’ve been fortunate enough to just grab something as it comes along if I want it. Although if someone wants to drop a Lamborghini Huracan Performante on my driveway, I will graciously accept it with no questions asked. ;)
And CDPR finally dropped patch 2.3 for Cyberpunk2077, so I want to spend some time playing that game to uncover whatever it is that’s new that got dropped into the game.
One of my good friends that previously moved away is back in town for a few weeks, so I’d like to get together with her maybe for dinner. But she’s got her kids in tow, so I don’t think “spontaneity” is on her list of current strengths anymore.
But once I get around to it (after I publish this infodump, most likely), I’ll probably either give her a call and see what she and the fam are up to tonight, or maybe call another buddy of mine and get my free birthday dinner at a local wing joint. I’m gonna jump on our community holocall (voice chat) for a bit and talk with my international chooms, and of course I’m planning to play copious amounts of Cyberpunk 2077 (which, due to the aforementioned spontaneity concerns might preclude those options).
And since I didn’t get much sleep last night (or the night before), I might try to turn in early to maximize my sleep density based on my new biorhythms that my body has already seemed to adopt after a single week of corpo life. I want to make this birthday restful and rejuvenating. I’m too old to go downtown and party till 2am, I can’t drink anymore anyway, and I don’t have the gumshun to plan anything out more than 3 hours in advance.
So there you have it. I’m an old Gen-Xer who was raised on computers and video games and living up to my old “slacker” characterization. I didn’t do it then, so I’m doing it now.
That’s it. That’s all I want on my birthday.
