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Alexandra’s Substack · Mar 13, 2026

Nothing Beats Zero

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5 A.M. Run Club — Chapter 4 of Celery Juice, Clickbait and Control

I have always been a size extra small. It defined me.

Like having hazel eyes, dirty blonde hair, and hands that never quite fit the piano keys. “I’m extra small.” Unchangeable. A fixture. A facet of my being.

The best one. Extra small.

What’s smaller than small? (As Outkast would say: what’s cooler than being cool?)

Like the top prize. Nothing beats zero.

Of…

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