Surrender Series 6: The Deepest Yes

I used to think my libido was just... gone. Like, permanently.

Between work, kids, and the general chaos of life, I figured that part of me had just packed up and left. My doctor mentioned hormones. My friends talked about how "normal" it was after having kids. Everyone seemed to agree that losing interest in sex was just what happened to women like me.

But here's what I didn't realize: It wasn’t any of the above. I was just disconnected.

For years, I'd been going through the motions of life without really inhabiting my body. I was all head, no body. I could tell you every item on my to-do list, but I couldn't tell you the last time I felt genuinely turned on by anything.

That started to change when I began working with a Yoni Egg and exploring some practices I'd honestly been skeptical about. I wasn't looking for some magical transformation. I just wanted to feel like myself again because I remember how my libido was during my college days. Where did that go?

And then one night, something shifted. Not in a dramatic, movie-moment way. More like my body remembered something it had forgotten. It was deeper than anything I'd experienced before. It was the kind of release that left me feeling completely different for days afterward.

That experience taught me something important: when we reconnect with our bodies, everything else starts to come alive too. Our creativity, our confidence, even how we show up in our relationships.

This isn't about becoming some tantric goddess or following the latest wellness trend. It's about remembering that your body isn't just the vehicle that gets you through your day — it's where your aliveness lives….yes, in every cell!

The cervix sits at the very end of the vaginal canal, connecting the womb to the world. It’s sometimes called the “gatekeeper” of creation because it’s the opening that connects the vagina to the uterus.

As I’ve mentioned in previous Surrender Series articles, the deeper you go in the vaginal canal, the deeper the surrender is required of us!

But for many women, it’s a place of numbness…years of stress, trauma, rushing through sex, or just living disconnected from our bodies can shut down sensation here. From this work, I now understand that the numbness I felt in my vaginal canal was actually protection as if my body was keeping me safe until I was ready.

From this work, I now understand that the numbness I felt in my vaginal canal was actually protection as if my body was keeping me safe until I was ready.

Here’s what makes the cervical orgasm different from every other orgasm in this series:

They demand the deepest surrender.

You cannot rush, force, or fake your way to a cervical orgasm. Any pressure or urgency will cause your body to tense up and shut it down completely which could make for a painful experience. This kind of pleasure only opens with deep trust, safety, and presence.

They rewire your whole system.

When the cervix awakens, the experience isn’t just local or vaginal. It often feels spiritual like what I experienced. This orgasm clears your chakras, opens your heart, and can bring tears, laughter, visions, or even spontaneous shaking and/or crying as energy releases. Some women describe feeling like they're floating or connected to something bigger than themselves.

They work through different wiring.

The cervix is one of the few sexual centers connected directly to the vagus nerve which is the main highway of your nervous system's rest-and-digest response.

This means stimulation here can bypass the spinal cord and send signals straight to the brain and speak directly to your brain, triggering full-body relaxation, oxytocin release (the love hormone), and that “buzzing for days” state many women describe and I’ve experienced.

It connects you.

In reflexology and Taoist tradition, the cervix is linked to both the heart and throat. This is why cervical orgasms often feel emotional or expressive bringing spontaneous tears, deep vocal release, or a sense of your voice being freed. It’s not “just sex.” It’s your womb, heart, and truth coming into alignment.

It happened when I was 39 years old...my first cervical orgasm.

It was unlike anything I'd ever felt. Not just physically, but emotionally—like my whole body finally exhaled after holding its breath for years.

Then came this warm, electric current that started deep inside and spread everywhere—through my belly, up my spine, into my chest and fingertips.

For a moment, I felt completely connected. Not just to my husband, but to myself. To life itself.

And then I broke. Tears poured down my face…not from pain or sadness, but from pure bliss…and relief! Like I'd been carrying a backpack full of stones and had finally set it down.

My husband held me while I cried and shook. He knew what was happening because we'd been preparing for this together—creating safety, learning presence, building trust.

For days afterward, I felt like a different person. Lighter. More alive in a way I'd forgotten was possible. My skin was more sensitive. Colors seemed brighter. I moved through the world feeling grounded and open at the same time.

The truth hit me hard: I hadn't lost my desire because of kids or hormones or being "too busy."

I'd lost my connection. To my body. To pleasure. To the deepest parts of myself.

Realizing I was disconnected from my own body had led me to try a yoni egg practice months earlier.

Not because I was hoping some magic crystal was going to solve everything (lol, I wish), but because it gave me something I desperately needed:

• A way to actually feel my pelvic area again.

• A way to strengthen the connection between my mind and my body.

• A way to be present with sensation instead of rushing through it.

• A way to share intimacy & pleasure with my husband that felt sacred, not just “get it over with.”

(The last one was a nice, unexpected benefit and made me realize how truly sacred this act is between a husband and wife.)

I was surprised how quickly the feeling returned to places that had been numb. And then came the moment when everything changed.

That’s the thing about the cervical orgasm: it’s not about “getting off.” It’s about being deeply met by your partner…by life itself…in a way your whole being has been craving.

The cervical orgasm doesn’t look like fireworks or movie sex.

It's not sharp or urgent. You can't achieve it through friction or effort.