The day after I had counted down all of your breaths
Down until there were none, were none, were none, were none
A hummingbird crashed right in front of me and I understood all you did for us
You gave, and gave, and gave, and gave
Colombia by Local Natives.
At the end of 2023, my Mom passed away after her second bout with cancer. I haven’t mentioned it online because I can’t seem to quite put the words around it in the way I would want to for the internet. I don’t have a tribute ready to publish yet, but I do have some resources that helped me through grief.
Beyond the immense help of friends, family, and my counsellor, the single most impactful resource was the book It’s OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine. It’s honest yet caring.
My counsellor also recommended that I look to grief in music and movies, so here are a few that I connected with:
- The album, Letters to Lost Loves by Tyson Motsenbocker – especially Honest
- The album, Mercy by Natalie Bergman
- The song, Colombia by Local Natives or the eight-minute demo
- The music of Sufjan Stevens, especially songs like Casimir Pulaski Day or the albums Carrie & Lowell or Javelin
- The album, My Dad Died by Justice Cow
- The album 12 by Ryuichi Sakamoto, written while he had cancer
- If Blue Could Be Happiness by Florist
- The songs Motion and Thought and Room Within the Room from Typhoon’s Sympathetic Magic
- The film, How Do You Live?/The Boy and The Heron
- The film, Asteroid City
I hope you never need them in this way. But, if you ever do, I hope there’s something that you can find a comfort in.
Oh, every night I ask myself
Am I giving enough?
Am I giving enough?
Am I giving enough?
Am I?
Colombia by Local Natives.
Written By Kelcey Ayer, Matt Frazier, Ryan Hahn & Taylor Rice.