There is something about family that has a unique way of bringing out both our greatest joys... and our greatest challenges.
For our family, summer means traveling halfway around the world to spend a few precious weeks with those we love. We live overseas, so these visits are intense. After months apart, our worlds suddenly collide under one roof.
Different routines. Different expectations. Different ways of communicating. It is wonderful—and, if I’m honest, sometimes difficult.
Family life has a way of exposing the rough edges we didn’t even know were there.
This summer, I found myself in two separate moments of tension. The details were different, but the feeling was the same. Expectations weren’t met. Words were misunderstood. Emotions ran high. Like most adults, I found myself convinced that I was seeing the situation clearly.
Then my ten-year-old daughter quietly changed the conversation.
After one difficult interaction with my dad, she gently said, “Maybe Grandpa just doesn’t have the same energy that he used to.”
In an instant, her words—laced with grace— were like a gentle punch in the gut. And my perspective suddenly shifted. I had been so focused on my expectations that I hadn’t stopped to consider his limitations. Her words didn’t excuse everything. They simply invited compassion where criticism had been growing.
A few days later, after another awkward family moment, this time with my husband’s parents, she did it again.
“Maybe he just forgot what it’s like to have children around,” she said.
Again, I felt that familiar punch. And my heels that were previously dug into my own ‘right’ way, suddenly loosened their grip.
My daughter wasn’t denying that something difficult had happened. She simply chose to view the person through a lens of kindness rather than judgment.
That’s exactly what grace does.
Grace doesn’t pretend problems don’t exist. It doesn’t ignore hurt or avoid hard conversations.
But grace widens our perspective. It helps us remember that every person carries limitations, history, exhaustion, fears, and burdens we cannot always see.
It softens hearts that have become rigid and opens our eyes to another way of seeing.
As parents, we spend so much of our lives trying to shape our children. We teach them Scripture. We correct them. We pray for them. We hope they grow into people marked by Christ.
But every now and then, if we’re paying attention, God uses them to shape us.
These past couple of weeks, He’s used the simple observations of a ten-year-old to remind me what grace looks like.
Perhaps that’s one of the quiet gifts of family life. In the very places where friction is most likely, grace has an opportunity to grow.
Sometimes it comes through a spouse. Sometimes through a parent. Sometimes through reconciliation after hard conversations.
And sometimes, it comes through one of the smallest voices in the room.
So as you spend time with family this summer—or with the people God has placed around you—and conflict inevitably arises, be open to the way of grace that might be shown to you in unexpected ways.
When you hear it, you’ll know it. The question is, are you open to it?
Don’t overlook the possibility that He may use the little people right in front of you—your children—to show you His amazing way of grace.
We all need a little help, some gentle reminders, and yes, a little punch in the gut from time to time.
From My Heart and Home to Yours,
Ali
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Homes of Glory provides biblical encouragement & practical tips to help families stay grounded and growing in Jesus Christ.
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