Surrender Series 3: The Soft Gate I Didn’t Know I Was Guarding

There was that moment in the bedroom when I tried a new position with my husband that felt a little too scary.

Like, I was afraid that it might be painful or uncomfortable. I hesitated for a split second to not let him put me in that position. Because, in the past, it had been painful.

Looking back to that moment now, I realized just how much resistance I carried in my womb and vaginal canal and that the pain I felt there during penetration was the symptom of this resistance. The pain reminded me that I had some more healing to do.

But, in the literal heat of the moment (and after I've done the reconnection and healing I needed to do on this part of my body), I was feeling all sorts of pleasurable sensations rippling through my body. And somehow, I found a moment of surrender…to just go with the flow.

Isn’t that what surrender is?

Feel the fear but do it anyway?

And when I did, that's when I found what I now know as the A-spot.

The angle was different. The depth was surprising…like real deep in there. Then, it happened.

A sensation so deep, I didn’t recognize it at first. It wasn’t sharp or fiery like the G-spot. It was expansive, like something was opening deep inside of me—a door I didn’t know was there.

And when I surrendered to it, I felt a wave of emotion rise up from my root to my crown, followed by a release of tears, sheer laughter, and heavenly, wholesome joy

….so gentle yet so profound I almost didn’t believe it.

This is the A-spot orgasm.

After that experience—where I let go and felt something open inside me—I needed to understand what had just happened.

I thought it was the cervix, but when I kept paying attention to the sensations, it felt softer and it was a completely different spot.

Now I know that it’s called the A-spot—or, if we're speaking in less sexy, scientific terms—the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone.

It lives deep within the vaginal canal, on the front wall about 1–2 inches from the cervix (although each woman’s anatomy and sensitivity areas can vary greatly).

But here’s the thing—this isn’t just about where it is. It’s about what it awakens.

Unlike the sharp intensity of the G-spot, the A-spot offers something else. It’s softer. Slower. It lingers longer. Perfect for those bedroom “marathon sessions” where we both feel like we could just do it all day kinda thing, ya know?!

It feels like a warm current rising from the root…reaching all the way up to your heart and, ultimately, your crown.

Some say it’s linked to the throat and heart in reflexology, and it makes sense—because when this spot is activated, you don't just feel it physically…you feel it with a wide spectrum of beautiful, unfathomable emotions that makes you feel like nothing else matters but you and your partner. This is the kind of orgasm that makes me feel deeply grateful for this physical experience which makes it one of my faves!

It’s no wonder I had (and many women report) emotional tears, spontaneous vocalizations, or sudden feelings of openness and connection when this zone is activated (or penetrated).

It feels like your heart and womb are having a long overdue conversation and they're speaking a language that only they can understand!

Taoist tradition echoes this too. The A-spot is part of the sacred sexual channel that links the cervix, heart, and brain—considered a high portal for spiritual orgasm and deep energetic merging (or communion as I now like to call it).

It’s associated with the cultivation of Shen (spirit), and is said to hold the blueprint for unconditional love and inner wisdom. Whoa, right?!

To me, that totally checks out based on personal experience.

Because the A-spot doesn’t respond to pressure the way other spots might.

It responds to your presence—not just being there physically, but being available emotionally too.

It asks you (and your partner) to slow down, breathe, and feel—without rushing or trying to control the outcome.

That’s what invites it to open.

When you meet it from that place, it meets you back.

The A-spot isn’t just about pleasure (though there’s plenty of that).

It’s about the nervous system feeling safe enough to let go. This is true for most of the deeper vaginal orgasms we’ll explore in this series.

So yes—it can lead to deep, full-body release.

But more than that, it’s a doorway into softness. Into the kind of openness that doesn’t come from putting in a lot of effort, but from allowing.

It’s when you’re not rushing… not striving… just feeling.

That’s when something deeper reveals itself.

That’s when your body remembers how to receive without being hurried…and how to open without pushing.

And that, to me, is real feminine power.

Simple. Strong. Unforced.

Before this, I thought I had done most of the work.

I had reconnected to my body through sensual touch - by myself and with my husband (both practices are very helpful and healing in their own right).

I had explored pleasure through G-spot awakening and sacred sexuality work.

I had let go of shame in so many areas of my life.

But I didn’t realize how much I still braced during penetration—how much I expected discomfort or dissociation in the deepest parts of me. I thought that was just “normal” for women. I didn’t even realize I was holding tension there until it began to release.

After discovering the A-spot, something shifted. Not just physically, but energetically.

I began to experience deep penetration without pain…more importantly with pure pleasure.

I cried in ways I couldn’t explain—soft, unexpected tears that felt like a lifetime of walls coming down.

And for the first time, I felt like that part of me—the part that had armored itself in the name of survival—was being seen, hugged, and loved.

I felt deeply seen in a way only my husband could. I don’t know how he knew about this spot and this position but I am ssssooo glad he did!

When the A-spot is penetrated, I didn’t feel the need to rush to the “finale” or to escape to my to-do list for the day in my mind. It’s like a pleasurable form of active meditation if there ever was one. In fact, isn’t the act of sex the best form of meditation?! I think so!

This kind of healing experience didn’t come from technique or strategy.

It came from intentional presence. From letting go of the need to put on a show and finally feeling safe enough to be fully met.

That’s what changed. And that’s why this work—this pleasure—isn’t just sensual. It’s spiritual.

The A-Spot Orgasm Pattern Through The Womb–Heart–Crown Channel

If the G-spot orgasm is a spiral, the A-spot is a channel. It moves in one direction—upward. From womb to heart to crown - your center!

It doesn’t spike. It rises. Like a warm current of light moving through your body—slow, soft, and deeply intelligent.

There’s no push. No “building.” Just this steady unfolding…if you’re available to feel it.

It starts low—deep in the vaginal canal, but deeper still in the nervous system……the womb.

That place where your body decides: I don’t need to guard this anymore.

And from there, something begins to open. Not just physically, but emotionally.

You might cry. You might laugh. You might feel that sudden wave of I don’t know what this is, but I want more. That’s the heart coming online in a quiet, reverent yes. It’s a feeling of being received and of receiving yourself.

And then—if you let it keep rising—it reaches the crown.

Pleasure doesn’t peak (unlike the clitoral orgasm) at all here. Instead, it feels like it dissolves in every cell of your body. You become fully present in the moment like it’s just you and your partner in communion and nothing else matters.

Sort of like floating together in space. Like praying. Like being held by something sacred and formless.

This is the A-spot current. You don’t chase it. You don’t force it.

You just stay present. Soften. And follow where it leads.

Because it doesn’t just open your body. It opens your central channel.

This wasn’t just anatomy. It was my body showing me how I’m wired to feel.

In Human Design, this kind of pleasure lights up the Sacral center—the engine of life force (or Chi), creativity, and desire.