I Totally Biffed the Opening To Our Podcast Interview

Dear co-creators, aka Mostus to My Hostus co-host Keith Lowell Jensen and producer co-host Aaron Carnes,

I’m so sorry I hardcore biffed the beginning of our interview with acclaimed storyteller and Pine-Sol Lady Diane Amos, paraphrased and re-enacted here for torture-level personal embarrassment and peak-level vicarious public enjoyment:

Amy: So, you ended your story at our live show with “Joy and Pain,” an excellent and apt song from WAZE . . .

Diane: MAZE.

Aaron: MAZE.

Keith: (rolling eyes)

Amy: Huh?

Aaron: The band is MAZE.

Keith: Not a live map app in direct competition with Google.

Amy: (laughing) Yeah, I know. I don’t know why I said that. “Joy and Pain” by MAZE featuring Frank Bent . . .

Diane: Frank Beverly.

Amy: Bentley?

Diane: Featuring Frank Beverly.

Amy: Um, Frank Bent . . . Bent . . .

Keith: Dude.

Aaron: It’s Beverely.

Amy: (spits it out) Beverly. Ah yeah. I’m so sorry. I do this sometimes. I mess up names . . .

Everyone: (not believing me)

Keith: (smirks and sips coffee)

Amy: (dies a little on the inside)

Diane: (patient as hell, but probably calling me a silly white lady a little on the inside)

THE END (except unfortunately it was the BEGINNING of an hour-long interview, egads.)

Note: Some of this has been dramatized because isn’t that what re-enactments are supposed to do? But also, the whole damn thing is EMOTIONALLY true, so please leave me to my sad blanket burrow now, please and thank you.

Note: Let’s also apologize for my hair in that photo above, and also those nails that need a cleanin’ and a filin’ and a new coat of paint. So sorry. I shouldn’t compulsively want to only share shitty photos of myself. To be fair to ME, tho, well, I don’t take good pictures and I can’t hide forever hoping someday I’ll be miraculously photogenic or, less miraculously, presentable.

NOTE: I had to look up the band and the singer to make sure I had the names right in order to write this.

SIGH.

It’s FRANKIE BEVERLY. MotherFU%#!&$#.

Anyway, dudes. So sorry I flubbed. But one of you is a world-renowned comedian, and the other is an accomplished podcaster—so whose fault is this, REALLY???

Oh. Still mine?

Fine.

xoxo,

Amy

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