Romanians insist that summer begins every year on June 1, which is also a national holiday for International Children’s Day, as they follow the meteorological calendar, separating each season into a neat package of three months.
But the first day summer, of course, technically began on June 21, when it usually does, plus or minus a day depending on the year – marking the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.
June has been a yo-yo weather-wise, with unseasonably chilly and rainy days joined by warm, pleasant periods after hotter stretches in May. But now the heatwave is upon us, as it is in Western Europe, setting records in dangerously broiling France and Spain, and even the United Kingdom, all while a “heat dome” descends on much of America. Here this weekend, the highs will reach 39 Celsius or 102 Fahrenheit, suffocating and much hotter than usual even though Romania can get plenty toasty.
Keep in mind, this is a country where not many people have air-conditioning at home – not uncommon in Europe – or are patently against it, thinking it gives them head colds and sore throats. Malls, large stores, office buildings, nicer restaurants and hotels have it while many schools and hospitals do not (also typically European) – but if so, it’s only moderately cooled, probably not enough for most Americans, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. We have AC at home and don’t hesitate to use it when necessary. Last summer on a visit home to America, we were reminded of blasting AC everywhere and absolutely froze in grocery stores, restaurants and on domestic flights.
Summer in Romania means everyone is outside, embracing it with vigor and grilling whenever possible – Romanians joke that “the best vegetable is pork.” Garlicky mincemeat sausages called mici (little ones, pronounced “meech”), shaped like fat fingers and made from a mix of pork, beef or lamb and served with mustard and slices of white bread and washed down with draft beer, are an all-year treat but a true staple of summer. Many families dash off to Greece, Croatia, Bulgaria and the Romanian seaside on the Black Coast or elsewhere, soaking up rays and returning impossibly tan.
One of summer’s great gifts is Romanian tomatoes, which are the best I’ve had anywhere – legendary taste that’s often praised. Romanians are justifiably proud of them, and foreigners like me are usually blown away by the rosii romanesti. The farmer’s market has some awesome ones already, mostly grown in local hothouses, but soon they’ll be ripe in gardens, including ours in Transylvania. I could eat cucumber and tomato salad every day, with a little onion, fresh dill, olive oil and vinegar. At the end, the juice mixture is drinkable and tastes like a heavenly gazpacho.
***
I’ve been plugging away at this Substack since October, writing every week except one for a New Year’s trip to Switzerland. It’s all me, zero AI. About 60% of my 850 subscribers and followers are Americans, but my readers come from several countries. Dozens are Romanians, too, many of whom are in the diaspora, living abroad themselves. Some are Romanians in America while I’m an American living in Romania. The former represents hundreds of thousands while the latter is a smattering. Still more readers are Romanians in Western Europe; Romania has the European Union’s largest diaspora, with an estimated at 4 to 6 million living abroad, leaving home to chase bigger salaries.
Along the way, Romanians have posted comments such as:
“I’m starting to love my country through his beautiful eyes. Thank you, Andy!”
“You make me fall in love with my country (never really felt connected with Romania, but through the lens of other human fellows who love this country for me as well, I start seeing its beauty). Thank you for that.”
This one is from a Romanian in France:
“Your article resonated with me. I went back to visit my parents in Transylvania about a month ago after living outside Romania for 23 years.
“For a long time, I thought I might one day return to my roots. I even considered moving to the town where my sister lives. But after spending just three days there, I realised how much I have changed, and I’m not sure I would fit in anymore.
“That said, I haven’t written off Romania. What matters most to me now is not so much the place itself, but whether I can find like-minded people. In the end, that’s what makes a place feel like home.”
And an American living in Asia with her Romanian husband:
“My husband is from Sibiu and I’ve loved getting to know this under-the-radar slice of the world through him. Noroc!” (Noroc means “luck” but also used for “Cheers!”)
I enjoy receiving the insightful feedback on the positive introduction to Romania that I try to convey.
But when I’ve occasionally written critical notes about Romania’s imperfections and oddities – here and also publicly, before Substack – I haven’t been challenged. In fact, many Romanians jumped to tell me I’m spot on about these realities. I try to be honest, objective, factual and enlightening, even if I don’t always succeed on the latter. No sugar-coating.
One of the Romanians abroad recently posted this:
“Would you consider writing about how you feel as a foreigner living abroad? What’s your perspective on their culture, on people you interact with… I hope they treat you well.🙏”
Great question. Well, I think I’ve done that here and there, through various essays. But I would say in general that I feel quite welcome, comfortable and safe in Romania. Regular readers know that I served here in the Peace Corps, ended up marrying a Romanian woman and returned later – I’ve lived here for more than 12 years, though not consecutively and over three different periods, in fact, spanning two decades. I’ve got a good sense of the place. It’s become my home.
That doesn’t mean I don’t feel foreign every single day. That doesn’t leave you when you live abroad, which is a personal choice and not for everyone, with ample pros and cons. That’s for another essay, perhaps, though plenty of writers are capturing this, particularly American expats in places like Italy, Portugal and Spain. Romania is more off the radar, way more.
As for Romanian culture, it’s proud, deep and beautiful, with unwavering traditions and heavy emphasis on family. I love all that – and the food, which for the most part is local, fresh, seasonal, not processed and delicious. Hearty comfort food overall, though there are gourmet twists on it these days that celebrate elevated Romanian cuisine. As I wrote about before, there are also fantastic soups, which Romanians can’t seem to live without, even on sizzling summer days.
And the people? Hmmm, that part is complicated.
Romanians have a saying:
“O țară frumoasă, păcat că e locuită!” “A beautiful country, too bad it’s inhabited!”
