In Part 1 of this series, I share how deep, true healing sheds our emotional attachments, including the ones we have with materials, even with nature.
It isn’t that we become numb or indifferent to flowers and trees. It is that we realize we treated nature before as our savior. When we don’t need saving anymore, naturally, we don’t see nature as our savior anymore. We form no emotional identifications to it. It simply exists. Not—it exists for me.
Spirituality is actually built on identification and self–centeredness. Seekers perceive that everything exists for them. They tell us that certain individuals came into their lives to help them grow. Their cat exists to teach them this and the dog came into their life to show them that. Those flowers and plants are there to make them happy, the moon glows to give them hope, and the ocean waves make them feel grand and connected. This, that, and the other does this, that, and the other for me, me, me.
The modern terminology to describe this is main character syndrome.
In reality, nature existed before humans did. They’re here regardless of us. They are not here for us.
“I loved a flower so much
that instead of plucking it,
I left it alone.”—Osho
Osho’s statement is a splendidly perfect example of main character syndrome. In essence, he’s saying that the flower gets to live because he let it; that it was his love that permitted the flower’s life, as if his love decided others’ fates.
Imagine how menacing it would feel if a man walked around telling everyone that others get to live because of his mercy and love. That doesn’t sound like love, does it? That sounds like someone holding back aggression.
When we drop attachments, we reach an understanding that the universe doesn’t exist for us and that god doesn’t have to do anything for us. Our husbands, wives, parents, children, or loved ones don’t have to do anything for us either. They don’t even have to love us. If they do, great. If they don’t, great.
Life itself doesn’t have to do anything for us, give back to us, or produce any particular meaning for us either.
The desire for life to have meaning is because of existential pain. This is the pain that all of humanity shares. We insist that life has to have meaning, otherwise, there is no reason to get out of bed in the morning. But do we need a reason? Or can we just get up anyway and live life well even without having a specific purpose? People insist that even pain has to have a reason in order to justify its existence. If the pain was purposeful, then they’d accept enduring the pain.
However, if we see that pain has no actual purpose, then we’d be inclined to cure ourselves once and for all. It would be like getting a paper cut then drowning the cut in lemon juice for no reason other than because a person thinks pain = purpose. If we understand that pain has no purpose, first, we’d stop with the lemon juice.
The belief that pain = purpose is precisely what blocks people, especially spiritual and religious followers, from pursuing permanent cures. For them, pain is life’s purpose. They yearn for lemon juice the same way people listen to sad songs just to cry.
* * *
Once I was sitting in Zoom room among a group of healers. One of them said that since becoming a healer, he was no longer able to tolerate working at a normal corporate job. Others chimed in to agree, and the consensus was that anyone who would choose such unbearable working conditions had something wrong with them. From this conversation, I could see that a bond formed, which I imagined could be titled Spiritual People Dismissing the Material World. Back then, I wasn’t as healed as I am now, but even then, I understood that it was a bunch of Not Healing.
When we are truly and deeply healing, life doesn’t bother us so much. Our jobs don’t bother us so much. It is great to do things we enjoy but we are still fine while doing things we don’t enjoy. I think most of adulthood (and living in this demon world) is doing things we don’t enjoy. If that’s going to be a problem, it means the majority of how we spend our adulthood is going to be a problem.
We cannot say “we create our own reality” or “everything happens from within” while at the same time hold a perspective that the material world is impossible or beneath a person after becoming spiritual. In essence, a person is telling us that they’re elevating themselves, but at the same time, they’re saying they’re not okay in certain (non life–threatening) situations.
It would be like saying, I’m healing and leveling up, and I thrive when I do what I want, but I mentally and emotionally crumble whenever I have to do what I don’t want.
Come again?
This is how those in the spiritual and healing community talk. I might be the only person thus far to say, Hold up. You say you’re healing???
If you ask me, zero people in the healing and spiritual community know what healing is.
We often see people say that since becoming spiritual, it has rendered them unable to make any more small talk. Why is that? What would prevent a person from being able to find commonality with any person and connect with them?
The spiritual say they want to change the world, and in their next breath, they refuse to engage in small talk. How are people going to change the world if they don’t want to talk to the world?
Mingling with people from all levels of consciousness is another enjoyment that occurs after true and deep healing. The spiritual community doesn’t think so, however. They want to draw a line and separate themselves. “Commoners” stand to the left, spiritual elites gather to the right, never to mix. Spirituality tells us that once a person becomes spiritual, their vibration rises like stock prices! They become spiritually wealthy!! They will be in a brand spanking new vibration, and all these good–for–nothing unawakened losers will exit their social circles as if they’re trash that took themselves out.
When we are truly healing, there is very little conflict that we have with others because there’s little conflict we have with ourselves. Toxic relationships do end by our own choice but we might find that we keep many of the relationships we’ve had before—with those who don’t do any healing, with those who bear “vibrations” that are far, far, far different from ours. True healing allows friendships, connections, and relationships to flower and prosper because the person’s walls are gone: the energy walls, and the elitist walls also.
Honestly, if and when we’re truly healing, we realize that just about no one will be able to love us the way that we love them, and no one will share the same level of consciousness as us. But so what? Do two people HAVE TO share the same vibration (whatever that is) to be friends? Do they HAVE TO share the same perspective about life and universe? Do they HAVE TO agree? Do they HAVE TO share similar goals? Do they HAVE TO be loving? Do they HAVE TO be attentive? Do they HAVE TO be useful to us?
If ever a person expects a list of HAVE TOs in their relationships, it is because they’re seeking utility and control. It would be like going to the shelter to find a dog and requiring that the dog HAS TO love you, HAS TO protect you, HAS TO not bother you when you’re busy, HAS TO comfort you when you’re crying, HAS TO give you his paw when you ask, HAS TO sit when you want him to sit, HAS TO, HAS TO, HAS TO.
Finally, we end with the topic of true love. What is true love? True love is when you include someone else as your own without attachment. Literally, it means they DON’T HAVE TO. You can you love them but they DON’T HAVE TO love you back. You can give to them and be good to them but they DON’T HAVE TO give anything back. They don’t HAVE TO do, be, act, give, nor provide anything.
Do people in this world want true love? No, they don’t.
If people wanted true love, here is the first thing that would happen: spirituality and religion would stop constantly scratching and clawing for god and universe to love them back, to give them attention back. As in, people will let god and universe exist in the space of DON’T HAVE TO.
If people don’t scratch and claw for god and universe to love, give, provide, protect, pay attention to, save, guide, respond, and any of that, then there is a good chance that they won’t task another human or animal to do those things for them either. That is part one of true love.
This content is for adults only, is wholly for entertainment purposes only, and is the personal opinion of Ana Coeur. No part of this content is fact nor is it professional nor medical advice, diagnosis, guidance, treatment, nor suggestion.
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