I Played Airport Stranger Roulette!

Hello everyone,

Welcome to Issue #203 of CAFÉ ANNE!

I was so happy at how many readers wrote to congratulate me on the temporary staff writing job I just started at the Curbed section of New York Magazine. “Unlimited coffee + a cool magazine,” wrote Jillian H. in Brooklyn. “Sounds like such great fit for you.”

That’s right! I miss publishing CAFÉ ANNE weekly, but the gig has been fun so far. My coworkers are funny and sweet, the cold brew is tops and the office is so big I got lost trying to find my way to a meeting and had to ask Daisy, the receptionist, for directions. I love riding my bike to work over the Brooklyn Bridge (though why do male bike commuters outnumber the ladies five-to-one?) and I learned, unfortunately, how to use “Slack” as a verb as in, “Could you Slack me that screenshot?”

I was also very impressed at the full array of Goo Gone products I spotted in the IT department. Who knew it also comes in wipe and spray-gel form?

Meanwhile, in response to reader Sheila who emailed to ask, “Will you wear the same outfit every day throughout your new temporary assignment?” The answer is yes, I’ve been wearing my uniform without fail, and was grateful it saved me from thinking about what to wear my first day at the office. And to reader Peter G. who suggested, “When you post a NY Mag piece, share a link here so we can all read it,” Yes! I will for sure share all the stories I think you might enjoy.

More deets on the office coffee and snack situation (and maybe a peek at the office lost-and-found!) next issue.

In other news, huge adhesive-free shoutouts to new paid subscribers Gringojason, Danny G., Molly, Arnold P., Ben O. and Leslie K. plus Dan F., and Ben M. who sent contributions via Venmo. That’s enough $$$ for a year’s worth of Goo Gone (assuming one bottle per week, which sounds about right considering how sticky things are getting these days).

I’m very excited for this week’s issue, of course. We’ve got a story about meeting up with a stranger to play a strange game with strangers at LaGuardia Airport, and my account of a day without coffee. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

PS My new employer would like me to write about New Yorkers with odd living arrangements—unusual roommate situations, strange apartments, etc. If that’s you, or if you know someone, please drop me an email: annekadet@yahoo.com.

PPS: Next issue drops Monday, May 11!

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GAME CORNER

Last month I got an email from a reader in Sarasota, Florida. Ben Oddo said he was a humor writer who shared my “love of human-interest storytelling.” He’d once hosted a late-night talk show with local celebrities. “Now I am show-less and bereft,” he wrote.

The upshot? He was visiting NYC to explore the idea of moving here and wanted to shadow me while I worked on a story. He even proposed several ideas, including an airport adventure.

Who doesn’t love a good airport outing, especially when you don’t have a plane ticket?

Two weeks later, Ben picked me up in his rental car and we headed straight for LaGuardia Airport. We discussed our plan, which was based on Senior Citizen Roulette, a game I invented back in 2021 that involves asking random questions of random senior citizens on the street. Only now we’d approach travelers of all ages waiting for their luggage at the baggage claim.

And there was an added element: before each interview, Ben and I would try to guess the subject’s occupation and travel plans. Whoever scored the most points would win an airport Cinnabon. I love Cinnabons!

Ben was confident he’d win. “I was a comedy bus tour guide in Nashville,” he said. “I wouldn’t recommend it, but I was giving tours to tourists, so I can really pin-point where people are from.”

Zoiks!

We started at Terminal B, where I deployed my usual strategy: looking for anyone who seemed open to chatting and approaching them with a question: “Can I interview you for my blog?”

Ben pegged Lupe for a retired Long Island psychologist. I said she was a doctor returning from a medical conference, originally from India and currently living in Montclair, NJ.

We were both wrong! Lupe was returning from a trip to San Francisco visiting her granddaughter. Born in Ecuador, she splits her time between South America and the Bronx. After a career in the jewelry manufacturing business, she recently got her real estate broker’s license.

We asked Lupe to pick a number between 1 and 30 and she chose 17. The corresponding question: “What’s the most fun you’ve ever had in your life?”

“Oh no! Don’t start there!” said Lupe. “I’m 77, and you know how many things have happened in my life? Really? The most fun? When I ran someone down in my Bronco!”

This was in 1984, when she was still in the jewelry business, Lupe told us. A client walked off with $5000 in merchandise. She later spotted him in his car in the parking lot of the local bank. When she approached him, he pretended not to recognize her, so she got in her Bronco, backed up, accelerated and rammed the back of his vehicle.

