on loneliness

.. . . .. .

there’s a fly in my room

hovering around my desk

with labored effort

rather than ending it’s life

i chose to have

a roommate for the day

“that would be nice” i thought… “to have a presence in this space, signs of life”

for loneliness is like a blanket

that can be weighed down

with the expectations

of better days

.. . . .. .

so i chose to hold

the blanket close

and remember that

everything is alive

.. . . .. .

there’s a fly in my room

and rather than ending it’s life

i chose to name her lola

.. . . .. .

the moment i accepted

her presence in my space

she let go of the laborious flight

and landed on my desk

right by my pens and papers

and took her final sleep

.. . . .. .

and again i am reminded

to grow beyond

my limited perception

of the world

and to move into

into a deeper place

where life makes life

if only we accept

the death in between

and the inevitability

of turning a new leaf

.. . . .. .

i am sitting at the edge

of something new

and have yet to say goodbye

to what was

and in this middle space

i exhale

and brace myself

for the coming of tomorrow

.. . . .. .

MUSIC FOR THE FEELINGS

Much love,
Zulfa