Don't be a jerk. But you don't have to be good, either.

Beloveds,

What an incredible time this is for us to be alive. I’m super grateful that I can speak things aloud that, in centuries past, I would have burned alive for saying.

Things like god is within you and all around you, no intermediary required. We are all one. There is no separation. You do not have to be good. You don’t have to spend your life repenting for the sins of your father. You don’t have to buy your way into heaven.

I’ve been contemplating self-forgiveness lately. True story, I’ve been persecuting myself recently for past mistakes that I shoulda, coulda, woulda known better than to make. It’s a familiar place I visit from time to time. (The carpet’s a bit worn from me pacing back and forth!)

Self-forgiveness is hard. Especially if your upbringing told you that you needed to “fix” the family, get perfect grades, or otherwise perform for love and acceptance. In those settings, mistakes can feel fatal.

Spoiler alert, that was me as a kid.

Learning to extend grace and compassion to myself has been the most profound (and profoundly painful) lesson in my awakening journey. When I came to innerstand the depth to which I denied myself love and care, it annihilated a part of me. It was devastating to face that in the mirror.

But that’s what awakening asks of you. Absolute self-honesty about who you are and who and how you have been. This is why self-compassion is foundational in my healing work. You really can’t awaken without it.

There are so many clichés about self-love. You can’t love another until you love yourself... blah blah blah.

But for real. If we are all one, all embodied manifestations of god, then there is only love for all - which includes you.

Of course, we don’t always demonstrate that to ourselves, do we?

What if I told you self-forgiveness is not hard?

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What if it’s actually as simple as accepting was is and what was? Without laying a crappy story on top of it. Without hopping into the drama triangle and persecuting your sweet self for simply doing the very best you could at the time.

In the video below, I deep dive into self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, my beef with most 12-step programs and who the most important person to make amends to is. I also share my most favorite quote on forgiveness. (RIP Lily Tomlin.)

I’ll leave you today with this one question:

If you didn’t have to “perform” goodness, but actually realized and lived your inherent goodness, what might shift for you? Leave a message, I’d love to know.

What shifted for me was unimaginable; my heart exploded into love in ways I could never have imagined. It didn’t happen overnight but it created a sense of connection to All That Is and the world around me in truly astounding ways that continue to unfold.

This is 1000% my wish for you as well. xox

The Spirit notes in today’s episode:

• Self-forgiveness, why it’s hard sometimes

• How your early life experiences set you up to beat yourself up for making mistakes

• The trap that keeps you stuck trying to fix everything, then being hard on yourself for not being perfect

• The opening lines of Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver, and how it showed up in a client session recently

• Why self-compassion is the bedrock of all kinds of awakening

• A closing invocation for peace

• My shirt loop was hanging out the whole time but whatever. I do not have to be good.

If you’d like to explore what working together on self-forgiveness might make possible for you, let’s talk. You do not have walk a hundred miles in the desert on your knees. You can lay that burden down and let love hold it for you. My spiritual counsel has been described as the mirror that lets you see yourself as love, as divinity - even when you cannot see it for yourself. Which is exactly why we are not meant to do any of this alone.

>>> If these messages resonate, please share with one person in your soul fam. This is my ministry of love and it really helps if you like, subscribe and share. I appreciate you so much.

Big Good Love,
Anné

P.S. just be your good ol’ self

Take it from the Tunes and just BE. Here she is at the back door, hanging out, watching the world go by, making sure her human pack is taken care of/nearby. Not in a codependent kind of way, it’s just an inherent dog thing.

Your inherent goodness is just that: inherent. It’s inseparable from who you are. Yes, you can be a real jerk sometimes. And acceptance doesn’t mean you can continue being a jerk, but rather, it’s an invitation.

Look inside, do the inner work. Explore why you feel the way you do. Accept what you can. Get help when you can’t accept yourself or the situation you’re in. Know that you’ll grow through this.

Remember yourself as LOVE. Always. No matter what.