High Vibe, Low Vibe

Welcome back to Always Something. I say welcome back because even though I’ve written since my White Lotus series, it hasn’t really been consistent. There’s nothing like a weekly television schedule to keep me in check. (Breaking: 32 year old woman with ADD discovers that implementing routines keeps her accountable!)

Which brings me to the reason for this return to form—Season 6 of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Each week, I’ll be analyzing the high vibrational and low vibrational moments of the women most commonly known for carrying the Bravo universe on their backs. Plus, other updates and pop culture takes.

Before I get into it—real ones know I am a longtime avid listener of Sexy Unique Podcast, a Bravo podcast for geniuses. Do I have a slightly parasocial relationship with the hosts? Has my personality been permanently scored with their greatness? Well, yes! HOWEVER I will not be listening to their weekly recap of SLC until after publishing. These words are my own (from my heart flow). So without further ado….

High vibes are moments of hilling, bliss, and radical authenticity… like Meredith being functionally barred out in a bathtub.

Low vibes, on the other hand, are rooted in personal and cultural despair—like when Meredith mismanaged her meds to the point of bed rot withdrawal in Bermuda. Or Bronwynn’s dogshit-covered mansion.

The girlies congregating in the parking lot, waiting on their chariot AKA Angie’s midlife crisis camper (also very high vibe) was a sight to behold.

Pranks have no place in the Bravo community. Like, have we learned nothing from RHONY? Let these women cook for god’s sake.

I know many worship her. And while I do enjoy her antics sometimes (see above), I mostly find Britani’s utter lack of tact/timing compared to the other women jarring and boring.

Her beat-after-beat lack of awareness (and the fact that she’s not even in on the joke) kills the fun. I just want better for her… and me. What can I say I’m a really good person <3

Though I personally hate this look (and now know how my husband felt when I went through my red hair era), the Wild Rose’s fiery mane is a clear indicator of her hilling journey coming full circle. Kudos mama!!!

According to the rhumouurzzzzzz she was still in negotiations over her salary. A great lesson for the girls to never accept the initial offer.

Like we get it, you’re an audience stand-in!

There’s a million Bravo-leb podcasts out there and I listen to none of them. But if Heather got on the mic to regale us with spooky tales of Mormom folklore, let’s just say I would tune TF in. Free business idea BTW!

It’s so sinister that it’s… not. Like, the fact that it’s just a normal thing for her is wild. Mary is a true practitioner of radical acceptance!

The real life horror story interjection also fit the episode’s found footage theme—which felt low vibe to me at first but grew on me.

Looking slop RIGHT in the eye.

Again, production needs to LET THESE WOMEN COOK and stop with the overt self-referencing. Like go work on a Vanessa and Nick Lachey joint if that’s your approach!

RIP to her Alibaba necklaces but THIS IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT!

Just kidding, her kooky style is always quite endearing to me, but in the words of Abby Lee Miller “You didn’t stick out to me.” Hopefully we get more of her and old man Todd’s drama this season and less of Seth Marks—because even though Meredith is #1 in my heart—I can no longer withstand her husband after the suffering he caused in my Next Gen NYC watch.

The Summer I Turned Pretty has officially ended… but don’t worry they’re making a movie! I seriously can’t remember the last time I’ve been this Stockholm Syndromed by a TV show. My morbid curiosity about the sinister plot line (psychic pain of homie hopping between two brothers) got so bad that I even read the books. Highly recommend if you’re in the market for a temporary lobotomy.

The story is written for 13 year olds, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that the novel version of Belly (who never suffered any kind of insecurity or bullying over her quirky nickname, mind you) didn’t have sex with either brother. Yet in the show, she sleeps with both. To be a fly on the wall in that writer’s room… THEIR MINDS!

In case you have good mental health and don’t watch the show, but are curious about what happens in the finale—her beloved Conrad (first brother she slept with) chases her down in Paris (a mere 6 months) after confessing his love to her the day before she was set to marry his brother.

Reunited for a day, she basically kicks him out after they have sex (women want one thing and its disgusting), voicing for the first time what the audience has been thinking all season: we only love each other because our parents basically groomed us to. Which, yeah… but in a show known for its obnoxious voiceovers and DSM-5 level compartmentalization, why is this being brought up for the first time now?

I brought up a similar critique on TikTok and the stans want my head on a swivel.. but I can’t help that I’m a TV snob loves bad TV!

Feel the same?