Then she got out and approached him again.

“You still don’t remember who I am?” she asked.

“No,” said the man.

Lupe rammed his car three times before he admitted that yes, he knew who she was.

“So then I told the man, ‘Now you don’t owe me anything,’” Lupe said. “It was a very expensive car. It would have cost him more than $5000 to make the repairs.”

“That’s an amazing story!” I said.

“That was my $5000 of pleasure,” said Lupe. “Later I told my husband, ‘Don’t ever put a gun in my hands.’ I knew how dangerous I could be if I was angry.”

“You seem proud of it though,” I observed.

“I am!” she said.

Ben guessed that Alli was a nurse and mother.

“She’s some sort of actress or model,” I countered. “And she’s traveling here for an audition.”

“Her husband just sat down next to her,” said Ben.

“That’s her boyfriend,” I said.

I nailed her occupation! Alli is an actor who owns a theater company in Raleigh, North Carolina.

But Ben pegged the family situation: the fellow turned out to Alli’s husband, Matthew. And she was indeed a mom—seven months pregnant!

“We’re on our babymoon!” said Alli.

A babymoon, it turns out, is a vacation taken before you have your first baby. The couple was flying home after a NYC fling.

Alli picked question 24: “When does someone become an adult?”

“When they have to take responsibility for their actions and learn the hard way,” was her response.

She had her own moment like that. “I was with someone who was spending all of our money and I realized, ‘Oh crap, now I can’t afford rent.’” she said. “So there were consequences for my actions. But then I worked really hard. I took on extra shifts and got rid of that guy. I’d was waitressing at the time.”

Alli, who is 28, said that when she was in her early 20s, she planned on moving to NYC. But then Covid hit and she met Matthew, a fellow actor also living in Raleigh.

“A lot of my friends went to New York and Chicago, but I was working more often than they were,” said Matthew. “Why would we give that up? It’s a hard life, working in the big city.”

“We have a house and a yard and a dog. We’re able to live comfortably and do what we love and not wait tables—versus our friends who live in New York and are struggling,” said Alli. “It’s still that bright and shiny city, but I think it’s getting harder.”

“And now they’re moving back,” said Matthew.

Observing her from afar, Ben guessed Riley worked for a school district or a small town. “And I’m going to guess she’s from the Long Island area,” he added.

I said she was a teacher, lives in Westchester and writes in her spare time. “Maybe fanfic or romance novels,” I said.

Au Contraire! Riley said she lives near Dallas and was visiting NYC to catch a show. She works in retail, though she’s taking time off to care for her aunt. But I got one thing right—she’s an occasional writer who used to write fan fiction.

“Yes! Yippee!!! I’m winning again!” I crowed.

Riley picked question 26: “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“I got caught stealing from Universal Studios when I was 17,” she said. “T-shirts, a Harry Potter journal. It was all so expensive! I was like, ‘This is more than I can afford, so...’ I got banned for a year!”

It wasn’t the first time she’d shoplifted, but it was the last. “Because that scared me so bad,” she said. “I got caught by an undercover shopper. I had never been in trouble until that moment. I was like, ‘I hate this feeling.’ I was crying.”

“If you hadn’t got caught,” I said, “would you still be stealing?”

“Probably!” said Riley. “It was definitely an awakening for me.”

“What did your parents say?”

“My mom was disappointed in me,” said Riley. “My parents were divorced and didn’t like each other, and that worked out in my favor because my mom didn’t tell my dad. My dad, I didn’t tell him until last year.”

“Why did you finally tell your dad?” I wondered.

“It’s kind of depressing,” said Riley. “My mom actually passed away, and so I told him. It was like, the only person who knows this, she just died.’”

“He’s not from here, but lives here now,” said Ben.

“He’s visiting from another big city,” I countered.

“Works for a tech startup,” said Ben.

“I’m guessing he’s in sales,” I said.

“You think he does sales at a tech-startup?” said Ben.

Chris said we had him all wrong. “I’m from a very small town,” he said. “Appomattox County, Virginia. It’s a two-stoplight town. But I live in Brooklyn now—this is my 13th year.”

A teacher-turned-education consultant, Chris was returning from a training job in Hawaii.

He chose question 14: “Do you remember your first kiss?”

“I do!” he said. “It was middle school, in the stairwell. I had a crush on this girl, her name was Maya. Apparently, she had a crush on me too, and we kind of, you know, snuck out. This was sixth grade.”

“When was the last time you checked up on Maya?” asked Ben. “What’s she doing now?”

