Shroomy's Creed

Trigger Warning: This post touches lightly on death and sickness.

I feel like my life has been that of a leaf in the breeze. Winds of circumstance blow me this way and that, leaving me in whatever scenario I land in. In this I tend to not accept responsibility for the good or the bad in my life, instead opting to lay all blame at the feet of destiny.

This is allows me to go through life guilt free. Instead of accepting my role in any given prediciment I can instead pass the blame to forces outside my control. It's an out for all fault. It's the perfect scape goat.

I hate it.

Recent events and loss in my life have made me wish I had listened better. Now, a friend is diagnosed with a terminal illness and I realize that I cannot wait to listen any longer. Alas, I feel my extent of listening is asking "How has your day been?" and then awkwardly sit in silence after they say "Okay, I guess."

I long for genuine connection, I want to know what makes my friends happy, and what weighs down their shoulders. To this end I have purchased "You're Not Listening" by Kate Murphey in the hopes of acquiring guidance on how to truly listen to the people around me and here what they are saying.

I'm only a couple of chapters in so far, but the points Murphey make started me reflecting on myself, and this snowballed into a futher reflection of the person I wish to be. Not the person I ought to be, or the person others want me to be, but what I wish to be. I don't want to be the person on my death bed regretting the life I never lived. And as recent events have raised with me, tomorrow is not gaurenteed.

The Creed of Shroomy

Be honest

I vow to be honest. I will not hide my failures behind excuses of difficulty that did not exist. I will be truthful to those I deal with. I will not decide for them what they are capable of hearing, mincing words to spare them discomfort. This does not mean I will be brash to the point of causing injury with my words.

Be not afraid of failure

I vow to not run from failure, but to learn from it. My whole life I've known I am petrified of failure. Too worried about the consesquences I often opt to do nothing at all instead of making progress or learning. I will try, I will fail, I will learn, and I will try again.

Listen well

I vow to listen to those I interact with. We live in a world of ever increasing interconnectedness and yet people are more lonely then ever. It is because a long the way we have stopped listening to each other. I am a fiend for stories yet always lament not being able to find one. There are eight billion stories walking around out there. It's time I started listening, truly listening, to them.

Bend not a knee to technology

I vow to be in control of my relationship with technology. Looking at my phone's screen time stats I have averaged three hours and ten minutes with my phone each day this week. That is too much. I have a wife, kids, and a job. To be spending nearly 20% of my waking hours with a device that is designed to addict me is unnacceptable. To this end I vow to use my phone for less than one hour each day. If I surpass this time limit I will perform a suitable punishment.

Mark the passage of time

I vow to watch the passage of time, and not let it slip through my fingers. One thing that always catches me off guard is how quick time flies. I'll think I have plenty of time left and then suddenly an event has passed, a task if overdue, I've forgotten someone's birthday. I will mark the passage of time with daily journaling. Reflecting on what I have done that day, the things I'm proud of, the things I wished I did better, random thoughts. I will not let another day slip by unthanked for the opportunites it has provided me.

Dare

I vow to dare. This is closely related to fear of failure, but I want to explicitly vow to dare. The best things in my life are because I dared. I dared to ask a lone classmate to eat lunch with us because it looked like she had no one to eat with, we've been together twenty years now. I dared to take up a contractor's offer of coming out with him and some friends for dinner and pool, they have been my closest friends for the last eight years. I dared to go to a developer convention to meet people I could work for, from that I have had a solid job for the last six years. Everything good I have is from daring to do. Now I dare myself to dare more.