Real talk: Is wanting kids a red flag?

Hi friends,

I know, I know. Lots of people want children. Maybe even most people want children. But given that more and more women are choosing the single life, and more than ever are choosing to be child-free, it squicks me out when a men want children. For sure a conversation to have with my therapist, but until then…

Share 🚩 Red Flags 🚩

1. They believe having children is the natural order of things. If you believe this, too, no hate, but there’s something about a person who can’t get pregnant insisting that those who are capable carry their children. This should be a conversation between the two of you, not a mandate from your partner.

2. They believe you owe the world children. If they don’t say “it’s natural,” they say this. I’ve seen comments from men saying child-free people are “a waste of a uterus.” How incredibly rude! How DEHUMANIZING. We are more than our body parts. Avoid anyone who says this to you.

3. They’re ok with birth control, but never show up to a hookup with a condom. On top of that, they may even refuse to get a vasectomy. Ultimately, these guys take no culpability for responsibly bringing new life into the world when they’re ready. If they’re playing fast and loose with their bodies, yours is an at-risk playground, too.

4. They're not pro-choice. Hear me out: If he wants kids in the future, but thinks birth control is “basically abortion” just run. RUN. This person isn’t mature enough to raise children.

5. They’re irresponsible with money and time. If your boyfriend dreams of being a dad but hasn’t considered the expense or the effort it takes to raise a child, they may be preparing themselves to lean on you. It takes a ton of support to dramatically shift your life with a child. This guy is showing signs that he’ll hurt, not help, the process.