We love enthusiastic participation

Hi Friends,

Lately, I’ve been in and out of the dating scene and I’ve noticed that my patience for tom-foolery has worn thin. If I’m going to go on a date, I do it because I want to. I’m not desperate, or interested in wasting my time.

And yet…

Some of the people I match with seem to think I love a good chase. I do not — unless it’s chasing my dogs around the house. What I value, is an enthusiastic “yes!” Some excitement goes a long way. So let’s run through some red flags I watch out for to warn me that my time is about to be wasted:

Red Flags for Time-Wasters

1. They’re hot and cold: If he's hot and cold in his behavior and seems to be sending mixed signals, it's a sign that he's inconsistent and may not be emotionally stable.

2. They disappear and then come back: I get it. We’re all adults, and we’re all busy. But if I’m really interested in someone, it shows. I’ll check in, respond to their messages, or give them a heads-up that I won’t be available for some time before I disappear. People who ghost you and then check in months later don’t value you or your time.

3. They avoid making solid plans: We’ve all experienced a flaky person. Maybe some of us have been the flaky person. But at my age, I’m not interested in someone who doesn’t initiate or confirm plans. My time is too precious.

4. They’re clearly distracted: You’re on a date, or maybe chatting on the phone and they seem distant. You’re annoyed, but maybe they’re struggling with something? It’s fair to give people the benefit of the doubt when they seem distracted, but if it just seems like it’s their MO not to pay attention or seem even remotely into chatting with you, just move on. This person isn’t ready to reciprocate your affections or give you what you need emotionally.

5. They’re not reliable: Not following through on basic promises like calling you back or showing up when they say they will is a major red flag that this person doesn’t respect your time.