They’re friends, it turns out, but just online. “She’s married now,” said Chris. “She’s got her own things going on. “

When we spotted Daniel and Madeline, he was reading and she was dozing with her head on his shoulder. They had a lot of luggage spread around them, including a drum cymbal case.

Ben guessed they were NYC musicians, returning from a tour. I guessed they were from a small city, and that Daniel was here to play a gig, accompanied by his girlfriend who worked in a bookstore.

“Okay,” said Madeline when we interrupted her nap and explained the game. “We’re on our way back to New York City. We both live here. I’m a ballet dancer.”

“Damn!” I said.

“I was actually born here,” said Daniel.

“Wow, I’m so wrong!” I pouted.

Daniel is a drummer and ballet dancer turned choreographer. They were returning from a dance company tour in Colorado and waiting for Daniel’s mom to give them a lift home.

Madeline chose question number 30.

“How would you like to die?” I asked.

Madeline had no answer: “I haven’t really plotted it out yet. I don’t know.”

We gave her another chance and she picked question four: “What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”

“I moved to China in the pandemic,” she said, perking up. “That was kind of daunting, a leap of faith. I got a job there with the ballet. It was intimidating! Just a completely new culture, and a completely different experience.”

Wow! I wanted to hear more, but then Daniel got a call from his mother—she was waiting out front in her car.

“I’ll tell you how I’d like to die!” he said, gathering his bags. “I have celiac disease, so I’d die eating everything I ever wanted. Like pizza and fried chicken and drinking a shit-ton of beer. Eating all the things that might kill me. And maybe while we’re at it, doing heroin for the first time! Just like, try everything! Surrounded by friends and family, of course.”

Ben and I both had late afternoon appointments, so we didn’t have time after the last round to tally up the scores. And we later decided—let the readers judge who won!

So it’s your call. Who did a better job of profiling? Ben the obvious loser or Anne the clear genius winner? Please vote early and often!

DEPT. OF CLEARLY LABELED PAID MENTIONS

As regular readers know, wellness company Pique Life is paying me to try some of their tea-based products and write about it. Last month, I wrote about my DYI skin care experiment—which was a lot of fun! For April, I decided to try Nandaka, the company’s “coffee alternative.” I’ll try anything coffee-related, even drinks designed to replace coffee.

According to Pique, Nandaka provides both “calm, sustained energy” and “mood support.” The challenge I gave myself: go a whole day without coffee, drinking Nandaka instead.

I typically drink six coffees a day, so this was a big deal for me. In fact, I haven’t endured a coffee-free day since 2006, and it was the worst day of my life. But Nandaka, which contains cacao, powdered mushrooms and puer tea, has 85 grams of caffeine per serving—the same as a small cup of coffee. I would not die.

Here, an account of my coffee-free day:

5 AM: Yep, I’m an early riser! Upon waking, I dissolve a packet of Nandaka into a mug of hot water and sip. It has a bitter chocolate flavor—like something brewed by rain forest natives. So then I try dosing it with half-n-half and Splenda. Much better!

6 AM: Second Nandaka down the hatch, and I’m feeling good! Nandaka also contains L-Theanine, an ingredient found in those weird energy drinks I gulp at the gym. I rip through my morning meditation like a bat out of hell.

8 AM: My third Nandaka. This time I make it with foamed milk, thus inventing a new beverage, the “Nandakaccino”. And what the hell—I top it with whipped cream!

9 AM Hmm. I have to admit, I feel even more energetic than I do on coffee—without feeling nuts. Maybe it’s the whipped cream.

10 AM: Having fun filing my estimated taxes. This is when I’d typically drink my fourth coffee of the day. But I’m so energized I decide I don’t need a 10 am drink.

2 PM: I finally get around to drink number four, and skip my usual Sunday afternoon nap—sleep is for sissies!

3:30 PM This is usually when I enjoy my sixth coffee of the day—right before I head over to the meditation center for a long Sunday class. But I definitely don’t need another boost.

9:00 PM: Hmm! I made it the whole day on four Nandakas compared to the six cups of coffee I usually drink, and seriously had more energy.

I’m thinking maybe I should switch from coffee to Nandaka. But then I check out the price. It’s $128 for 28 packets. Holy moly! That’s $4.57 a cup. But maybe you’re so loaded you can afford to just drink your money? Please use my link here: https://piquelife.com/annenandaka

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“If you’re not committed to anything, it’s really easy to be distracted by everything.”

—Kadam Adam Starr