Did you know that drinking water helps regulate your body temperature? I think about this as I finish a glass that has been left on the kitchen counter by a past me. My husband is annoying about water consumption for the whole family—it makes everyone happier he says. I leave the glass full for a future me. There is another one on the bathroom vanity.
The thing about consistent water consumption is that it does improve some things. I feel more emotionally in control, less hungry for sugar. I begrudge the argument for science a lot—there’s more to life, I’m telling you—but the thing about this particular science is that it’s helped me, so I’ll take it. I’m a hypocrite after all.
Is this part of what you’re trying to achieve? With that whole embodiment thing you’re on about these days? This thought rolls into my head; I’m interrogating myself—because I wonder if embodiment is simply about physicality or if I just have to accept that I will always feel slightly uncomfortable when I am pursuing change.
I think, then, if there’s such a thing as metaphysical embodiment (oxymoron? maybe) and if the thing that I am after—a fluid experience of myself through all parts of my life—is possible if I think of embodiment on this level.
Metaphysical embodiment, as I see it:
Being able to put my imagination into words. I’m so tired of people being confused with what I have to say.
Maintaining elements of my physicality when confronted with sharing parts of my thought process. I don’t want to shake when I talk, or go red, or let fear of being wrong render me silent.
Trusting what is available to me through me. I no longer want to be vulnerable to the parts of myself that I don’t like.
This entry was intended to be about why I hadn’t written my 2024 Year in Review yet, something I do every December to track what I did and did not accomplish in the previous 12 months. But then, what is fluid about that? I am more than a year of my being. A year is more than a day in December when I am run down and looking for relief.
The truth is, I was so many people in 2024: a mother, a grad student, an ex-friend, a woman who didn’t trust herself, a woman who did. A wife. Countless others. I don’t know where they start and end, if there will ever be a stop to how they blush, or worry, or yearn to be understood. But, one of them bought a new hat in December that no one likes and she doesn’t care. One of them danced hard when everyone else was dancing sheepishly. They all tried, in one way or another, to do their best. They all drank water.
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