Betting on Yourself. Again and Again.

Five months ago, on January 5th, my dad lost his 18-month fight against pancreatic cancer. Days before he passed, we had one of those heart-to-heart exchanges in his hospital room that often shows up in movies and leaves us a puddle on the floor — but this was a moment of strength.

I asked him if he felt satisfied with the life he’d made, with his choices, if he had any regrets. And he said absolutely not. He lived his life to the fullest — which meant daring to leave his home country in his 30s with his wife and three young children so that we could chase any dream we wanted.

He looked at me and reminded me — as long as you are following your bliss, that’s all that matters.

This was his favorite line, one he said often. But this time, I felt my stomach sink.

I considered, for the first time in a long time, whether I was indeed following my bliss. Why did I move to LA almost 20 years ago? What was I after? And even though dreams morph as the path meanders, the question gnawed at me:

Is the life I’m living today representative of my bliss?

There’s much to be grateful for. I’ve carved a path in an unrelenting industry that did not embrace me, and I have much to show for it. I’ve stood on many mountain tops of professional achievement — though of course there are always bigger, fancier mountains to climb. I’m proud of that 19-year-old who ventured west on her own. She’s gotten very far.

I have a beautiful family: a loving, funny, and hot husband, and a toddler I’m crazy for. But we contain multitudes, right… We can have all the things and still feel restless. Still feel untethered.

And perhaps you, my dear reader, look at me and think I have it all figured out. Let me be the first to tell you: I have some things figured out. And what I know, I’m happy to share. But as I feel myself entering a new era, there’s a new figuring it out — and this time, I’m doing it in public with all of you: through the podcast, this Substack, my ramblings on Instagram.

I hope you’ll follow along.

Because it takes courage to be vulnerable enough to show you the process on the way to becoming.

Today, I’m spotlighting three women in my life who are doing the damn thing — betting on themselves, building on their own terms, and refusing to wait for permission.

Hannah Peterson — A filmmaker who has worked closely with Chloé Zhao and Sean Baker, whom Filmmaker Magazine named one of 25 new faces of independent film back in 2018, and whose second feature premieres at Tribeca tonight.

Kate Bolger — A producer-turned-entrepreneur who is one of my lifelines/ride or dies, who pivoted from Hollywood to open a candy store and is about to become the next Ina Garten. Mark my words.

Maryam Mehrtash — A courageous former executive who spent years building teams and growing revenue for someone else’s dream, then decided to bet on herself. Last July she launched her Substack This Is Not A Memo, grew her Instagram from scratch to 60K+, and stepped fully into her own vision.

Oh, and these women also happen to be incredible moms.

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