A friend in my life group recently shared a story that got me thinking.
Her four-year-old daughter came home from preschool happily singing a song she had learned during the day. Curious, my friend looked up the lyrics and the artist later that evening and what she discovered surprised her. The song wasn’t uplifting, age-appropriate, or aligned with the values she hoped were shaping her daughter’s heart.
It felt like this pop culture song suddenly invaded her home - and her child’s heart - like an uninvited house guest. And it left her asking a question many of us parents wrestle with:
How should we approach music in our homes?
Do we block out everything connected to pop culture?
Do we allow unrestricted access and hope for the best?
Or is there a wiser middle ground?
What Basketball Taught Me About Parenting
As I thought about it, my mind unexpectedly went back to my basketball days.
I played the sport for many years—including Division I in college—and one thing you learn quickly is this: defense matters, but defense alone never wins a game. You can block shots, guard your opponent, and protect the paint all day long, but if you never take a shot yourself, you’ll never score.
I think many Christian families naturally default to defense when it comes to media and music. And sometimes defense is a the wisest move. Scripture reminds us to ‘guard our hearts’, because what fills us eventually flows out of us. There are absolutely songs, lyrics, and messages that we may decide are not welcome in our homes.
That’s not fear. That’s stewardship.
But I also think defense is only half the picture.
The Importance of Playing Offense
If we want our homes to become places of spiritual formation and family discipleship, we also need to learn how to play offense.
In basketball, offense is intentional movement toward the goal. It’s driving to the basket. It’s making plays. It’s actively trying to score.
What would that look like in our homes as it relates to music and media?
Maybe it looks like intentionally filling our spaces with music that nourishes the soul. Worship music. Beautiful music. Joyful music. Music with truth, goodness, and beauty woven into it.
Our family loves beginning the day with worship music playing in the background. My husband wakes our children with it. It accompanies us at the breakfast table in the background. It sets the atmosphere of our home and our hearts.
Just recently, I heard my youngest son quietly singing a worship chorus he had learned at church. Over and over, he sang the words while playing. It struck me how deeply music settles into the heart of a child.
That’s offense.
Not merely blocking darkness, but actively planting light. And lots of it.
Teaching Discernment, Not Just Restriction
Offense can also look like teaching our children discernment instead of only creating restriction. Rather than simply saying, “That’s bad,” we can invite conversation in age appropriate ways:
“Listen carefully to those lyrics. What message is this song teaching? Does it lead us toward what is good, true, and lovely?”
As our children grow, we want them not only to obey boundaries but to develop appetites for what is good.
And good music can take many forms. Worship music, classical music, folk songs, hymns, jazz, meaningful storytelling songs—even wholesome contemporary music that reflects beauty, courage, honesty, or joy.
The goal isn’t to create fearful homes. The goal is to cultivate wise ones.
Creating a Shared Culture in Our Homes
Another offensive move is building community with families who share similar values. There is something deeply encouraging about gathering in homes where you know the atmosphere, conversations, and influences are moving in a similar direction. Parenting was never meant to be a solo mission.
None of this means we’ll do it perfectly. Our kids will still hear songs we don’t love. They’ll encounter messages we wouldn’t choose for them. That’s the world we live in.
But perhaps our role is not merely to shield our children from every influence (defense). Perhaps it is to shape them so deeply with truth, beauty, worship, and wisdom (offense) that they gradually learn to recognize what feeds the soul and what drains it.
What Soundtrack Is Shaping Your Home?
So maybe this week, consider asking:
What kind of songs are shaping our home?
Are we only playing defense?
Or are we intentionally playing offense too?
Lord, give us wisdom as we shape the atmosphere of our homes. Help us guard what needs guarding, while also filling our families with what is good, beautiful, and life-giving. Teach us to disciple our children not only through rules, but through rhythms that lead their hearts toward You. Amen.
From My Heart and Home of Glory to Yours,
Ali
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Homes of Glory provides biblical encouragement & practical tips to help families stay grounded and growing in Jesus Christ.
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