It's scary when they look like you, isn't it?

I often forget I have a Facebook, but yesterday I took the day off to get my hair braided so if you don't know, that means about 6-7 (educators, parents- see what I did there?) hours, if not more, of sitting in a chair.

So what do I do? Scroll one app after another, until I landed on Facebook and within minutes I had "unfriended" virtually every white woman I knew from high school, college, and past jobs. Not out of boredom, but because every single one of them (okay, maybe there were like two exceptions) was publicly mourning the so-called “political death” of a social media influencer who once said, on record:

“Black women do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously. You have to go steal a white person’s slot.”

Now, am I condoning this man’s death? Absolutely not. That would contradict my actual Christian beliefs—beliefs that extend beyond one race, one religion, or one sexual orientation.

But what shook me was watching these same Christian white women post crying videos about how young this man was, about his wife and children, about how their lives would never be the same. And yet, when I looked back through their timelines, I didn’t see a single tear shed for an unarmed Black person killed by police. No grief for Palestinians. No outrage for families torn apart in ICE raids. Not even watery eyes for the countless children killed in schools and churches.

But a grown man bigot? That’s what pulled out the waterworks. That’s what brought the prayers, the “this is not who we are” declarations, and the desperate calls for protecting “freedom of speech.”

So I have to ask: does life only matter when the man looks like he could have been part of your family—never mine? Is he so much like the man you’re married to that your world was rocked because your partner shares the same beliefs?

I never really expected any of these women to put out the flames if I was on fire but now, I know I don’t even want to play at being friends with them online either.