The Lies Holding Us Back

I have a faulty memory. I can’t recall huge chunks of my own life, including childhood. I easily forget names and faces, even after making an effort to remember. This is not an age-related thing; it’s a lifelong condition.

As a teenager, I was heavily involved in theater and acted in a number of plays. Even then—and even when I had the leading role, so the stakes were pretty high—I struggled to memorize lines.

I also studied classical piano, and while I had some facility as a player, I couldn’t memorize the music to save my life.

And now: I face the challenge of delivering a well-rehearsed speech with no notes or slides in front of a large audience (and it will be recorded).

So you can imagine that my lifelong self-belief that I’m crappy at memorizing is coming back to bite me—hard.

And it’s not serving me well. Not at all.

If I’m convinced I’m a terrible memorizer, then I’ll have a terrible time memorizing my speech.

So I’m working to flip the script:

Yes, memorization does not come easily to me. But I have the tenacity, the will, and the courage to master this task. I’m going to accomplish the task with style and finesse.

Just because memorizing is difficult for me does not mean it is impossible—or that I’m doomed to fail at it.

By believing that I can do this well, perhaps I’ll discover that I’m not nearly as bad at this skill as I always believed; perhaps I simply needed the right challenge to provoke me—in a good way—to get over the hump.

Everything comes back to mindset, right?

Too often, writers and other creatives tell themselves what they’re not good at—and then go on to prove the point.

I’m terrible at revising my work.

I’m incapable of finishing a manuscript.

I can’t handle criticism.

I’m not talented enough to write x, so I’ll stick to y.

All these statements carry the seeds of self-fulfilling prophecy.

And none of them serve you well. They are your Doubt Monsters speaking; and you need to walk past that wall of self-doubt and clamber up the mountain that brings you to the clear, bright future on the other side—the side where you learn you can do all of these things, and more.

Your incapability is not written in stone; it’s a self-concept that’s amenable to change.

So change it.

You can. You will. You must.

That’s my new mantra—and I believe it’s working beautifully.

My new novel TENT CITY, is getting some amazing reviews —and now you can download the companion BOOK CLUB KIT, a rich resource for discussing the book!

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“Bernstein’s brilliant work is as thought-provoking as it is heart-wrenching, a must-read for anyone with an ounce of compassion and a brain.”

“Captivating and horrifying, TENT CITY is everything a novel should be.”

“Thought-provoking…heart-wrenching…captivating…”