That’s right, in their own words, cited often. It’s part of what I struggle with the most, the mentality, which seems to cling to communism 37 years on, but that’s probably not the only culprit. The revealing expression is in part, I think, fueled by frustrations, a loud cry and lashing out at widespread corruption, incompetent public bureaucracy and inferior infrastructure. Two steps forward and one step back, on repeat, for decades.
Add to the mix cheating and stealing, which are commonplace at all levels. Romanians have a word for this: smecherie, which roughly translates to trickery or shenanigans. Two friends who own companies told me recently about brazen, expensive and unfortunate thefts by their own employees on company property.
There is a massive paradox, in my view, in which Romanians can be the warmest people you’ve ever met, literally willing to give you the shirt off their back or the last slice of bread or salami or sip of plum brandy – if you’re tight with them – and at the same time treat strangers and even neighbors miserably, with rudeness and contempt.
As a woman in my Peace Corps group put it back then, drawing nods and laughs, “Romania is cool, but there are just too many dicks.”
Tourists are unlikely to feel such wrath, if only here for a few days or maybe a week, but will likely encounter indifferent or gruff service. But living here is another level, in which one regularly experiences passive-aggressive behavior, material flashiness on steroids, widespread arrogance and a smothering, know-it-all attitude.
It’s common for strangers in public to tell you how to manage your kid (I’ve seen it countless times and been on the receiving end a few times) or slyly cut in line without a blink. Mow your grass and the neighbor is quick to point out the spot you missed. Drive with someone, they’re motioning you on where to park before you can hit your turn signal. Trying to fix something? The other guy will show you the better way.
So many times, upon learning I’m American, Romanians immediately make bold declarations about the United States. So often these are false – not opinions to which they’re entitled and nowadays wouldn’t offend me – but simply wrong and often leaning on fake news or conspiracy theories. I always ask how they know this and where they visited in America and nine times out of ten, they’ve not been there but heard it from their uncle in Chicago or second cousin in Cleveland.
Again the paradox appears. Neighbors, store clerks, waiters and even bureaucrats can be extremely cordial. Doctors, too, a few of whom have probably treated me nicer as a foreigner, if I’m honest. Romanian warmth and generosity are the norm, I’d say, but the flip-side attitude is so pervasive that it’s still utterly shocking.
Last week, I had an efficient if not warm interaction – no shitty attitude, at least, as I’d endured there before – with a government clerk while conducting required paperwork. I was so relieved that I did a mental fist pump. Then twice that same day, while simply trying to parallel park in tight spaces, cars crept up to my bumper even as I signaled, the drivers forced to back up, laying on the horn and yelling, completely devoid of even nanoseconds of patience, an incredibly frequent occurrence.
I’ve had my car hit twice while parked, badly damaging the bumper, and other serious dings and scrapes. Do you think anybody ever left a note? I think you know the answer. Once I was in my car, parked, when another car pulled up right next to me when there were loads of empty spaces. His female passenger flung her door open and banged my door as I sat the wheel waiting for my wife. I jumped out and had a word, but the guy just did the Romanian shrug, the shoulders sliding up to the earlobes a couple times, and walked away.
This week, in backing out of a parking lot space, an oncoming car in the distance seemed to speed up and catch up with me as I maneuvered, to where I almost couldn’t get past him. The man, who surprisingly was middle-aged and with his wife, was mouthing something at me with his window down. I rolled down my window – the AC was on – and asked for his patience but he only cursed me. Of course, this has nothing to do with being a foreigner – though xenophobic issues pop up – just that too many Romanians act this way with their countrymen all the time. It’s downright bizarre.
I have endless examples, not only with cars, on a nearly on a daily basis. But guess what? I’m getting better at not letting this agitation and dearth of civility get to me or ruin my day, though it’s not easy.
I want to continue focusing on Romania’s positives, of which there are many, including the warm embrace of my wife’s family, yearslong friendships I’ve made, the kind neighbors – there are some – and the clerks who remember me and are ever so nice, like the lady at a humble soft-pretzel shop who couldn’t be friendlier, greeting me with a smile every time and complimenting me on my Romanian. Small victories.
Recently, I had separate conversations with two successful Romanian businesswomen friends who were lamenting some of this attitude and slow progress here. Both women, who are comfortable financially and have lived abroad, said that they appreciate Romania’s overall quality-of-life to affordability ratio, still European but without some of the “Western” problems, or at least not at that level yet. It’s a convenient, comfortable base – near their roots, of course, unlike in my case – with the ability to leave when needed and travel the world. Well said!
To that reader, a Romanian mom and writer in England, that’s a long-winded answer to your question. Forgive me.
Romania is an absolutely a beautiful country and it’s not a pity that it’s inhabited, only that there are too many who are frustrated and take it out on others. But the rest of us, each in our small way, are trying to make this a better place one day at a time.
I love Romania and only want the best for it – I live here too – but the unrealized potential and sour attitude is agonizing at times. Perhaps future generations will change this, but my Romanian friends tell me not to bet on it.
***
N.B. – I’m taking the next two weeks off from Substack, so my posts won’t arrive in your inbox or pop up in the app on the next couple of Saturdays.
First, I’m judging an international writing contest for teenagers next week, so I’ll be reading a load of personal essays from around the world rather than having time to write myself. Secondly, that following week is time for a much-needed family vacation.
In the meantime, Happy 250th Birthday to the United States of America! Thank you again for being here and continuing this journey with me. See you on July 18.
If you don’t want to commit to a subscription, but you’d like to show appreciation for my writing on The Neighbor’s Goat, please consider Buy Me A Coffee.
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