Pop, pop, pop

I don't talk about it, none of us do or did. I'm with you and I've not said much, you seem to understand, but I'm not one hundred per cent sure, you know where I've come from, so that must be enough. Not curious, not even in unguarded moments, which is odd. The other ones blatantly tried to tease it out of me, at dinner parties mostly. Lots of drunken people, wanting to know.

Tonight, I remember those three moments where it was literally life and death, theirs or ours. Those three moments, where it was us who won. Pop pop pop. That's all it was, Pop Pop Pop and it was us who left the scene, bants and giggles. Pop. Then Pop. Then Pop, all gone. Situation under control, back in the truck. Bants. Try not to think about what just happened. But you can't escape it. The families, the sons, the fathers, the uncles, the grandparents. Pop, Pop, Pop. Three men dead.

I don't want to Have A Go, but you make me, and you are so persuasive, with your cheeky smile and your girlie giggles. I think I should explain, but it is a genuinely fun time we were having, I am "happy", and this is a new thing for me, after all the horror.

So I do.

I Have A Go.

Pop, pop, pop.

And I, we, win the prize. A pink teddy bear. You hold it close and then kiss me. Well done!