The Digress | 7.31

Welcome back to The Digress — a somewhat-weekly installment of my Substack that I treat like a laundry list of what I’m reading, watching, listening to, eating, and shopping. It’s a link-heavy segment that, at its best, provides you with new things to try across all categories and, at its worst, is considered another piece of junk mail by you that is deleted before it’s opened.

If you’re in the former camp, HI!

To set the scene: It’s Thursday at 12:40pm. I’m standing at our kitchen island housing a homemade tuna salad on an english muffin while Rhodes (my 3mo baby) actually naps1. I have more tuna than muffin, so I’m considering scooping the rest into my mouth by way of Graza’s potato chips that are exceptionally good chips you should try and get your hands on if you haven’t already (skip the salt and vinegar, though. I’ve had better). Something tells me I don’t have much time to get this letter written, so here we go.

I’m making my way through the 900-page book, The Physician, and it’s so damn good. I wonder if anyone has attempted to turn it into a series or if it’s just flown under the radar for the last 40 years. I don’t want want to Google it because I don’t want to ruin the story for myself, so I will continue living in the dark (ages, just like where the book is set!).

I want to use this section of The Digress to shout out two writers on Substack. Truth be told, I don’t read many other ‘stacks. I’m subscribed to a lot, but I don’t read every single last word of each of their letters all the time. However, when it comes to Julie Schechter’s and Shira Hoffman’s musings on motherhood as we know it, I gulp down every last word like it’s ice cold water after stepping outside in 110º heat (i.e. I dump it directly onto my face with reckless abandon).

I’ve known Julie for a long time, from back in her “founder days”. But I’ve never known the writing side of Julie, and I have to say — I love it. Her essay on getting married at 25 then again at 35 is a great place to start.

Julie led me to Shira who recently had an essay blow up called The Second Child Conundrum. The twist is that, while this essay is earnest, emotional, and vulnerable, Shira is a comedy writer and earnest essays aren’t her usual and that’s why I love her and relate to her and hear myself in her writing and why I have a huge crush on her now. Get to know her via this (re)introduction letter she sent out this week (and don’t be surprised if you see me “borrow” this questionnaire idea from her in the near future).

We’ve officially fired 1883 back up. We abandoned Elsa and her velvety narration when Rhodes joined the party back in April, so we’re looping back to finish what we started.

Outside of that, the only show Zac and I are enjoying together right now when we have the time (basically between 9-10pm) is season 23 of Top Chef. And may I just reiterate in case you missed my Instagram stories earlier this week how big of an asshole Sieger is? The audacity of this dude with his nose ring and would-be extremely cool name if he weren’t such a dick. At first, I thought he was cute. Then, he spoke so disgustedly about kids that I decided I hated him. Then, he tugged at our heart strings with the story of his niece. But ultimately, the chip on his narrow ass shoulder was just too overbearing and resulted in one of the most defensive personalities I’ve ever had the displeasure of witnessing on TV. His “I don’t care but also I’m the greatest but not like it matters at all but I’m right so fuck you but I don’t care, though” approach to, well, everything is what nightmares are made of. All I could think about during his chicken liver pâté debate with the judges was imagine dating this piece of shit? There’d be an argument about everything, and he would never care but he’d also never be wrong. Also, who the fuck makes chicken liver pâté in the middle of a FOREST in a HUMID state for 200 PEOPLE? And him READING THE RULES TO PROVE HIS POINT? Again, the audacity. What a fucking fool.

Honestly nothing. Not even podcasts, really. My soundtrack right now is a mashup of Rhodes crying, burping, pooping, screaming, and talking to me in baby language.

If you want to add more fuel to the never-ending fire of not being tempted by delicious things that aren’t exactly great for you, you should pick up one of the mini sheet cakes from Trader Joe’s. You’re gonna be pissed. Like, they’re so good that you’re going to be so mad at yourself for ever bringing one home and then you’ll probably take it out on me in a sugar-fueled rage, and I won’t blame you. I got the strawberry version and saw red. I’ve heard the yellow cake with chocolate frosting is even better. The choice is yours.

As for cooking, this salmon teriyaki bowl with what I’d essentially call salmon nuggets went over INCREDIBLY well here. It’s super easy and super fucking good.

Another big hit I made this week is this sheet pan gnocchi by Caroline Chambers (it calls for polenta, but I had gnocchi on-hand and it’s an approved substitute, so whatever). I’ve come to realize that any sheet pan gnocchi situation is a fail-safe move and this recipe was no different. Just so good.

• This laundry detergent lasted us SIX MONTHS. People are usually pretty set in their ways a la laundry detergent, but I got this stuff in January in an attempt to use a truly “clean” formula and I love it. Everyone’s skin in my family seems to love it, actually.

• We have tall cubby holes in our drop zone, and Zac had taken to tossing all his hats in one. Obviously, the lack of order sent me into a frenzy, so I ordered these acrylic hat organizers to make sense of his mess and they turned out to be exactly what was needed.

• Ziggy has approximately 94 bath toys, so I got this adorable blue and cream checkered basket to house them all when they’re off-duty.

• My mom and I popped into J.Crew Factory last week and decided Ziggy needed this Friyay t-shirt. I don’t make the rules.

• I am once again telling you that these oversized Old Navy tunic tees are literally the perfect shirt and that you need at least two colors if not five.

• If you are a mom/aunt/grandma/whatever to a car/boat/plane/truck-obsessed toddler, you NEED to order them this book. We got it for Ziggy at Barnes and Noble last weekend, and he is obsessed. Like, sits and “reads” it. Like really studies it. Takes it in. Last night, he sat the dinner table with us mindlessly shoving food into his mouth while reading this book like it was a newspaper. It was incredible.

• I saw this cute summertime sweat set at Target the other week but walked away from it, telling myself I don’t need it. But when I went back to Target this week, I could no longer resist and ended up getting it because I love the brown color and the bead detail on the top’s ties. It’s so perfect for a pool/beach side look and we’re going to Mexico in October, so it does have a purpose.

• I’ve owned these slippers for months now, and they haven’t lost any of their cushion and are hands down the best I’ve ever owned. Ever. I know this makes me sound almost-40 as fuck, but I LOVE THESE SLIPPERS SO MUCH.

• Lastly, I just restocked my supply of this eyelash growing serum that legitimately works and has made my puny little lashes curl up on their own, they’re so long! It’s the only serum I’ve stuck with and that has truly worked, and you can use code RLC10 to get 10% off!

All right, guys. Go out there and have a great weekend. Doctor’s orders.

xox,

EGM